Now before I begin let my clarify a few things. I'm not shaming women who love sex because that's normal. I'm simply sharing my crazy stories from a time in my life where my only source of comfort was sex.
Now let's begin:
The Threesome Gone Wrong
Okay, so I was dating this guy named Ronald (nope, not his real name) and he had complex. A short guy complex. What is that you might ask?
Well he felt he had to consisting prove himself to others to make up for his lack of height. He was 5'4'' and hated it. I myself couldn't care less, but I digress. Since he was always trying to prove himself to be manly man his biggest thing was to have a threesome. He didn't care who it was with as long as they had real boobs and a vagina. I was interested in anything that kept him with me so I agreed. We searched for months online for girls who would not only find me attractive but him as well. It got to the point where he was becoming desperate and I was becoming annoyed.
We decided to search through our friends next. His friend Sarah was borderline lesbian, but had some bisexual tendencies. So we hit her up and asked her if she would be interested. I never bothered to look at her pictures because at this point I just wanted to get it over with. She was thrilled when she saw me (apparently, thick women were her type) and agreed to meet up.
We went out for drinks and food at the hotel bar. It was too crowded so we left within 20 minutes. We booked a hotel room and waited. And waited. And waited.
After three hours we came to the conclusion we were getting stood up. Ronald decided to go out to buy some drinks for us to wash off the disappointment of the night. He left the hotel room for about 15 minutes when Sarah knocked on the door.
"I'm here open the door," she said from the other side.
I was shocked that she came at all. I opened the door and there she was with bottle of wine in hand.
"Wow thanks," I greeted as I let her in.
I went to text Ronald and she expressed how she saw him and he was coming up shortly.
We began to chat and drink while waiting for Ronald to return.
20 minutes passed.
"You sure you saw him when you came in?" I slurred my words from the utter intoxication the wine was having on me.
"Yes, silly. Now why don't we just move to the bed and wait for him," she purred, pulling me towards the king size bed we payed double for.
I, of course, being drunk, agreed and let her take the lead.
It wasn't until I heard banging after my second orgasm that I realized Ronald was still missing.
I got up from the bed a threw a robe on to open the door.
There stood Ronald and some female I had never seen before.
"Babe?" I questioned slowly "Who's that?"
"This is Sarah," he said as he walked into room looking confused
"Wait if that's Sarah then who's..." I turned over to the fake Sarah who was pulling up her jeans.
The fake Sarah began to laugh "You guys really shouldn't talk about your business in a crowded bar for all to hear."
"Who the hell are you?!" Ronald shouted realizing she was half naked.
"The girl who just fucked your girlfriend. I heard you guys speaking about this stupid threesome and how the girl was a no-show. Your girlfriend is hot and I was horny."
The shock was unmistakable on my face as the "fake Sarah" strolled past me.
She leaned in to kiss my cheek and handed me a paper, "Call me if you get tired of this asshole."
And that was that. The real Sarah left shortly after because because it was too messy for her to deal with. Ronald, on the other hand, was turned on by the fact I had sex with a girl and wanted to have sex all while I explained, in detail, what we did.
That's a man for you.
Well there's one of the many stories I have.
Love you guys! Muah!