Don't Call Me... Ever

I’ve occasionally played around with the idea of writing a story in dialogue only. Recently, I became aware of a situation that, as wrong as it was, felt right to tell in dialogue format. This is the fictionalized version of that story.

Caution: The following contains references to what may be triggering content. Potential triggers include: stalking, emotional, and physical abuse.

Don’t Call Me… Ever

“No, you cannot come in. When you called from the bar, I told you not to bother coming over, that I didn’t want to see you. But since you're here anyway, we can say whatever needs to be said standing where we are.”

“Don’t be that way, baby. You should be happy I’m here. At least open the door. I can’t even see your face with the chain latched.”

“Too bad. And I am not happy you’re here. I despise you!”

“No, you don’t mean that. I know you still love me. You just hate what I’ve done.”

“I do hate what you’ve done. All of it. As far as despising you? Hell, yes, I do. For doing it.”

“Aw, c’mon, baby, that’s harsh.”

“It’s no more cruel than you’ve been to me. No, I take that back. It’s not nearly as cruel as you’ve been. I want you to go away and leave me alone, Ben. I told you last week, it was the last time.”

“No, baby, you don’t want that. You want me as much as I want you.”

“You’re deluding yourself. I wanted the man you fooled me into thinking you were when we met. The one who was nice and showed compassion for others. The one who swore to love me and never break my heart.” 

“Look, baby, please let me in so we can talk. I know we can work this out if we talk.” 

“Stop right there, and please don’t interrupt! At the very least, you owe me the courtesy of listening! And don’t call me baby again! Now, let me finish. This side of you? The side that cares about nobody but himself and what he wants, even if what he wants will hurt someone? That’s apparently the real you, and that’s the you I’ve come to hate.” 

“I swear to you, they were moments of weakness that won’t happen again. I’m just human, and humans do make mistakes. Grant me that much.” 

“But good humans don’t intentionally make mistakes they know will cause someone real pain. And they especially don’t do it over and over again. Decent people learn from their mistakes. You either aren’t willing to learn, or you just don’t give a damn.” 

“Stop making me out to be some sort of a bad person.  I’m the same guy you fell in love with.” 

“Hardly! You are not the guy you pretended to be. You’re nothing like that guy.” 

“She meant nothing, I tell you! And I’ve already promised it won’t happen again. Besides, you’re not perfect, either; don’t try to make out like you are.” 

“Yeah, and I believed that promise only to find out promises mean squat to you. And you’re right. I’m not perfect. But I would never treat you or anyone else the way you’ve treated me. Your inability to keep your pants on is despicable and unforgivable. But that’s only part of why I feel the way I do.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you I wasn’t myself? I had too much to drink. That’s usually your fault, you know. You drive me to it with your nagging.” 

“Oh, please. You’re trying to blame me for drinking yourself stupid? What a joke! By the way, is excessive alcohol your excuse for cheating, or for hitting me again? My eye is still black and blue from that night.” 

“Answering my phone was an invasion of privacy. You had no right.” 

“You were in the shower, and it was 2 a.m. Tell me, were you trying to wash her stink down the drain? I mean, who calls at 2 a.m. unless it’s an emergency or a booty call? Was that it? You didn’t make her happy the first time around, so she wanted you back to finish the job? 

“BACK OFF, Ben! Don’t you dare try forcing your way in. You’re not raising your hand to me again! That’s better. You stay there, and I’ll stay right where I am, the door between us. Anyway, since you HAD promised it wouldn’t happen again, and I was naïve enough to believe you, I answered. I was worried something was wrong with your mom or dad. I’d like to think you would’ve answered mine if it had been the other way around.” 

“Okay, I’ll give you that one. I probably would’ve. And I’m sorry for hitting you. Honestly, it was the beer, I tell you. I'd had a hard day and needed to forget the stress. But I’ll cut back on the booze, you’ll see. 

“Look, the real problem is we’re both tired and taking it out on each other. Let’s get some shuteye. Things’ll look better in the morning. I’ll take you out for breakfast, and we’ll start over. That’s what we should do. Start over.” 

