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Why Being a Guy is so Weird

If you look too closely, the male body is actually really weird and full of surprises! Check out today's shocking new story to learn all about the craziest things you never knew about the male body.

By Jayveer ValaPublished 3 months ago 8 min read
Why Being a Guy is so Weird

Could the male body get any weirder? Yes. It. Can. From farts to malfunctioning penises, these are going to be some of the weirdest facts about the male body you’ve ever heard. You could probably guess that the male body is more flatulent than the female body. But did you know certain studies have actually quantified that men fart more than women? The reasons for this are crazy. At a basic level, this may just have to do with males being immature and finding farts funny, but there could be a biological reason for it as well.

Some researchers suggest that males are more flatulent because of their diets, or that they tend to eat faster than females. Others think men fart more because their body has a larger gastrointestinal tract than the female body does. It could also be due to the amount of air that men swallow while eating that may influence their abundance of flatulence. Really, doctors aren’t quite sure why men fart more often than women, but in a crowded room, this fact can get really smelly. However, speaking of smelly, even though men tend to fart more than women, they are not the ones with the smelliest farts. In a study conducted by gastroenterologist Michael Levitt, it was found that female flatulence is the smellier of the two sexes. This suggests that a male’s fart may contain less sulfur molecules than their female equivalent. This is what gives farts their unpleasant smell. The penis is a weird organ all by itself, but there are aspects of the male reproductive system that are not only weird, but a bit unbelievable. Take erections for instance. One of the molecules associated with causing the penis to fill with blood is nitric oxide. It does this by relaxing certain muscles in the groin and increasing arterial blood flow into the penis. This is weird because nitric oxide works similarly to nitrous oxide, which is used by doctors as an anesthetic.

So, the male body causes the penis muscles to relax and go to sleep similar to the way a dentist uses nitrous oxide to make their patient do the same thing. It may seem odd to relate dental surgery to getting an erection, but the molecules used in both actually serve similar purposes. Speaking of oral, the male body seems to have a weird preference to this form of sex. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that surveyed 1,661 men about their penis size discovered something really strange. First things first, the study found the average penis length of a human male is somewhere between 5 and 5.5 inches. The smallest in the study was 1.57 inches long, while the largest was 10.23 inches long. The penis can be all sorts of different shapes, which makes this part of the male body one of the stranger ones. But there are several diseases associated with this organ that can be cause for alarm. Erectile dysfunction is not necessarily harmful, but it can be an indicator of a much bigger problem in the male body. Life-threatening conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar levels may all be a cause of erectile dysfunction. And since these can all be life-threatening, it is always good for a male to check with their doctor if they are experiencing problems down there.

The malfunctioning penis may seem unrelated to these other conditions, but everything is connected in the body. Doctors have found correlations between erectile dysfunction and diabetes as well. And although we often think of ED as being a problem for elderly men, that is not always true. Around 30 million men of different ages in the United States alone suffer from erectile dysfunction. But this isn’t the only disease that is unique to the male reproductive organs. Some men suffer from Peyronie’s disease which causes plaque and tissue build-up around the penis. This can make the penis curve in even more surprising ways. However, the build-up of tissue can also make erections incredibly painful. And if the pain wasn’t enough, Peyronie’s disease can also cause the penis to become less flexible and shorter. It normally occurs as a result of injuries to the penis. One thing that may be even weird than the penis itself is the cremaster muscles. These muscles cause the testicles to move up and down. This is done so that the testes can be pulled closer to the body when they get too cold. The crazy part is, these muscles can be triggered involuntarily just by the right touch to the leg. If a man is stroked along their upper thigh, the cremaster muscles contract causing the testicles to move. There is no positive or negative effect to this action; it is just a reflex, like when the doctor hits the area below your kneecap. Thankfully doctors do not check a male’s reflexes by stroking their leg and observing the cremaster muscles in action as that would be a little weird. And speaking of testicles, there is a reason why such important structures are outside of the male body.

There is a certain cost-to-benefit ratio when it comes to the location of the testes. On the one hand, they are the part of the body that produces sperm, which allows the male to reproduce. This means that they should be protected at all costs. On the other hand, testicles need to remain at a certain temperature in order to produce healthy, viable sperm. The internal temperature of the body is not conducive to this process. Therefore, the testes are outside of the body and whenever they need to be warmed up the cremaster muscles tense, leading to the the testicles being pulled closer to the groin. Sperm itself is full of weird facts, but ejaculation of the substance from the body is even weirder. In each ejaculation, there are around 100 million sperm. That is a huge number. If you were to count to 100 million without any breaks or sleep, it would take you over 3 years. And all of that sperm is forced out a thin tube at high speed. “How fast are the sperm blasted out of the male when he ejaculates?” you may ask. The answer is a staggering 28 miles per hour. That is faster than the speed limit in many residential neighborhoods. This means that every time a male ejaculates his sperm could receive a speeding ticket. Obviously, that would never happen, but it is still pretty crazy to think about. When a man is having sex and he ejaculates, his sperm is being shot into his partner at the top speed of a running bull elephant. Granted the sperm are much smaller than an elephant, but it is still nuts. Once the sperm are ejaculated, their speed slows down almost instantaneously and they continue their journey through the female reproductive system.

It is pretty much guaranteed that all 100 million will die as only one can fertilize the female’s egg, and even that doesn’t always happen. The time it takes from ejaculation to when it reaches the egg can be anywhere from 30 minutes to 24 hours. Luckily, the male body can produce around 1,500 sperm a second, so even after shooting 100 million of them out during ejaculation, it only takes a relatively short amount of time for the body to create enough sperm to go again. Oftentimes we think of the male body as being strong, but it is weird how vulnerable it can be to certain types of injuries. On average, men get hernias more often than women, and there is a good reason for this. There is a weak spot in the male body located near the inguinal ring. This is the entrance to where the intestines are located in the body. When too much pressure is applied to a male’s midsection it can cause fat or part of the small intestine to pop out of the weak spot. When this happens, a bulge in the groin area occurs, which is what a hernia is. Women also have an inguinal ring, it is just stronger and not as large as in the male. This is why on average the male body is more prone to getting hernias than the female body. As a side note, most hernias are caused by lifting heavy objects and putting a lot of strain on the midsection of the body. However, if a male pushes too hard while trying to relieve himself on the toilet, the force of the muscle contractions can also cause a hernia. So, if you are a male, don’t push too hard when going number two. Your inguinal ring will thank you.

Moving away from the groin and midsection of the male body there are some weird things happening around the head. Research suggests that certain proportions in the male face are important to what we perceive as a masculine appearance. Most men have bigger jawbones and cheeks than females. These are both attributes that contribute to the masculine look of the male face. However, there is a less obvious, and much stranger, feature that may have some connection to masculinity. Males tend to have thicker eyebrows than females. It is kind of crazy that men’s bushy eyebrows are one of the features we attribute to masculinity. The female features of having higher, thinner, eyebrows are considered to be more feminine even on a male face. In fact, a study published in Frontiers of Psychology found that three main characteristics attributed to masculinity are eyebrow thickness, jawbone prominence, and face height.

This is not to say that there aren’t male bodies that have thin eyebrows, unpronounced cheeks, or a weak jawline, just that on average the male body has more of these masculine features than the female body does. This brings us to an important point. Although all humans belong to the same species and are biologically much similar than they are different, each male body is unique and weird in its own way.

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About the Creator

Jayveer Vala

I write.

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