The school

The day I got accepted in a ballet school was the start of a dream coming true, but it was also the day my life fell apart and I ended up alone. What a great way to spend my 18th birthday, ultimately getting the best gift ever as well as losing what made me happy before it. I had to cut out a lot of childhood luxury's throughout my life to get to this, the auditions and finally my acceptance letter. My mother was did not approve of this when she realised the sacrifices were growing as I improved. She thought I was paying to high a price for a dream that took years to build but can shatter any moment. And who knows maybe there is true to that, but I want to try with every ounce of strength I have. I am willing to risk it all to see if I make it or break.

The sun shone brighter on me all day as if it was blessing me with its warmth and happiness. I beelined down the school hallway to Beth, bursting to share my news. My excitement could not be contained as I jumped up and down showing her my welcome catalogue from my acceptance pack. She greeted me with a smile and took it from me to inspect it. Her critical eye scanned as quickly as her smile vanished, which turned mine into frown. She slammed it back into my chest and stalked off away from me, I chased after her full of confusion. We ended up in the girls bathroom to have this out, "Beth what's up you know what this is?". She dumped her bag on the sinks staring me down through the mirrors, "Yes I know what it is, its you breaking every promise you made". I stared back "I don't understand". She scraped her stuff back into her bag leaving out her mascara, applying it with such anger. I went to reach out to touch her wanting to pled a connection, she shrugged away from me. "Do not touch me, just hurry up and jump on your train and disappear" she shouted while pushing past me leaving me to cry in the bathroom.

My next punch that day came from Harvey in the cafeteria, I told him about the news. I did not even get to the part of actually telling him the news before he closed me down. I swallowed back more tears on the brink of flooding the table, I did not realise I would hurt so many. I took the silent treatment as a cue to just leave but I was not sure where to go. I skipped lunch and instead wandered down the hallways, reminiscing about how good some times were. I ended up in Mr Black's office while he was marking some assignments. He Looked up after a few minuets of me letting some tears fall on my cheeks, he immediately gestured me in and closed the door. I sat in the chair sobbing pouring it all out, he sat and listened mummering comforting phrases. When it finally all dried up I felt so much lighter but I still had no answers to why it turned out like this.

Mr Black was as comforting as he could be trying to tell me it was a great achievement and once in a life time opportunity I had. Pretty much every thing I needed to hear and consolidated me. Which amongst all that turmoil of emotion made me do something I knew was so stupid for a teenager to do. Our lips connected and melted in perfect sync, our hands intertwined and the moment flowed. He lifted me to his desk to perch me upon brushing my skirt up with such ease its like it was on fire burning away. His touch getting higher up my thigh made me lose my sense of reasoning. I tilted my head back giving him free rein to explore my neck. I ran my hands up his shirt tracing the buttons, unclasping them with eagerness. His chest was smooth and chiselled, I reached his neck and gripped. I though I had gripped to hard as he pushed me back, the blissful moment was over all to fast. Again I was thrown into a storm of confusion as he quickly fastened up his buttons. He pulled me off the desk and tossed my bag at me and pushed me out the room. The door slammed and locked behind me, and I felt nothing but shame and coldness on my skin.