The Politics of Hygiene

Contrary to popular belief, I have never particularly enjoyed being mean or critical of others; unfortunately for me, I fell into a management position where I have to call people out. That mixed with aging and declining patience for nonsense have made me a person that I never thought - and certainly never hoped - I'd become. But in my twenties, I was still young and naive, still tried to be the person that was kind and demure no matter what.

In the midst of a particularly long dry spell in the fall of 2016, I started talking to a guy via Facebook Messenger. He wasn't particularly attractive - with an elongated face, pale blue eyes, and hair that was an undesirable washed out copper color. His name was Nick and he worked as a server at a steakhouse in Ann Arbor. I figured that since were in the same line of work, we could exchange horror stories about customers and restaurants in general, but I quickly learned that we were completely opposite sides of the fence when it came to that. Nick felt that as a server it was his job to see that his customer's needs were met and do his utmost best to ensure that they had a wonderful dining experience; I, on the other hand, feel like customers - on the whole - are entitled, arrogant pricks desperately in need of a reality check. Eating at a restaurant isn't a need, it's a treat, and spending money at an establishment doesn't entitle a customer to treat a worker like shit beneath their shoes. As far as I'm concerned, if you come in and treat me with respect, we'll be fine; if you come in and act condescending or rude - or exceptionally picky - then you need to be banned and rehabilitated on how to act in public. That's just me.

Since Nick lived almost two hours south of me - and I was not one to hop in the car and drive - I figured that we could maintain a mild flirtation online - until something better came along - but that we would never actually meet in person. I was wrong there, much to my immediate chagrin.

One particular fall Saturday, I was lounging around before work when Nick messaged me and said that he would in my area for a bit before he headed over to CMU in Mount Pleasant to watch a football game. Apparently, he'd graduated from CMU and had played something called the contrabassoon in the band. He said that he was interested in meeting me, but since I was living at my grandma's house and I knew that my uncle would lose his mind if I had a guy over, I told him if he wanted to see me, I could go into work early and we could meet there. I figured it was a safe place - in case he was a Jeffrey Dahmer type - and it would be a brief interaction because I'd have to go to work.

I was in the back room folding boxes - I was nervous - when Ryland (before I had a crush on him) came back and told me that there was a guy there to see me. As I walked up front to meet Nick, I was disappointed that he was not any more attractive in person, but he was someone who saw something in me and had gone out of his way to come meet me. I waved and led him back to the box folding table so that we could have some privacy. Even though he was standing a reasonable distance away, I could smell a distinct odor coming from him - not body odor particularly, but a mothball smell? As he came closer, I noticed that his teeth were all yellow, clearly not being taken care of at all.

We made small talk for a while before he suggested we take a drive somewhere so he could suck my dick. I wasn't completely into it, but I figured that since I was in a dating desert it would be insane for me to turn down free head. I told him that I wasn't sure where we could go where we wouldn't get caught, but my manager told us that there was a spot to park at the end of Cody Estey Road where we could do whatever we wanted without being disturbed. I was hesitant, since it was early afternoon on a weekend, but Josh insisted that we would be fine.

Nick's car was messy - far messier than mine; I couldn't help but notice that whatever the smell I was picking up on before was worse in the car. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant smell, but it was weird; I was too polite to ask him about it, afraid I'd offend him.

It was a short drive to Cody Estey Road. Before I knew it, we were parked in a small parking lot, and he was looking over at me with lust in his eyes. He undid his seatbelt and leaned over onto my side; I stiffened, worried that he was going to try to kiss me. I did not want to swap spit with anyone; let alone someone whose teeth were the color of corn. I heaved a sigh of relief when he bypassed my mouth and, as his hands undid my jeans and pulled my dick out, he put his head down in my lap. His mouth was warm, but I was too nervous, constantly looking around to make sure no one was near that could see what we were doing; it was broad daylight on a Saturday morning in a small town, the chances of us not being disturbed seemed highly unlikely.

I tried to close my eyes and focus on what his mouth was doing to me, but I wasn't able to keep my eyes closed, I couldn't quiet my mind. As I popped my eyes open and scanned our surroundings again, I watched in panic as a truck drove by and then slammed to a stop. I could see an older man behind the wheel, staring at us, dumbfounded.

"Hey," I gasped, "that guy is watching us. We have to stop."

Nick raised his head and glanced at the guy. "It's fine. Forget about him."

"I don't want to go to jail or end up on a sex offender registry!" I cried, hating how pathetic and hysterical I sounded.

"Even if he calls the cops, the most they'll do is tell us to leave."

I didn't necessarily believe Nick. We were committing a sex act in broad daylight in a public place; wasn't that illegal? I didn't want the gossip around town to be that I was a degenerate that fornicated with guys in public areas.

After what felt like a long time, but was probably only a minute or so, the guy in the truck turned away and drove off, disappearing back the way that he had come, probably going to get the police. I knew that Nick wasn't looking to stop; he was breathing heavily, firmly in the grasp of lust. I didn't want to whine and make him take me back, so I decided to hurry up and try to cum as quickly as possible.

