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Best Futuristic Sunglasses

Between 'Blade Runner' and 'Children of Men' is where you'll find the best futuristic sunglasses for 2025.

By Roland BarnesPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Dark colors, leather, and combat boots do battle against bright colors, smooth metal, and reflective surfaces. That's because the future is the tension between climate change disaster, income inequality, and refugees; and young people who just want to be free, get loaded, and have a good time. So, check out the best futuristic sunglasses if you're planning to go out before it all comes crashing down. Oh, who are we kidding; America will be in a never ending free-fall the whole time.

What many of the best futuristic sunglasses have in common is that they have a single pane of glass constituting their eyewear. They also say the word "constituting" a lot in the future because the line between science and everyday has become so blurred. No one's even asking, "How safe are self-driving cars?" because self-driving cars have been around for so long! These actually are the best futuristic sunglasses because they're UV protected. Cataracts are a big problem in the future because so many glasses go for style over substance!

Wrap sunglasses that have a color mirror are among the best futuristic sunglasses because there's a lot of reflective surfaces in the future and a lot of designer drugs that make your eyes bloodshot. Everyone knows the best ways to get weed out of your system in future, but not how to recover from a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Visors are real big in the future because there's a lot of sparks flying all over the place thanks to rocket ships and high-speed hover bikes. That makes these among the best futuristic sunglasses. You also don't have to worry about nose pads, which is a big deal because sometimes they dig into your nose and you get an infection. These visors take care of that problem!

If your sunglasses themselves look like rocket ships then you know you've got a pair of the best futuristic sunglasses. Rocket ships are such a big part of the future that they just worm their way into everyone's unconscious minds. A lot of foods and items of clothing also look like rocket ships. That's because everyone wants off this doomed rock!

Both censorship and an absence of privacy are hallmarks of the future, so a pair of glasses that taps into both of those things ranks among the best futuristic sunglasses. You wear these because there are cameras everywhere and you don't want them to see that you've tried all worst life hacks that you should never try and regularly show up to work after buttchugging.

These are retro-futuristic glasses but they rank among the best futuristic sunglasses because in the future retro-future is still cool. They call it "vintage." In the present, we just call that "clothes."

These sunglasses look like the baddies from Space Invaders, so that means they're among the best futuristic sunglasses because it turns out that Space Invaders was a highly prescient game — mostly because almost every nation on Earth was ill-prepared for climate change and the future is Children of Men, and the form of trench warfare waged by civilians against the police is a lot like Space Invaders.

These are among the best futuristic sunglasses because they look like the blast shield of a rocket ship — something you'd put on to keep the sun from blinding you, or to make sure sparks don't blind you. There's a lot of blast offs going on in the future because people are trying to abandon the Earth. You're unlikely to be near any of that because that's for the rich, but fashion is often aspirational, and what's more aspirational than wishing you weren't going to be swallowed up in one of the many hurricanes, dust storms, or forest fires that consume America daily?!

Slotted sunglasses are among the best futuristic sunglasses because a lot of places in the future require that you protect your eyes from flying debris, but full on glasses would be too much. This strikes a healthy balance.

These are one of the best futuristic sunglasses because they let you blend in with one of the many roaming gangs of the future. And there's a lot of roaming gangs! Multiple refugee crises have led to a lot displaced families that form new kinship ties bound up in shared fashion sensibilities and a need to fulfill the most base of urges— survival, sex, food, shelter, etc. Step to the wrong crowd and you're likely to get roughed up and mugged. But throw on one of these spiked bad-boys and you can hopefully skirt by for one more hour, which is what the future is all about, really—just skirting by for one more hour.

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About the Creator

Roland Barnes

Aspiring young money millionaire. Always strive and prosper. Get rich or die trying.

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