UNDEFINED

Tonight, June 29th, 2021, I have absolutely, nowhere to go. I'm usually always involved in something. I'm considered, the man around town. Heck, my friends, and acquaintances, nicknamed me Johnny Be-Good. Because I love the ladies and the ladies' love me. Corny old sayin', but oh-so-true. My real name is Joseph Chef Mackling. I know, even my name is corny. Things opened back up months ago, but I still feel stuck. I don't want to hang out at house parties, in bars and clubs like I used to. Nor take trips with some of my boys and some women too, if you catch my drift.

I just sit here and remember how much fun life really was without all the rules and restrictions surrounding the Corona Virus. Now, I sit here and wonder about how many hearts I've broken. With the number I came up with, let alone just with one night stands, makes me wonder... If marriage is in the cards for me. Or did God see me as an eternal bachelor. I'm a Real Estate Broker, but I started my own agency. I'm quite used to working from home. I get a percentage of every sale, no matter if I go into the office, out in the field, or not. I also, have plenty of stocks, bonds, and dividends.

Let's just say I'm well off for a 30-year-old, who didn't even graduate college. I went, it wasn't for me. I was 17 years old, when I started college right after High School in 2009. Withdrew from any further college learning, right after my 18th birthday in 2010. Which is on May 2nd, just in case you were asking, when is my birthday? I got a real estate license at 19 years old, then things got rocky. At 24 years old, open my company, got investors, paid them back in full. Next, start investing and watch my company take off and my money grew. I always give back to charity. I even thought about starting one, but I don't want the added responsibility as of now. Especially, when I've also been thinking of finding me a woman to marry and start a family.

My blood relatives, the family I way born into; lives miles away, in a different state. Orono, Maine to be exact and not too many black people live there. I only see them once or twice a year. I moved to Phoenix, AZ, when I dropped out of college. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention I was going to school to become a Neurologist. Well, I guess I have my family of friends for now. Still, I remember, before 2020. When meeting a woman did not make me want to, run because I could protect myself with a rubber. Now, there's that, plus, the added worry of Covid-19. I'm not trying to have sex with a mask on. I guess, I must ask for proof of vaccination or a negative test on the 1st date. Is that weird? Or will that be the new norm? I might as well ask for other tests as well, huh... While I'm at it.

2015, 23-year-old me; It was just the year before my agency really took off, but months before my 23rd birthday, the February, tragedy struck. My little brother died, Benzy we called him. His name was Benjamin Mackling. He had got shot, hanging out with stupid teenagers doing idiot things. He was a good kid; he was 16 years old when he died. Yes, things like that happens in Maine, not a lot though. That year, Maine had passed a gun law allowing its residents to carry loaded concealed handguns in public, without a permit. So, my brother and a few of his friends, some were 18 and in the armed forces. They were legally of age to carry under those conditions. Back to it, they were hanging out and decided to get drunk and shoot off some rounds. I'm assuming because the few there were in the armed forces had to get back to base or be deployed in a few days after the incident occurred.

What they were shooting at exactly, I don't recall. All I know is that one of the bullets ricocheted and hit my baby brother, right in the head. He was on life support for almost 2 months. Nothing got better, he got worse and that's when mom and my stepfather, who adopted me and my 2 older siblings because our biological father had died, couldn't take it anymore. They made the call to pull the plug. Benzy, has a twin. My sister Billy, that's not her nickname either. Those two and my baby sister Jackie, are my stepfather’s, only biological children. My mom and stepfather had another child, but he was born stillbirth. There's now 5 of us. My stepfather lost it after that, but eventually, he pulled himself together. My mom, told him, they still had 2 children to get out of high school. They had to be strong for them but tears over the loss of their son will never stop, it will always come.

I stayed up there in Maine until well after my birthday. My family needed me and my support. When I went back home to Phoenix, I didn't really think about much. I used to talk to my baby brother more than my other siblings. I grind harder than ever. Made new and more connections and dated 2 beautiful women at the same time, Sasha, and Chasity. I started dating both women the previous year. I told them both why I needed to go to Maine. When I got back, I grew closer to both women and loved them both.

I could never choose. I also started cheating on them both. I've never really had a serious relationship, and there I was with two. Most men, do drugs and things of that sort, in order to cope. I found myself knee deep in women, other than the two I loved. I enjoyed every moment but a regret hurting them both. They found out about one another on Christmas day that year. I went back home to Maine for the holidays, I forgot to tell the two of them, I had left town. On Christmas morning, they both showed up to my apartment building. They were at my door, then they started talking and asking each other direct questions. I got a video call for Sasha that afternoon, I met her before Chasity. She was in bed naked, looking sexy as ever.

I said, "Hey, Sasha baby. Sorry, I forgot to let you know that I was going out of town, when I spoke to you yesterday. I miss you and love you!" Sasha said, " That's alright babe, we love you too". Sasha turned the camera on Chasity who was laying in between her legs, licking her pussy. I was shocked, turned on and confused. Chasity raised her head and said, " Yeah, love you too babe", then her head went back where she removed it from. I could hear, the sounds of, her delectable tongue licking and suckling Sasha's sweet and delicious clit. Sasha started moaning. Then said, "We've kept each other company since this morning. We found out about each other, showing up at your place at the same time to surprise you. So, we obviously, asked questions, and talk about it. We both were horny and are both into women. Naturally, we decided to fuck because she was so hot and she thought the same about me, didn't miss you though."

She moaned, bite her bottom lip, pulled her left breast to her mouth, and sucked on her nipple. She continued, "We suspect you hadn't told us that you were going out of town for the holiday's because you probably have another woman up there in Maine, that you hooked up with during your last visit for you brother. You don't have to worry about us anymore. I got her and she got me". She put the camera on Chasity, and I watched as the women I loved fuck without me. They switched places. Now Chasity had the phone and Sasha was licking, suckling, and fingering Chasity's pussy.

My dick was so hard it hurt watching them. What Chasity said next, I would never forget, it hurt me even more. " Babe, we love you and you cheated us, cheated yourself in the process. If you would have been honest, you would have known that Sasha and I both are into women. The three of us could have had a throuple. But you choose to.... (She moaned so loudly and sexy, that I came. I wasn't masturbating) play us instead. You played yourself. I'll keep her if she wants me." Sasha moaned," Mmmm, as good as your pussy tastes… I'll keep you babe and give you, my love." The phone hung up. I cried for months but that didn't stop me from fucking strangers and grinding for my business to get off the ground.

I never saw or spoke to the two of them again. They had added pictures of each other and changed their relationship status to one another on every social media account they had. I'm sure they felt like I had watched them enough because they block my number Christmas day, but not on social media entirely. Only the Dm's were blocked. Until, at the end of January 2016, that's when they block my accounts. I never really saw them after that. I didn't bother to make any spy accounts because I had too much life to live and hurt them enough. Their payback hurt just as much, but I can’t complain

They were the only two people I really talked to, after my brother died. I had friends and things of that nature of course, but not like them. I was totally honest and open with both women, just not about being in a relationship with them simultaneously. I ultimately, regret that decision. Not just because I found out that I could have been with them both without the secrets. But because I genuinely loved and still love Sasha and Chasity. Yet life goes on. In 2016, things picked up a lot for me. I'm not sure if it was due to not being in any loving romantic relationships. Or just no longer giving a fuck, to be open to love again because I didn't want to hurt anyone else, nor be hurt again. I did hang out with my friends more though. Like I said before, I picked up on my grind a bit harder, I know that factors in. I do still miss loving on them, in so many ways till this day.

To be continued...