Transgender & Sex Positive

*They is used as a singular pronoun.

To introduce myself, I am a queer, polyamorous, trans man.

What I specifically mean when I say I’m a trans man is that I have been transitioning to be seen as more male by others.

As a trans man, I was never this open to sex and body positivity. I had terrible gender/body dysphoria and hated everything about myself. I still don’t love everything about myself, but I have learned to live in peace with whatever I have to work with.

Shortly after turning eighteen I took initiative and stopped hiding my body and what I craved for the most with human bonds.

I was terrified of what other people would think about me, and before beginning my medical transition I had zero confidence. I began on a steady dose of testosterone, got on PREP (HIV prevention), and Depo Provera (birth control). As I began looking up things I liked and getting more comfortable in my own skin, I finally made a few accounts on hookup/dating apps.

With further help and encouragement of a wonderful friend who knew how to navigate the sex scene better, I learned how to take control. I took control of my body, how I allowed others to view me, and who I allowed to get close and intimate with.

Things happened all so fast, in a matter of months or nearly a year I had explored many kinks with many people. I went to my first arcade, sex club, dungeon party, and bathhouse. They all vary in the types of people that go there and they all vary in the level of discreteness that you can play.

I also found people to explore with on some hookup apps and social media.

I am lucky enough to live in an area that is more open about sexuality and identities. I have had small instances of rejection, but none where I feared for my safety.

People I’ve met showed me that I liked being tied up with my arms behind my back and my legs held down apart. I didn’t know that being choked and experiencing pain was a big release of pleasure. With each second that I was restricted I felt my body tingle and numb up, but in a good way because it made it easier to accept more pain.

I’m well versed and like to play both ends of the game. One side of me craves to be made to feel small and be tortured to pain-inducing lengths. I want to feel my body numb and wince in a confusion of pain and pleasure. My other side craves to unleash the animal in me, bite you and grab your neck until I see you cry. I want to tie you up and whip your body until I see how red and purple it gets, followed by me holding you and kissing those tender spots.

There was a dungeon party I attended where I felt my limits in pain handling were pushed far and wide. I was held and bent over, I closed my eyes and as soon as I open them I felt the hard thud. My ass was instantly red and I half screamed half moaned out. I was thrown into the cuddle pit to recover. This was followed by soft caresses and kisses from total strangers who later became friends. Once recovered, for a few minutes, I was laid down on the comfiest of beds. I looked to my right and saw the lineup of whips, wooden paddles, canes, and all kinds of floggers. Five minutes and a few drops of blood later I felt like I was on another level of numb.

The numb feeling wasn’t just from the excruciating pain I was in, but a numbness to everything around me. I had escaped away from reality and sat in my own bubble. Nothing from the outside world can stress me out or touch me at this point. This is why I like pain and pleasure exchanges.

If you ever get curious enough, go ahead and give it a try. Having an orgasm from the pain you’re in is out of this world. Your body starts to shake, your muscles begin to contract, and you feel a rush of ecstasy going throughout. Your mind goes into a trance as you feel how good it all is, then you stop and feel all your energy draining. As you begin to come back to reality you will begin to feel the pain coming back as well. You will also feel how much more sensitive your parts get. If you keep on going you will only experience more pain, but it will be so good that you won’t want it to stop.

As the days go on and I am feeling more dominant, I like to connect with people willing to let me do things to them, some of those things unmentionable for this writing (I’ll save it for another). I have had the pleasure to meet someone so submissive to pain that they nearly beg for it. I love getting into the dominant sadist role and humiliating my willing submissive. I’ll take my time to touch their body and tease them. I make them feel our skin make contact slowly and caress their every curve, never missing the most sensitive spots.

Before fully diving into it, we establish what is off-limits to know when to stop. This is very important as we can both get hurt during this high-impact play. I make it a priority to make sure we both have fun and enjoy what we do, and communication is important for that.

Once aroused enough, the toys come out. They become mine and what I say goes. I’ll twirl the whip along their back and move in down to their soft ass. Make them feel how caring and attentive to detail I am. Then in one swift motion, I pull back and release it down to sting them with full force.

“AAAAHHH,” they scream out.

I’ll make sure to linger the whip along their red skin once more as I pick my next spot to mark as my target. Bam! I like to pick up speed after a few hits. The constant moans and small screams just turn me on more.

I’m ready to kiss all over their red body and feel how aroused they have become. I’m not done yet; I’m just slowing down to move the focus of the pain elsewhere. I use my hand this time and give a hard smack right onto their most sensitive of body parts. If done right, hurting someone’s genitals can be a very orgasm-inducing experience for some. This time they don’t see it coming and scream out louder than before, followed by a low moan.

Seeing and hearing them scream urges me to push into them and make them orgasm as I do it. I keep going; I didn’t do it to make them orgasm, they are here for my pleasure. I will take them and keep going until I feel satisfied. They are mine tonight, and I’m the one who says when we can stop.

I love seeing teary and red eyes once I’m done using someone. Their soft eyes looking up at me pleased with their experience as I give them a sly smile. Knowing well that I pushed their limits farther today as we both enjoy the high levels of ecstasy that come from the scene.

The act of making someone feel yours and knowing they’re being completely vulnerable is both sweet and exciting. The mutual feelings of trust and deep connection through exchanged kisses and touches fulfill my caring side. This is the part that makes playing so rough enjoyable. I love the connection I can share with someone who enjoys all the aspects of it as well. The aftercare is where all the love is more prominent.

All naughtiness aside, I do take sexual health very seriously. When preparing to play, during, and after. As a trans man and not, I am always on top of what my needs are to stay healthy. I will make sure I communicate enough with people to set boundaries and rules. I get tested regularly and always play safe with other people. This is very important, as I know that LGBT people have a higher risk of STIs and more.

I am always encouraging people I talk to, to be open and try out whatever their naughty mind thinks about. You may be surprised at what you really like. You may find that you really enjoy being spanked by a man with a pussy while he fucks you on the couch. You may find that you simply like making out after some slow and gentle sex in bed. Whatever it is, embrace it and be unapologetic about it. There’s no shame in liking sex and a lot of it!