The Most Horrifying Things Viewers Have Asked me to do, as a "Cam Girl"/ Online Adult Content Creator

I want to begin by clarifying that Willie Wonka did not draft this composition- so you can count on the fact that it will not be sugar-coated, nor sweet. This body of words is not intended for children, nor for the faint of heart. While most of the following details are of a shocking, disturbing, and just downright foul nature- they are meanwhile very real, 100% true and serious requests that have been made by viewers of my work online, in the adult entertainment industry and as a "cam girl" /adult content creator. I don't often receive requests that I have to say "no," to.. In fact, I comfortably accept and fulfill probably 90% of the requests asked of me. I am very open-minded and very much an empath.  I recognize great bravery in the vulnerability and risk of rejection a person fosters and welcomes by making a request that reveals a "deep dark" secret fantasy of a socially non-traditional nature. As such, I do my best not to judge, and like I said, I'm able to accept and perform most tasks asked of me.... But the thing is, this draft is not about those acceptable requests ... Without pointing any fingers or putting anyone on blast, I've decided to present to you in the most confidential and informative way, some of the most horrific things I've ever been asked to do on camera. Please read on to learn about the remaining 10% of requests I've been asked by viewers- keeping in mind that all of these are examples of requests which I absolutely DECLINED to do!

(In no specific order)

I'll start by sharing an example from a "category" of requests, because there have been several different unrelated requests that I had to say "no" to, all for the very same reason- and that reason being: in order to provide fulfillment would have meant to risk potentially being killed in the process (or even worse: killing someone else!) I'm not even exaggerating a bit, either. Here is an example of a request of this type that was asked of me just a few months back: A viewer asked me to provide him the experience of a livestream video in real time, during which he wanted me to get hammered drunk and drive around city streets while completely nude... This is a perfect example of something that is not meant for me to understand. What pleasure does one derive from such a thing? And why does one get of on creating a situation that could lead to the death of innocent people, or my naked dang self?! So, just considering the "drunk driving" aspect of this request, it was already an absolute no-go... But to this day I still think about this often, asking myself 'why did this person seriously want to set me up to be pulled over or found dead while BUTT-A** NAKED?!?!?!' Geez. I never provided a response to this reckless inquiry, by the way. 

The next example is from a category of requests that I decline because fulfillment would be unsanitary or present a threat to my bodily health. The most preposterous request of this type was made by an individual who had a fetish centered around women who smoke cigarettes. He wanted a fully nude private recording, involving a "bushel" of at least seven cigarettes banded together, and smoked as one.... Which already sounds pretty extreme, right? But I haven't even reached the detail that caused my non-negotiable decline to fulfill this desire .... See, he didn't want to see me smoke the banded cigarette bushel with my mouth.... He requested it be smoked by, none other than: my va-jayjay. He made fun of me and called me a "prude" after I explained to him that I love my vagina too much to abuse it in such a way, and that I don't accept requests that jeopardize my ph balance. This is a request I received in my second month of doing this type of work and the first time I cried as a result of the industry. 

Another category of unfulfillable requests are those related to the fetish of crushing or stepping on things- I REFUSE to step on a living creature, and I am equally as shocked and sad every single time I receive this type of request. To make matters even worse, this is probably the most common type of request I receive- as it is typical for me to have to turn down at least a few each month. Most typically, the viewer will ask me to record myself stepping on (to "crush") things like: mice; frogs; snails .... In addition to my very stern decline to record this type of content, I always include that I have no choice but to report their request and info to PETA. I say this in hopes of spooking them, to potentially stop them from moving on to ask the next girl to fulfill this sick act.

Crazy stuff, right? We are just getting started, so bear with me. Read on to learn of the most disturbing individual requests that I have been asked to do on camera... (These don't fall into categories like the examples I've mentioned so far- these requests are in a league of all their own!)

A viewer once emailed me, asking if I have an extra working phone (with good camera) that I could use to record a video that would likely leave the device inoperable. He hadn't yet elaborated, so I explained that if he wanted me to record with a specialty item, or record the destruction of an item, he would just need to buy the item from or for me, prior to the recording. I went on to let him know that I had an older smartphone that I didn't necessarily need, which he could purchase for $100. He was pleased with this answer, so he went on to tell me  his hopeful destiny for this phone .... He wanted me to place an SD card into the phone and adjust the settings to save the recording to the card in advance, as the phone would likely be inoperable by the end of the video... Brace yourself.... He asked that I have the phone ready, charged and on stand-by, waiting in the bathroom for the right moment.... When that moment should come, he asked me to make sure the phone's camera flash feature was on, press record and then place the phone inside the bowl of my toilet.... This individual wanted me to drop my drawers, have a seat, and proceed to go to the bathroom onto the phone as it recorded from below....Completely "relieving myself," by going both number one AND number two....

I responded, "are you seriously asking me to take a s*** on phone?"