“That is not the real problem, and you know it. But I am tired. Sick and tired of all the broken promises and lies. I’m exhausted by all your ridiculous excuses, and I’m done being your punching bag. And let me make it clear: I have no desire to start over yet again. Please, just go.” 

“What’s ridiculous is the way you’re acting about something that meant nothing. You need to chill out and listen to reason; that’s what you need to do.” 

“YOU need to listen to what I’M saying! That’s what you need to do! I need to go cry my eyes out into my pillow for being such a fool, then go to sleep for the next 24 hours. AND I DON’T NEED, OR WANT, TO DO THAT WITH YOU HERE!” 

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m tired of listening to this crap anyway. I’ll go crash at Bill’s again. I’m thinking sleep is exactly what you need to be reasonable. So yeah, get some rest and calm down, because, baby, you know we’re meant to be together. I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe then you can think like a sensible adult and be willing to fix this.” 

“ME fix this? You have to be kidding! I’m not the one who broke it. You are. So do NOT call me tomorrow. I’ll call you if I ever decide to speak to you again. And I told you. DON’T call me baby! As of last week, you lost that right!” 

“Ah, hell, Sarah, quit tormenting me. Just forgive me and take me back. We both know you will because you love me and we always end up back together.” 

“You can stop with the hurt, forgive-me-because-you-love-me bull! Maybe I will forgive you, eventually, but I don’t want to at all, and definitely not yet. And, if I do, I’ll hate you all the more for making me want to. I’ll hate me even more for wanting to. So I hope that when I wake up, I will be sensible. If I am, I’ll tell you to take a giant leap from the roof of a skyscraper… and mean it with every fiber of my being. No matter what, right now I can’t even look at you another second, so just go!” 

  ***  

“Hey, Bill. It’s about time you dragged your ass out of bed. It’s the middle of the afternoon, and I need your phone. I’ve tried calling and texting Sarah all morning; at least a dozen times. I don’t know what the hell’s going on with mine, but nothing’s going through. No recording, no nothing. It’s just not working. So, be a pal and let me borrow yours.” 

“Bite me. I just dragged my ass out of bed because I got no sleep last night, thanks to the insatiable need you have to blow up your life. Anyway, you sure you should be doing that? You told me she said not to call.” 

“Yeah, that’s what she said, but I know she didn’t mean it. She always says shit like that when she’s mad.” 

“Except, from everything I’ve heard, it sounds like Sarah does mean it this time. And who could blame her?  Seriously, what do you expect? You’ve turned into a real asshole, especially when it comes to the way you treat her.” 

“Just give me the phone, okay? I don’t need another sermon. I just need to make things right with my girl.” 

“I have serious doubts about whether she is still your girl. I personally think you’re making another mistake. 

“Hold up, Benjamin, and keep a lid on that macho crap. Trust me, you really don't want to do anything you’ll regret. This is my place, remember? And I can throw your ass out just like she did if you even think about coming after me. Besides, this is take-it-or-leave-it advice, not a sermon. I’m telling you, if you haven’t already lost her for good, you’ll be making a fatal mistake by pushing it if she isn’t ready to talk.” 

“Screw you. And screw this phone. It ain’t working either. Wait. Listen. Do you hear that racket in the hallway? Open the door and see if you can tell what’s going on.” 

“It sounds like something’s wrong with the whole cellular grid, or whatever it’s called. I don't think landlines are working, either. Several people are outside their apartments talking. Seems like they’re clamoring for information no one seems to have about what happened or when it’ll be fixed.” 

“I’ll have to make the trip back to the house then. I gotta talk to her. I hope it won’t take too long to get an Uber out this way. Shit, I guess I can’t call them, either. I wonder if the internet's still working. Let me use your laptop to try and schedule one?” 

“It’s on the desk.”  

Well, you don’t have to sound so pissy about letting me use it.” 

“Just do whatever it is you’re going to do, Ben. But I still think it’s a big mistake.” 

