Stripping (bikini bar)

I did it for over a year, living outside of LA area, trying to make a living while going to school and working two other day jobs. I am still recovering from it, totally corrupted my view of men, and some women forever. Yet I was fit, 115 lbs. and built that muscle to climb the pole like no tomorrow. Even though I do not advice it for anyone, I met some good spirits. As in the other dancers, we of course became friends and related on daddy issues, mommy issues, boyfriend issues, job issues, school issues. Basically, you should take yourself to therapy instead of that pole. I mean, take some dance classes, with costumes of course, costumes and dancing were the best.

Let us get real, it was my first time doing something like this when I was twenty-four, and the way it makes you feel is not all glamorous. I sat on the curb of a Mexican strip joint for about an hour before I went into my first one. I do not know how I was, but for about six months I gave it my all. Trust me, all the experience I have, I did not make the bank as the girls do in Nevada or at those glamor field strip joints that I've heard about. It was tight wads and skimpy pervs. The bartender suggested I go into this other strip bar that i might feel more comfortable in, I was the only white girl in my first one, (how was I to know).

That is where it got real addicting, made better money, meet, and got along with the girls, and got to choose my own music. Let me tell you, dancing is my soul, at least it was. I was raised with ballroom and swing, took jazz and salsa in college, but when I moved out of my hometown, I stopped it all, but I threw myself into strip dancing, which wasn't good. So, like I said therapy or dance lessons, that’s all you need. You do not need the rest of it, it will hurt you and impact the rest of your life. So, I was an innocent girl from a small town in bikini outfits, kneeling on the floor, collecting cash for her next rent check, that was the most degrading part of it all. Money being thrown at your almost nude body and cannot forget the men trying to see your clit, then the men trying to figure if you shave or wax. No matter how glamorous you may think it is, it is not.

Another regret is my drinking and driving. You must imagine doing such a job, you need alcohol to numb your sadness and allow you to dance better and of course be more sociable to make tips. I am lucky I didn’t get thrown in jail for a DUI, I could have wrecked into someone else’s car. To this day I have a bad habit of flirting with everyone when I get intoxicated. I can not go into a bar without giving the impression of wanting to sleep with the people I talk to, when all it is, is a way to make tips. Yet a bar is not a strip joint, men do not even buy me drinks anymore. This experience also caused me to have a poor addiction to money, where I would look anywhere for some cash. I tried dance halls, which was worse than strip joints. They basically had you sit in a room, and when you were selected by a client you danced with him while he placed his hands anywhere, he wanted on your body. I only did that one time. I am ashamed of my past no matter how glamorous people think it is. I have a lot to recover from. Please say prayers for me.