He corrected me, "Well, that's part of what I'm asking, but I also am hoping to see you empty your bladder at that same time." 

Good day, sir. My brain can't even process that level of chaos. Don't worry, we are just one more sentence away from the end of this foul request. In closing, imagine what would have to be done afterward in order to retrieve the footage for upload.... Bleh.

Moving right along, one day as I was broadcasting in lingerie on a livestream, one of the viewers watching sent me a private message. He requested that I leave the group stream, and join him in a private, live one-on-one stream instead-

-(Note: this is the method by which cam girls make most of their money- upon signing in, the cam girl would begin putting on a "tease" show in a "public" stream- which is open to all site members. While there are ways she can make money in that public stream, opportunities to do so are limited. Ultimately, pay in a public stream is just not even promised. Therefore, the object of "being a tease" in a public stream is to make the group understand that in order to see the live "fully uncensored show," one must invite the cam girl to a private one-on-one stream. Once a member "takes the bait," and enters a cam girls private stream, he will then be charged by the minute, a set rate of her choosing- for the entirety of that private stream, until either of them choose to end it. For reference, I typically charge $7 per minute during a typical private one-on-one show)

-Now that you know, I'll pick back up right where I left off: I obliged to his request and in a matter of seconds, I was in a private stream, with only this one particular viewer. Once the private stream is engaged, there are controls on the viewers end, allowing them to enjoy the show in the way they prefer: they can view her show without being seen or heard, themselves- just typing to her as she performs; they can choose to utilize the audio feature without video, where the girl can't see him but she can hear him; or, they can choose the cam-to-cam option, where both the girl and the viewer can see and hear each other in real time. So long as that private stream is going on, the viewer can freely switch between any of those three options with just a click. This particular viewer begins the private experience by simply typing to me as I perform.

Everything is chill for the first minute or two, then in an instant, it takes a turn that genuinely traumatized me.

He started out typing about how he had a fantasy and even though he didn't "need" me to help him in fulfilling it, he fancied to allow me to be a part of it...

Different, but whatever, right? Wrong.

He continues to send one sentence at a time, until he finally reaches his point and reveals the fantasy.... He types for me to pay very close attention.

In the next message he explains that his fantasy is to perform oral on himself while pretending it is me doing it.....

Then, before I can even process what I'm reading, he switches the function over to "cam-to-cam" so that we can now see each other live.... Since I was "paying very close attention," I am met with an eyeful of him SERIOUSLY DOING WHAT HE HAD JUST DESCRIBED!!!! This man was sitting in a chair, facing the camera, up close and personal, BENT OVER WITH HIS MOUTH ON HIS JUNK, making eye contact with the camera- AKA staring right into my soul.. and I can never un-see that.

That is the only time in history that I have been the one to end a private stream first, I usually will wait for the viewer to end it, considering I'm aiming to get as many minutes in as I can... But I got about a two-second eye-full of that chaos, and couldn't close that dang steam fast enough. After I ended the stream, I just sat here and cried for a couple minutes. I was absolutely traumatized. Moreover, this experience actually prompted me to sign out of the site and refrain from signing back in to broadcast until about a month later. 

In conclusion, online work in the adult entertainment industry is not for the faint of heart.... As mentioned in my previous post, I chose to enter this line of work because my family had hit rock bottom and all the positive aspects and perks of this type of work made it the only option that would work for us, in order to get out of the rut we were in- and STAY out of it ..... Until I hit rock bottom, displaying my nakedness online for strangers was out of the question... But by reaching that point I was able to learn a whole lot about myself- and you know what?  Many will look down on me for making this choice- but me, personally, I am proud of myself for being able to get past my own insecurities and fear of judgement...It's all just testament that I'm willing to go to war for mine loved ones. I am more secure in myself than EVER before, having learned that i f doing "the unthinkable" is the only way to accomplish a task as heavy as keeping my family alive, and caring for them in the ways they need and deserve- I am able to get past ANY obstacle- including my own pride... 

My husband and I were able to cope with the idea of me getting into this industry ONLY because doing it online eliminated ANY "in-person" "flesh-to-flesh" contact... We wouldn't have even considered it if "physical contact" was a part of the work.....

Of course, I'm beyond glad to report that 2+ years into the "adult entertainment industry," still and always my husband's hands are the only to grace my skin- therefore my body belongs to only he and I... So, I never have to concern myself with physical safety; the thing is, it never even occurred to us that this work was sure to put my emotions/mental health through the ringer! In closing, I just want to say: if you work in this industry, or if you have been considering getting into it: please be gentle with yourself and firm with your viewers. That being said, I will follow this up with several more solid tips and my best advise to whom it may concern, in regards to this work. So, definitely look out for that next post. :)

Thank you so much for reading; this was composed with utmost sincerity, honesty and a million cringes in remembrance XOXO