The Devil’s Heir

"This is how. There is a room close to, a chest into which I get. When the

good husband returns from his friend the draper's, where he goes to

supper every evening, because often he helps the draper's wife in her

work, my mistress pleads a slight illness, lets him go to bed alone, and

comes to doctor her malady in the room where the chest is. On the

morrow, when my jeweller is at his forge, I depart, and as the house has

one exit on to the bridge, and another into the street, I always come to

the door when the husband is not, on the pretext of speaking to him of

his suits, which commence joyfully and heartily, and I never let them

come to an end. It is an income from cuckoldom, seeing that in the minor

expenses and loyal costs of the proceedings, he spends as much as on

the horses in his stable. He loves me well, as all good cuckolds should

love the man who aids them, to plant, cultivate, water and dig the natural

garden of Venus, and he does nothing without me."__

Now these practices came back again to the memory of the shepherd,

who was illuminated by the light issuing from his danger, and counselled

by the intelligence of those measures of self-preservation, of which every

animal possesses a sufficient dose to go to the end of his ball of life. So

Chiquon gained with hasty feet the Rue de la Calandre, where the jeweller

should be supping with his companion, and after having knocked at the

door, replied to question put to him through the little grill, that he was a

messenger on state secrets, and was admitted to the draper's house. Now

coming straight to the fact, he made the happy jeweller get up from his

table, led him to a corner, and said to him: "If one of your neighbours had

planted a horn on your forehead and he was delivered to you, bound hand

and foot, would you throw him into the river?"

"Rather," said the jeweller, "but if you are mocking me I'll give you a

good drubbing."

"There, there!" replied Chiquon, "I am one of your friends and come to

warn you that as many times as you have conversed with the draper's

wife here, as often has your own wife been served the same way by the

advocate Pille-grue, and if you will come back to your forge, you will find

a good fire there. On your arrival, he who looks after your you- know what, to keep it in good order, gets into the big clothes chest. Now make

a pretence that I have bought the said chest of you, and I will be upon

the bridge with a cart, waiting your orders."

The said jeweller took his cloak and his hat, and parted company with his

crony without saying a word, and ran to his hole like a poisoned rat. He

arrives and knocks, the door is opened, he runs hastily up the stairs, finds

two covers laid, sees his wife coming out of the chamber of love, and then

says to her, "My dear, here are two covers laid."

"Well, my darling are we not two?"

"No," said he, "we are three."

"Is your friend coming?" said she, looking towards the stairs with perfect

innocence.

"No, I speak of the friend who is in the chest."

"What chest?" said she. "Are you in your sound senses? Where do you see

a chest? Is the usual to put friends in chests? Am I a woman to keep

chests full of friends? How long have friends been kept in chests? Are you

come home mad to mix up your friends with your chests? I know no other

friend then Master Cornille the draper, and no other chest than the one

with our clothes in."

"Oh!," said the jeweller, "my good woman, there is a bad young man,

who has come to warn me that you allow yourself to be embraced by our

advocate, and that he is in the chest."

"I!" said she, "I would not put up with his knavery, he does everything

the wrong way."

"There, there, my dear," replied the jeweller, "I know you to be a good

woman, and won't have a squabble with you about this paltry chest. The

giver of the warning is a box-maker, to whom I am about to sell this

cursed chest that I wish never again to see in my house, and for this one

he will sell me two pretty little ones, in which there will not be space

enough even for a child; thus the scandal and the babble of those envious

of your virtue will be extinguished for want of nourishment."

"You give me great pleasure," said she; "I don't attach any value to my

chest, and by chance there is nothing in it. Our linen is at the wash. It will

be easy to have the mischievous chest taken away tomorrow morning.

Will you sup?"

"Not at all," said he, "I shall sup with a better appetite without the chest."

"I see," said she, "that you won't easily get the chest out of your head."

"Halloa, there!" said the jeweller to his smiths and apprentices; "come

down!"

In the twinkling of an eye his people were before him. Then he, their

master, having briefly ordered the handling of the said chest, this piece of

furniture dedicated to love was tumbled across the room, but in passing

the advocate, finding his feet in the air to the which he was not

accustomed, tumbled over a little.

"Go on," said the wife, "go on, it's the lid shaking."

"No, my dear, it's the bolt."

And without any other opposition the chest slid gently down the stairs.

"Ho there, carrier!" said the jeweller, and Chiquon came whistling his

mules, and the good apprentices lifted the litigious chest into the cart.

"Hi, hi!" said the advocate.

"Master, the chest is speaking," said an apprentice.

"In what language?" said the jeweller, giving him a good kick between

two features that luckily were not made of glass. The apprentice tumbled

over on to a stair in a way that induced him to discontinue his studies in

the language of chests. The shepherd, accompanied by the good jeweller,

carried all the baggage to the water-side without listening to the high

eloquence of the speaking wood, and having tied several stones to it, the

jeweller threw it into the Seine.

"Swim, my friend," cried the shepherd, in a voice sufficiently jeering at

the moment when the chest turned over, giving a pretty little plunge like

a duck.

Then Chiqoun continued to proceed along the quay, as far as the Rue- duport, St Laudry, near the cloisters of Notre Dame. There he noticed a

house, recognised the door, and knocked loudly.

"Open," said he, "open by order of the king."

Hearing this an old man who was no other than the famous Lombard,

Versoris, ran to the door.

"What is it?" said he.

"I am sent by the provost to warn you to keep good watch tonight,"

replied Chiquon, "as for his own part he will keep his archers ready. The

hunchback who has robbed you has come back again. Keep under arms,

for he is quite capable of easing you of the rest."