Certainly Odd

Liam had been expecting the bills and junk mail that filled his mailbox. What he hadn’t been expecting, however, was a paper bundle, tied up with string, tucked in the middle of it all as if to be hidden. It was suspicious.

A package? For him? No. He hadn’t ordered anything for weeks. If that had been the case it would have traditionally been an Amazon package, not an old looking paper package. He tilted his chin, scanning his eyes over it for any indication of who it was for or, who it was from. It was in his mailbox after all. That should be enough for the finders-keepers rule, right?

Whatever it was it caught his focus immediately. So much so that Liam gazed half-ass at the rest of his mail, deciding quickly to throw it onto his kitchen table once inside. He could deal with those later. Even when stained with red warnings and requests for immediate response, the bills could wait. He got a package!

Impatiently, Liam scraped at the tape holding the package together like a scratch off. He could have gone at it like a child on Christmas morning - its sides were very fragile and inviting of course - but he opted not to, considering he didn’t know what was inside. Even though it felt solid, it did not promise him solidarity.

Predicted by his recent luck, the tape peeled off short and, diagonally. Liam cursed under his breath. Fine, shredding it into pieces was the only answer. Can’t say he didn't try. In a swift movement, while being careful to keep it above the table incase of debris, the paper was gone, revealing its contents.

“A book?” He questioned unenthusiastically.

Really Liam shouldn’t have been too surprised. He had let his imagination hope for something more...exciting. It wasn’t a book with a cover and title, however. It was a normal looking black book.

Dismissively, Liam removed the last bits of paper taped to the back and looked at its spine. There wasn’t anything written on it. Was it empty? Who would sneakily give him a notebook in his mail? Did he even know his postal worker? Shiftily he looked to the side. The sudden remembrance of a Christmas card he meant to send fell on him. Crap, well, that was for next season.

His spirit dwindled by his gift, Liam ruffled the packaging on the table once more. No note. Great. A mysterious black book. He hadn’t even opened it yet and he was already ready to put it down. In fact, he placed it on the table and walked straight over to his coffee pot and proceeded with his morning as if nothing were different.

It was only then that it dawned on him. This was different! Leaning against his kitchen counter, Liam scowled at the book. Who sent this? Did he even want to look inside? Human instinct says: yes.

Giving into his curiosity, he moved to sit in his chair and set his cute cat mug down. Liam rested his elbow on the table and naturally his chin took to his palm. He drummed a finger on the outside of the book, confirming that yes it was indeed a book, before flipping over the cover and looking down at its blank pages.

Until, suddenly, they were not blank.

“Liam stared down at the open book before him.” read the only sentence.

What? Liam furrowed his eyebrows. Did that sentence just write itself in front of him? Was this shit battery powered? He sat up straight in his seat, closing the book and looking at the back to see if there were any battery compartments. There was no way it was writing itself, afterall. He flipped back to the first page.

“He then promptly inspected the book for witchcraft.”

Witchcraft? Liam puffed his nostrils. Was this thing, this book, reading his thoughts now? He let the book fall flat on the table and backed up his chair. For some reason distance felt safer.

“Scared at what he saw, he backed away.”

This was certainly odd. Liam’s chair was loud against the tile when he pulled himself closer. This book was writing in real time, wasn’t it? How could it do that?

Something scary then dawned on Liam. He looked around his kitchen. Was someone watching him and writing in this book through some kind of app? Technology was the future after all. Everything looked normal and how he left it. Unless of course they used the tiny hidden cameras.

Liam stood abruptly from his chair, causing a ruckus with how close he’d been to the table. He looked at his single window. No one there. He looked down the hall towards the front door. Nobody. Perhaps he could rest easy that no one was inside the house spying on him at least. He then shot his eyes down to the table.

“Paranoia spread quickly over him. Liam jumped up from his seat and looked around.”

Staring at the words it had just written, he took a step to the left.

“He moved left first.”

He stepped right.

“Then back right.”

This was making more sense now. This was the shittiest story Liam had ever read.