As he sucked me, I reached over and undid the front of his jeans. He was wearing an ugly yellow jockstrap, but his cock was surprisingly nice - considering. He grew hard for me; moans resonated deep in his throat as I worked my hand up and down on him. I kept one eye scanning all around us, wary that the cops were on their way.

I was relieved when I finally blew my load in his mouth. A few seconds later, he came all over his flat stomach, twitching as I jerked him a few more times, trying to get every drop out. "That was hot," he panted, grabbing a t-shirt from the back seat and using it to clean up his cum. I didn't relax until our pants were done back up and we were driving toward town.

By the time we got back to my work, Nick had to head out for Mount Pleasant - thankfully. We made a quick goodbye and then I rushed inside, relieved to be back in a safe place. As I walked into the kitchen, the guys - Rylan, Josh, Weston and Tom - all turned to look at me. "You hooked up with that guy?" Weston asked, disbelief - and disgust in his voice.

"Not really," I mumbled, shooting an uncomfortable glance at Rylan. I didn't know it at the time, but I was beginning to like him as more than a friend; his face was neutral, but I knew that if Weston started bullying me that Rylan would step in and tell him to leave me alone. Even though I was eight years older than Rylan, he was protective of me, which I loved and definitely appreciated.

"His teeth were rotten," Josh said, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"If I'd known that beforehand, I wouldn't have invited him here," I confessed, clocking in and walking into the back to wash my hands.

"And you still let him suck your dick?"

"I felt bad...he drove almost two hours to see me..."

"You're such a girl," Josh teased.

I knew that I should have just found a way to politely nip any sex stuff in the bud, but I wasn't sure how to do so without being brutally honest. I had kind of enjoyed our sexy conversations on Messenger, but mostly because I didn't have anyone else interested in me and Nick being so far away helped me feel more comfortable; it kept the fantasy alive. Having met - and smelled - him, I wished I'd been stronger.

Nick and I stayed in touch after that day. I made a comment one night about how I take care of my teeth religiously, trying to subtly hint that dental hygiene should be important, but he replied that taking care of his teeth wasn't all that important to him - teeth were replaceable. He said it so cavalierly that I was stunned. How did he make any money as a server as a bougie steakhouse if he didn't care of his teeth? Again, I wished that I was brave enough to be blunter about it, but I realized that i was wasting my breath - Nick didn't care.

Everything came to a head when he tried introducing politics into our conversations. I am not a political person - at all. I don't want to discuss, argue, nor think about politics; as it turned out, he was as passionate about politics as I was dispassionate about them. When I made my stance clear, he got mad, reprimanding me like I was a child. How could I not care about politics? How could I turn a blind eye to social injustice and all of that was wrong in the world? I explained to him that I wasn't raised in a political household; my stepdad was from Canada, and my mom was apolitical up until Donal Trump decided to run for president that year When I was in school, the people who were into politics were considered weird and were made fun of.

My answers did not diffuse the situation, and he grew more impassioned, extolling the importance of voting and being politically active. Even after I told him that it's enough of a struggle for me to get through each day alive that I don't have anything left over to get all up in arms over things that I could not control, he criticized me. He called me selfish and an asshole, but he didn't get really upset until I told out that I didn't support the Black Lives Matter nor the All-Lives Matter movements; I said that as far as I was concerned, no lives matter - if you die, the only people that care are those who knew you. That tipped him over the edge and things escalated until I decided to block him, Political fanatics are so easy to fuck with; I should have known better to rage bait him, but he had annoyed me to the point where I had to mess with him a little.

Nick and I have Facebook friends in common, so I still see his online presence once in a while. It looks as though he moved to Los Angeles for a while, working for the LA branch of the steak house he'd worked at in Ann Arbor, but according to his profile, he currently lives in Chicago. I don't wish misfortune upon him, but I think he's nuts. To this day, I cannot fathom fighting with someone over politics, to me it is so childish and irrational. Everyone has become completely unable to accept an opinion that differs from theirs; it's sickening. As far as I'm concerned, all politicians are sleazebags and should not be trusted; they all lie to get what they want and take advantage of their position and their constituents.

Having looked up Nick's Facebook to see what his life is life currently I scrolled through his pictures and couldn't resist the urge to cringe. He is not attractive in any way; the lack of overall hygiene and especially dental hygiene should have been enough for me to politely decline anything beyond friendship. At the end of the day, the head wasn't good enough to make up for the smell and the entire awkward encounter. I wish I'd been brave enough to bluntly tell him that I didn't find him attractive and that he smelled; I deserve and deserved better. If only I was as fed up with bullshit back then as I am now.

I will never think that it's okay to push your political beliefs onto anyone else. As far as I'm concerned, politics - like religion - should be a private, personal experience and should not be a dividing factor in any circumstances, unless the political beliefs are extreme or inhumane. I have friends who are die-hard Trump supporters - that doesn't impact our friendship, nor should it. Everything has become so ridiculously politicized that it's a matter of contention, every thought and action is polarizing. I long for the days of my youth when people existed as people, not self-proclaimed politicos who, really, at the end of the day, don't know what they're talking about. Treat everyone with respect and dignity, be the best person you can be, help others when you can - that's the way to live your life, not categorizing and ostracizing people based solely on their political ideologies.