Crimson Water

"Open your eyes Cyan!"

I say this to myself every morning. Well, I'm not sure it is morning, but I say it when I become aware of the need to move. The air is bright and the light is faint. The hum and crackle of the grid remind me that I am a prisoner. I look around to see the soft gentle stream running by my pod, still outside my dome. There are dozens of domes around mine. Each one appears to be identical to the last. Everything in this grid is too perfectly placed. I feel a sinking in my chest and my eyes begin to water. I wipe my face and sit up.

I start to consider what is next for me. The blurry grid walls are confusing to look at. I wonder what they are made from, but I can't reach them through the pod. I can only see them. I have been looking for a way out since they placed me here. I try to stare and let my eyes shift out of focus sometimes and almost feel like the grid walls display ones and zeros.

I feel alone although I know there are others in this grid. I wonder why there are other domes within my view. It has been a long time since I saw anyone else. This place is supposed to be a rehab, but I think I have been here for more than five years. I wonder if they think I am getting any rehabilitation. I was ordered here by the PYNE. The Peer Youth Nadist Enforcers is the PYNE. I have never registered, and I have no interest in becoming a Nadist. That's probably why they won't let me go.

I stand and stretch and wonder how long I was in stasis. As my curly black mane and braids fall below my waist I feel for the amount of growth. It feels like about 18 centimeters. I think that's more or less about five months, unless my hair grows at a different rate in stasis. I started counting by my hair growth the third time I woke up and realized there was still no visible star to measure by, and my hair had grown. It seems like I sleep longer each time.

First things first, mark the floor. Under the krill mat there is an open space of floor. I mark it every time I wake up. It has 27 marks. Here goes number 28. I sit back and notice that something has changed in the hum of the grid. I can't place it, but it seems different. Less metallic maybe.

I am hungry. I am cold. I am achy. I look for clothing. There is a rack in this pod with some red robes on it, so I slowly stand and reach up to put one on. I am sore. Not using my muscles has made them stiff. I can't remember what I did about that last time, but doing some krill stretches seems like a solid plan to get my blood flowing. I punch my tight thighs as I feel agony when I bend forward the first time to reach. I start to list all the things I have ever enjoyed in my life as I sit on the floor and lean forward with my legs spread wide open. I touch the floor with my stomach and reach forward as far as I can. Walks on moon surface, the silhouette of the mountains at dusk, the way the ocean breeze felt after a sun-kissed day of hard work sanding boats, carrying Kad rocks with my mentor, popcorn with extra salt at the raids, and always, always, always, digging in the dirt. How is this my life now? The floor is silica, steel, and rubber. I tried to eat it the last time I woke up so it would kill me. This time I just wish for death.

I look at the table and there is a pomegranate. I open it carefully so the juice will not splash me. I eat six seeds and instantly wish I had not because I am in so much pain I can no longer move. Am I allergic to pomegranates? My back begins to break as every bone in my body stretches and tears through my skin. I see the wall to my pod begin to move and shimmer, some light movement in the distance, and everything goes red.

"Open your eyes, Indigo." I say this when I am about to exit the pod. Cyan can't handle this part, so I need to take over. I breathe in deeply and look toward the grid. I am hungry and the grid has food. I lift the plant to the side of the pod door to press the wall. It instantly opens, so I push a yellow button which slowly turns green. It's time to hunt. "Wake up, Teal".

I enjoy the hunt, but Teal is the hunter. "Where will we hunt today, Teal?" I whisper.

From what I have learned I believe we have five souls living inside this body and we are each only conscious at certain times. None of us remember anything about personal identification before the PYNE took us. I think I had this body before coming here, but I am not even sure about that. I have not seen a mirror in a long time. We took different shades of blue as our names because we don't remember our given names. They are the different colors of the soft peaceful stream that runs beside the pod. I think the grid is cursed. That stream is definitely cursed.

"We are hunting rabbits today, Indigo." Teal thinks in whispers. It always makes our hair stand up when Teal has a thought. Teal and I are always awake at the same time. We have never discussed what this might mean, but I have thought about it. I think it might mean we have a special connection, though I do not know what it could be.

We move out of the pod on all fours and stretch. I am starving. What will we eat today? They can't leave the grid so it isn't like they will get away. I miss real hunting without limits. I often wonder, how can I remember activities, but not my name? Teal whispers, me too Indigo. I am hungry, and part of the hunger is the thrill of the chase. Teal and I begin to crawl, slowly searching for a scent. I breathe deeply through my nose and catch the sweet smell of sugar and copper. I am in the stream behind a small, simulated oak tree.

Teal is ready. I look around and see no one. I crouch down and see rabbit ears above a shrub about 20 meters away. I lean back and prepare to dash across the opening. The rabbit ears start to rise. It looks like a small human girl wearing a headdress with bunny ears. She looks over at me and smiles sweetly at first. Her smile keeps widening as I begin to see her razor teeth and the madness in her eyes. She isn't moving but she is wrapping herself around me anyway. Her stare pierces my soul, but I can't look away. As I begin to feel dizzy, I see the horns sprout out from behind her ears. Not again. My legs buckle underneath me as the air around me catches my weight. I feel extreme pain, and everything goes black.

"Open your eyes, Midnight!" I say this to myself every time everyone else is gone because of the extreme pain. I am in the soft peaceful stream beside my pod. I look down and see the furys eating my legs. They are ripping the flesh off my bones and devouring it. I am emotionless, so I can deal with the pain, but I have never liked the blood in the stream. I did not tell the others the only color I have ever seen the stream is red. I think it would upset them. That's why I picked Midnight. It's also a shade of red.

Best I can tell is this is hell and I am being tortured for things I have done. Stasis is where this body regrows its limbs after the furys eat them. I don't think I have ever been here for any reason other than to feed the furys. I lean over in the stream and my long dark braids fall into the crimson water. I look at the sky and count the manufactured clouds, and everything goes blue.

"What do you know, Sky?". I say this to myself every time I need to start the stasis process. I know Midnight was awake last. I know this body is incomplete. I know if I do not begin stasis in this body immediately, it will die. I know I have access to leave the grid, but if I leave the grid incomplete, I will not survive. I know the only time I am activated is when this body has nearly shut down. I need a way to wake up before the furys eat us, or a way to teach the others how to leave. I have done this so many times that I'm not really sure I can leave anymore. I try to leave a message with the steps to leave the grid for Cyan but I just end up creating a red robe. I have independent thoughts, but this body is programmed to complete only certain tasks. I feel like the only options are certain death or repeat the destructive cycle. I wonder if there is a way to reprogram this body as I push the button to close the stasis chamber, and everything goes grey.