He reached down and snatched the book up, bringing it close to his face to look at the writing. It was chicken scratch, nothing fancy at all. The paper felt and looked like paper. Liam tried hard to ignore the descriptive words appearing on the paper as he inspected it further.

Frustrated, he closed the book and just stared. Honestly, he didn’t know what to be thinking at this moment. Half of him wanted to inspect every outlet cover and air vent for tiny cameras but the other half of him said it was much different than a tiny camera. Was this magic?

It was definitely something to consider! A mysterious package and a book that's writing itself. That seemed like a likely duo, didn’t it? Perhaps he was spending too much time trying to justify what he was witnessing when really he should just accept it. Yeah, that was it. Magic.

Within moments Liam was standing on a step stool, bringing him to the correct height to unscrew the air vent near the table. Putting the screwdrivers handle in his mouth to use his hands to remove the very last bit, he was swearing, daring the book to try and copy his muffled words. He was going to find this damn camera and finish his morning off with ease. After of course shifting his focus to what would happen should he find a camera in the kitchen.

Unfortunately all he found was nothing. There were no cameras. Liam’s eyes lingered to the outlet at the wall across from him and thought about it just for a moment. Maybe two moments. Three moments. Then he angrily exhaled. Fine, he would give in. The likelihood of there being a camera in his kitchen was very slim after all. He also didn’t appreciate being called paranoid in the book so he decided to stop.

By the time he finished piecing the vent back together and put the step stool away, Liam found himself back in the chair. He pressed his lips in a line, watching the book and contemplating it. The idea of a magic book that wrote itself was definitely cool, he made sure to think as to not insult it, but there was still something he couldn’t wrap his mind around.

Why would a magic book want to write about him and every move he made? What kind of story was that?

Liam opened the book again. He wanted to see if it had still been writing as it was closed. Unsurprisingly, the book had now filled in a few pages of Liam’s adventure. The last sentence reading, of course,

“Liam opened the book again.”

In a way it was inspiring. If he wanted an interesting book, he should go out and do something interesting. To go outside and do something with his life. That thought was dismissed almost immediately. He didn’t have the time for that. He had real life things holding him back from going out adventuring and whatnot. Actions had consequences and he was already on the consequence side of things.

Liam looked over to the bills he had tossed to the side earlier. They were harder to ignore these days. Except a very classic question sprung to mind. What if?

He reached to the middle of the table where he had a few things and found a pen. In the corner of his eye he could see the book writing out this action. Had it caught on to what he was about to do? Was it internally sweating it out? It should’ve been.

Liam brought the pen to paper and hesitantly hovered. He was convinced somehow that he would only have one shot at this. He couldn’t aim too high or too low, it couldn’t be suspicious if it came true.

“Liam suddenly has 20,000 dollars.” He wrote.

Time seemed to stop. Could the magic work like this? Could he use it for his own gain? He held the pen in his hand at the same spot where he’d written and just waited. He wasn’t sure for what exactly but he continued to wait.

A minute or so passed and nothing more appeared in the book. If a group of people holding a giant check wanted to bust through his door any minute now it would have been greatly appreciated.

Instead his phone in his pocket dinged.

Content on giving up on creating his own magic in the book, Liam set the pen down and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it with his code and his stomach tanked.

“Wire transfer: $20,000 deposited.”

Liam dropped his phone in shock. Did that really just say what he thought that said? A wire transfer of 20,000? He sat there in shock for a little while, staring at his phone on the floor in disbelief. Then a grin spread across his face and he turned his head to look at the bills on the table. Then back to the book, which had started writing again, not seeming the slightest bit phased by what he had written. In fact, it blended into it’s penmanship almost too well.

This was perfect! A feeling of relief and excitement washed over him. He didn’t have to go out and seek adventure to have an exhilarating novel. Not when he could write his own story right here. Liam stood up and started gathering his things to leave the house, being sure to take his newest prized possession and pen. Scratch his initial schedule of spending his day off lounging around the house. He had a book to write.