“You need to stop thinking. That’s what you need to do.” 

“It’s the other way around, bozo. You need to start thinking. That’s what you need to do.” 

“Fuck you, Bill. Well, hell! The whole damn world's going down the crapper. No internet, either. I guess my only option is to head outside and see if I can flag one down.” 

*** 

“Hey, you mind hanging around a couple of minutes? Her car’s not here. If she’s not in there, I’ll need a ride back to my friend’s house, so wait for me, will ya?” 

“Hurry up, pal. I’ll give you three minutes, but I’m charging you double. Everything’s a certifiable madhouse today with no phone service anywhere. I got no time for charitable waiting.” 

  *** 

“That was fast enough. No answer, huh? Tough break, kid.” 

“Just shut up and drive me back. You remember the address where you picked me up?” 

“Whatever you say, boss, and yeah, I got it. But like I told you, it’ll cost you double the fare.” 

“Well, ain’t you a peach, considering desperate times and all.” 

“Sarcasm won't help you none. I could always leave you to hoof it back. Either that, or good luck trying to get ahold of another driver, you know, without a phone.” 

“And like I said. Just shut up and drive.” 

*** 

“So, how did it go?” 

“Gee, why don't you tell me, Bill? How does it seem to have gone? I’m back, ain’t I? She wasn’t home. There was just a note she taped to the door.” 

“A note, huh? And what did it say? Go fuck yourself?” 

“Very funny, smartass. It said she tried texting me not to bother her again, but the phone wasn’t working. She said we were over… that she was leaving and not to try finding her.”  

“Let me guess. You’re gonna ignore that, aren’t you?” 

“Damn straight. That girl’s mine whether she wants to believe it or not. I don’t wanna even think about being without her.” 

“You realize that’s kind of stalkerish, don’t you? And if you’re hell-bent on having her, why do you constantly pull shit that causes her to kick your sorry ass to the curb?” 

“I’ll tell you what I told her. I’m a reformed man. I just have to make her believe it once I find her. Are the phones still down?” 

*** 

“We need to get something straight, Benny Boy. You asked to bunk here for the night when Sarah kicked you out. That was more than a month ago. Yet you’re still here, freeloading, coming in at all hours of the night, and turning my place into a pigsty. 

Clean up those beer bottles and take a shower, for crying out loud. It stinks like a damn brewery in here, and you smell like that skank you’ve been hanging out with. Once you’ve cleaned up your mess and showered, you need to start looking for another job.  I seriously doubt you still have your old one since you haven’t been to work all month. Then you need to find your own place.” 

“C’mon, man, crawl out of my ass. I don’t need your opinion, and I don’t need my own place. Once I find Sarah, she’ll take me back, and I’ll go home.” 

“Hate to tell you this, bud, but that was Sarah’s home, never yours. And you said the landlord already told you she paid him to pack up her things and send them to her. That means it’s not even her home anymore. Don’t you think it’s time to face reality? You really did it this time. She’s not coming back, and she’s not going to take you back.” 

“Shut your piehole! I’ll eventually talk the landlord into telling me where he sent her stuff. Or maybe I’ll finally hear back from her parents. Wish they had more than a damn P.O. box for an address. And do you know how many Smiths there are in the Big Apple? It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. 

“Don’t you worry. No matter what happens or how long it takes, I’ll find her, and once I do, I will go get her and bring her back. I just need a chance to talk to her. Once I can do that, we’ll work everything out. 

“By the way, have you checked the phones today? Are they back up and working yet?”

  ______________________________________________________

No one deserves abuse. As difficult as it can be to leave or let go, if you’re a victim of mental, verbal, physical, or any type of abuse, help is available. If you suspect someone is stalking you, or you’re in fear for your life, call an emergency dispatcher for immediate help.  

In the United States, contact:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7223).

Emergency Dispatch: 911.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read. 🧡🙏🧡🙏🧡 I’m also enormously grateful for each comment, like, and share.😊🧡😊