Begrudgingly a Scorpio

My family believed in the horoscope "woo", telling me I'm strong-willed and stubborn because I'm a Scorpio. They also believed I will be hardworking, virtuous, and successful because I'm a Dragon in the Chinese zodiac. I've never questioned it until I hit the rebellious teen years. All you want is to find your way and question everything. To me, horoscopes took away individualism and I wanted nothing more than to be unique in my teen angst. (Feel free to roll your eyes at teen me.)

There are so many ways our lives and our personalities are shaped. How could a symbol be responsible for any of it? 

There's the subconscious influence of telling me these characteristics. Could I have emphasized these traits to become "true"? There's the possibility of the placebo effect. If you gave someone a vitamin and told them it's an energy pill, will they believe it? Most likely they will act energetic and tell you how great they feel. Do I embody the traits only because I was told I already possessed them? 

When people create expectations for you, often we tend to meet them. If my parents believed their Scorpio-Dragon child would excel and gave me opportunities to open those doors, then it's likely I will be successful. This backfired in that I'm not successful in their way. I'm adamantly on the path less traveled. I'm willing to make mistakes for great reward than make safe decisions. People tell me that's such a Scorpio mentality to have. 

People treat you how they perceive you. Folks love to ask, "what's your sign?" If they believe you to be a certain way due to your horoscope, do you fall into the role with what they seek from you? People often single me out for advice and believe in Scorpio people's deep emotional well. I'm not sure if I'm actually empathic or do I just hate to fall short of people's needs. Some folks will say that's a strong Dragon for you, taking on other people's problems as my own. 

°

I've been a healthy skeptic until I've met others like me. I can't deny this common thread. There are absolute "vibes" and a kindred feeling. 

I felt a pull immediately to her. Nothing is more wonderful to a middle school kid than having someone to call "best friend". Then we found out about our birthdays; how cool is it to share your birthday with your bestie?! When our moms met, we come to discover there's more to it. She and I were born in the same hospital and the same doctor delivered both of us that day. We immigrated to the United States so this hospital is 7,292 miles away.

Somehow we met in a little suburb far away from our homeland. It felt like kismet. 

Her mother dug in their hall closet to show us her baby records. My mother purchased the same baby album. In her first picture was a frilly blanket with bunnies which was the same baby blanket I had. We all had to laugh at these coincidences. Then my mom asked hers, what province of the Philippines were they from? Yep, same province. Our families knew each other. 

This continued for most of our lives, with little coincidences and ways we mirrored each other. I felt she got me, in ways I was scared for others to know me. Despite that, we drifted apart and went our separate ways in high school. I found her through Instagram and the similarities did not end in our adult lives. Our tastes and opinions seem to align still. There are still funny coincidences like how we purchased the same floors, have the same kitchen style, have a white fluffy poodle with a silly name, and have floral tattoo sleeves on our left arm. 

It leads me to question, when do things stop being a coincidence? 

When too many things are a coincidence, maybe it's not anymore. 

Are we plopped into the same elliptical life track in groups? Do we have similarities due to some pre-determined factors? Is fate real? Does (a) God create us? 

°

I moved to a new state and somehow ended up with a bunch of other Scorpios as friends. 

What does a young biracial Filipina woman have in common with a black retired Fire Chief aside from our birthday? A whole lot. Our humor and gruff outlook mirror each other. I don't have to explain myself. We get indignant about the same things. Our lives have a ton of parallels despite our backgrounds, generation, and upbringing being vastly different. 

A person messaged me to hang out based on my Yelp food reviews and it was like meeting up with an old friend. We now celebrate our birthday together. We're yin and yang so our similarities aren't obvious to others, but there's a synergy there. She's high energy, assertive, highly educated and I'm more mellow, pensive, and a free spirit about careers. When we talk, we finish each other's sentences. When we hurt, we don't have to question or over-explain. It is easy to be emotionally seen. It's so nice to find someone that balances you. 

And they're not the only ones. They just happen to be my birthday buddies. I have 18 Scorpios in my social circle. 

I fought to stand alone, but have since figured out there's more strength in identity through community. There's something special in never being truly alone, to always have someone out there who relates. I was naive to think being truly unique was a good thing. It's pretty tragic and isolating actually.

I am, despite myself, a Scorpio. 

There are logical, psychological, and scientific reasons we could probably apply to why these common threads exist. There are reasons why these folks and I connect, but the explanation has become irrelevant. I just know my life is better leaning into it than trying to prove all the ways I'm not like them.

I chose to stop being such a skeptic and believe magic doesn't have to be big or truly mystical to be real.