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Sugar and kink are not the same thing

Here is why

By Lena BaileyPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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I get so annoyed when I see sugar babies or daddies or mamas post on non sugar groups on fetlife. I don't mind them being on the site but stay in your groups. Also there are people who use the kink site for sugar when they aren't even kinky and I will talk about that later. I have already posted about how the sugar lifestyle is it's own lifestyle but I will briefly talk about this again.

BDSM is all about doing things that are for sexual pleasure. Sugar is basically a dating relationship one of the partners pays for. Yes they can intersect. There are some sugar daddies or mamas that want kink from their sugar babies. This does not mean that the sugar world and the kink world are the same. They should be their own worlds only to intersect when it's called for. Sugar was not designed for sexual pleasure where kink was.

It's not to say that sex or kink can't be involved in sugar it's just that it's not all that is involved in sugar. Sugar is a relationship that is based in what you can do for each other mainly non sexually. A lot of older men are needing or wanting a younger woman to be their unofficial therapist. The girls in return get money and/ or gifts.

Kink can be about what you can do for each other but it's more about sex or sexual pleasure. Even if you are hitting someone with a flogger they more than likely will get some pleasure out of it. There are aspects where money may exchange hands in the kink community. One of the main ways money exchanged hands is the concept of pro Doms and pro subs. These people are sex workers and yet a lot of the times sex isn't the focus. Also findom is a way money exchanges hands in the kink lifestyle.

Kink is all about fetishes, relationships and building a connection where sugar is about money and building a connection. Sugar is basically a relationship one of the partners pays for. So while they both involve some kind of connection or relationship they are different in how the relationship ran. The relationships are also different in nature of the relationship.

I don't think sugar qualifies as a fetish. I think the people that think sugar is a fetish probably are thinking about findom. There are a lot of fetish involving money but sugar is different. Sugar is more about mentorship and a relationship then getting satisfaction of money exchanging hands.

If you are not kinky you shouldn't be on a kink site looking for something that isn't even fully kinky. There are dedicated vanilla sites for sugar relationships. It's a lot easier to get help when things go a little side wise on sites that cater to what you are into. The caretakers on kink websites may not fully be able to help sugar people in their journeys. They are probably are aware of what sugar is but they are there to handle website and kink issues. I explain it this way you wouldn't go to best buys website to buy a top and you wouldn't go to your mechanic if there was a problem with your laptop. A lot of girls who find sugar daddies on sites for kinky people run into men who just want sex. Now this is the truth if you exchange sex for money that is not sugar that is prostitution, that is the literal definition. I will not apologize for telling the truth or literal definitions.

I like talking about non traditional relationships. I want people to have an amazing experience in any type of relationship that choose to have. I also want people to know what they're getting into when they enter into any lifestyle or relationship. So if you have any questions or comments please email me ([email protected]) I try to answer all emails with in a day or 2.

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About the Creator

Lena Bailey

Georgia born writer. Specializing in dating and true crime

If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]

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