A Glimpse of Earth Through the World Viewers

"OK, class, listen up! Time to begin with our lesson for the day! Let's put our toys away. Blorby, that means you."

"I got nothing in my left hand or my right hand!"

"And let's see that back hand, mister! Yeah, I thought so. Action figure in your third hand. I wasn't born last millennium. OK, everyone, open your World Viewers, let's pick up where we left off. Blorby, can you tell me where that was?"

"Yes. We were last viewing the planet called Earth in the year they said was 2,026, but we obviously know is completely incorrect."

"That's right. Ooh, and it's about to get good. We're going to begin with the year 2,027. This is the year where the 'smart phones' of the human species all suddenly stop working on the same day. January 1st, the first day of their year."

"Right in the middle of their cold season."

"Don't scoff at them, Blorby. This species is doing their best. OK, let's all watch to see what happens to the species as this progresses."

All the kids in class glue their eyes to their World Viewers to watch what would unfold.

January 1st, 2027, 18:00 UTC, every smart phone on Earth turns off... screens black. Humans click and hold buttons, unleash curse words, plug in chargers... not a single smart phone turns back on.

January 1st, 2027, 19:00 UTC, several phone company web sites crash from the overload of customers attempting to contact them.

January 2nd, 2027, 08:00 UTC, no smart phone has turned back on in the entire world. Panic has stricken the planet and the news cycles are dominated by the peculiar news.

January 3rd, 2027, 21:00 UTC, record high numbers of humans dying from food poisoning occur on this single day due to their lack of ability to figure out what food is safe to eat and if food is cooked thoroughly enough. Roughly 75 million humans have died, including 3 million in the U.K., 5 million in Japan, 7 million in Russia, and 20 million in the U.S.

January 20th, 2027, 17:00 UTC, 11 different Fortune 500 companies have completely shut down to inability to operate. Another 344 million humans have died worldwide due to various reasons, all linked to their lacking of a smart phone. Among the deaths, 25 million unsure how to hail a cab versus calling a rideshare car and getting run over, 29 million missing their fix of commenting negatively on Instagram videos heading out into the world and saying negative comments aloud to strangers and getting beaten to death, and 42 million following the new trend of Laptop-Texting, carrying their computers around with them and being hit and killed by vehicles. Many vehicle-related deaths.

February 17th, 2027, 17:00 UTC, no changes seen in hitmen, grandmothers, and cheating, double-life-leading assholes due to their flip phones. Their mental health has remained the same.

April 13th, 2027, 17:00 UTC, humans that used to own smart phones have been grouped into three subspecies. Sicky-Humans, a large chunk of the population which has fallen permanently ill due to extreme boredom and violent confusion following their intense grief over the loss of the one thing that kept them going. Sicky-Humans wake up every morning and still reach for their phone so that they can scroll for several hours, cannot locate the phone, and vomit for 10-15 minutes. Sicky-Humans consume half the calories of other human subspecies, their skin has yellowed, and they are only awake for 3-4 hours a day. Another subspecies is Smarty-Humans who have replaced their need for their smart phones with books. They've developed clean energy companies saving the planet, cured cancer, and solved the Lost Socks in the Dryer Crisis with an advanced Fabric Locator System. The third subspecies is Tree-Humans. These humans decided that if they couldn't have smart phones, they didn't want any technology, and went to live among the trees. Tree-Humans that lived in warmer climates near the equator managed to thrive, but every Tree-Human living beyond the lines of latitude of 40 degrees north and south went extinct within the first year.

March 11th, 2028, 18:00 UTC, seeing as how the tech giants could now only listen to users' conversations through their computers at home and not while they were on the go, they weren't able to push as many unnecessary products on the humans and most companies saw their profits and stocks dip considerably. As a result, the average human saw an increase of 12% of their own income staying in their bank accounts.

August 28th, 2028, 07:00 UTC, reports show that body dysmorphia is down 89% worldwide.

October 2nd, 2029, 16:00 UTC, a human civil war is declared in the United States. Sicky-Humans want to destroy all Smarty-Humans because they believe they have learned how to turn the smart phones back on but won't. Smarty-Humans deny these allegations. The civil war is set to commence on October 4th, 2029, at 19:00 UTC.

October 4th, 2029, 21:00 UTC, the Sicky-Humans are unable to read maps and cannot find the proposed battleground. The civil war is postponed.

October 20th, 2029, 15:00 UTC, the civil war is called off.

June 10th, 2030, 17:00 UTC, dozens of Fortune 500 companies declare bankruptcy due to lack of clientele purchasing their products.

September 16th, 2031, 18:00 UTC, the numbers show that 1.4 billion humans have perished in various ways since the day the smart phones turned off.

May 12th, 2032, 16:00 UTC, every animal that was on the endangered species list is now off the list.

July 27th, 2035, 09:00 UTC, the hole in the Ozone layer has completely closed up.

November 24th, 2038, 15:00 UTC, one species has been added back to the endangered species list. Sicky-Humans. Their numbers have dwindled below 10% of their original numbers.

June 30th, 2042, 14:00 UTC, global warming is declared to no longer be a threat. Polar ice caps are in pristine condition, the oceans are acceptable temperatures, the planet just had it's coolest June in 30 years.

February 4th, 2048, 16:00 UTC, an art exhibit about smart phones is displayed at the Guggenheim by a Dutch artist. It largely receives rave reviews, with small pockets of the art world incensed.

February 6th, 2048, 13:00 UTC, a group of three Sicky-Humans attempt to go to the Dutch artist's home to murder him, but they wind up at Neverland, a Peter Pan theme park. They are confused beyond belief, and just begin to work at the theme park.

December 9th, 2048, 11:00 UTC, the trend of Laptop-Texting had made a comeback but had now resulted in another 30 million deaths in the year 2048 alone.

March 22nd, 2049, 15:00 UTC, Laptop-Texting is now a worldwide crime.

February 6th, 2050, 13:00 UTC, exactly two years after the would-be killers of the Dutch artist started their new jobs at Neverland, they all receive promotions to assistant managers.

February 6th, 2053, 13:00 UTC, exactly five years after the would-be killers of the Dutch artist started their new jobs at Neverland, a party is thrown for their five-year anniversary. In lieu of cake, and in an attempt to be healthier, the three try a vegetable for the first time ever. Unaware of how much chewing goes into consuming a piece of broccoli, the three all choke and die, and as the last remaining Sicky-Humans, this marks the extinction of the subspecies as a whole.

February 6th, 2053, 13:01 UTC, the human population on Earth is now about 880 million, roughly 80 million being Tree-Humans, and the other 800 million being Smarty-Humans.

April 22nd, 2055, 11:00 UTC, the Reforestation project commences in Brazil, beginning to restore a little-known, but once majestic rainforest called the Amazon-Streaming-And-Next-Day-Delivery Rainforest.

July 11th, 2056, 15:00 UTC, an Oklahoma man says to his family, "I got a great picture of an Audubon's Warbler." And not one of his kids asks, "On your phone?"

October 16th, 2057, 16:00 UTC, numbers show that human posture is nearly perfect, and the Smart-Phone-Hump that humans used to get from hours of texting has completely vanished. Doctors throw away every last pill of Anti-Humpia. Nurses do The Humpty-Hump Dance to celebrate in hospitals all across the world. It's an incredible sight to witness. It would've gone viral but... nothing goes viral anymore... other than people acquiring illnesses from microscopic pathogens.

September 27th, 2058, 15:00 UTC, a politician tries to stoke division as part of his campaign. He makes racist claims about citizens of his very country with no evidence in hopes of sending potential voters into a frenzy. He gets booed off the small stage he stands on. None of this is captured. No one but the 232 people in attendance even hear about it. Everyone forgets about this man. He receives 0 votes in whatever election he ran in. We don't even have his name... because he doesn't matter.

January 1st, 2059, 18:00 UTC, it's been 32 years since the smart phones all turned off. Crime rates of the world have reduced to 0.2% of what they once were. Humans live, on average, 25% longer. The air is cleaner. Pollution is a word only used in fantasy novels. Humans and animals coexist on planet Earth with more harmony than ever before.

"So, as you can see, the smart phone is clearly not the reason for so many issues on Earth, but once it was shut down, it started a chain reaction. The planet was put in better shape, but many people died. Was this largely good? Was it largely bad? Any questions from anyone?"

The kids are all wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Blorby raises his hand.

"Yes, Blorby?"

"So, those guys that wanted to kill the Dutch artist, they wound up in Neverland because the artist, being Dutch, would've lived in the Netherlands, and they were, what, stupid?"

"That's exactly right, Blorby."