Shards Of Being: Ch. 10
Untold Love Stories
SOPHIA
“It’s me, Sophia.” Joseph’s voice on the other side of the door forced me to swallow hard. Damn it. What the hell was I supposed to say to him? Hey, I only kissed you that night at the beach to make my dead boyfriend jealous. No hard feelings, right?
I'd been avoiding him like the plague since that day at his new apartment. The day I decided it was a good idea to remind him I'd been the one he had kissed that night at the beach. The same girl who'd given him the slightest bit of hope that he had any chance whatsoever at surviving having any involvement he had with me.
God, I was the shittiest person on earth. And I was tired of carrying that around with me too.
“How’d you know I was here?” I wondered out loud and cursed when I remembered the answer to that question. I had posted a picture on my social media after graduation, letting the world know I was off to Houston to start a new life. My flight wasn't scheduled until morning and I decided to book a room at the hotel nearby, not willing to spend another day in a city that held so much of the bad and not enough of the good in my memories.
“Social media works better than GPS, don’t you think?” he replied, and I bit my lower lip, wondering if I should let him in or not.
“I meant this room.”
“I bribed the clerk downstairs with a fifty dollar bill. I had to see you before you left,” he explained and I sighed, guilt already taking over as I opened the door. He stood before me, my gaze heading straight towards the dark circles underneath his eyes. Guilt hit me like a semi-truck instantly. Was I the cause of his sleepless nights? I refused to think any of his sorrows revolved around me, but I couldn't help but feel horrible anyway.
“Come in.” I stepped aside to let him in, and locked the door after he entered. I pulled my damp curls up in a bun and waited for him to say what he came to say as I pulled my robe tighter and tighter around my bare body.
“You were going to leave without saying goodbye, weren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. More like an observation. A correct one at that.
“I don’t like awkward goodbyes. And after the last time we were in the same room together, I figured--”
“I don’t care why you kissed me that night at the beach, Sophia. I care about why you felt like you had to lie about it,” he interrupted, reading my face as I stepped closer to him.
“I didn’t want to drag you into my mess, Joseph. I guess, it sorta happened anyway,” I stated, as I swallowed hard, forcing down the knot in my throat as he closed the gap between us.
“Sophia...” he said my name, and followed it up with a short laugh as he reached up to cup my cheek in the palm of his hand, “...I’ve been letting you drag me into your crazy life since I first met you. And I don’t mind one bit,” he finished with a smile, brushing his lips over mine before adding a heated kiss. I moaned into his mouth when his tongue found mine and his arms pulled me against his body. My fingers instantly went to undo the buttons of his shirt, and I tossed it across the room before moving on to his pants. Once his shoes and the rest of his clothes were off, all it took was one tug and my robe was off, pooling at my feet.
We fell onto the bed in between devouring each other’s lips, Joseph’s warm body hovering mine. He only pulled away from me briefly to look down at me as he placed my legs around his waist, then my hands on either side of my head, our fingers intertwining as he sank himself into me inch by inch. His lips returned to mine as I continued to suppress the moan waiting to erupt inside me. He kissed down my neck slowly, his thrusts matching the pace of his lips. My impatience grew within each passing moment. I wanted more of him. I wanted all of him. For as long as I could have him. His laughter vibrated against the skin on my neck as he held onto my hips and pulled me on top of him. I appreciated his understanding for my need of being in control all the time and leaned down to kiss him, allowing my hips to begin to roll and bounce, causing him to groan and reach to squeeze at my bottom.
He leaned up towards me, capturing a nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his teeth and skillful lips. I bit down on my lower lip as I felt my muscles pulse and contract around his thickening shaft. I wanted to warn him. I wanted to tell him he needed to pull away before it was too late. Before I overdosed on him just as I had overdosed on Dave and he ended up forever scarred with the time we spent together. But as soon I felt his thumb on me circling and adding to my pleasure, I completely lost all reason.
I was consumed with the high that came with abandoning all anchors and inhibitions. I wanted to drink it all in until the bone-melting truth awaited me at dawn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up to the sound of an obnoxious phone ringing. Once I realized it was mine, I stirred fully awake and reached to answer it.
"Hello?"
"What time is your flight getting in? I want to make sure I leave work on time to pick you up." The sound of Nico's deep southern voice forced alarms to go off in my head, warning me of the situation I had gotten myself in last night and how I had no choice to confront them if I had any shot of keeping Joseph in my life.
"I...umm--"
"Who is that?" Joseph asked as he yawned into my neck as he wrapped his arm around my naked torso and pulled me back into bed.
"Nico, I'll call you back." I didn't wait for Nico's response. I only waited for Joseph's. I could feel him stiffen beside me, his gaze holding mine in the dim light of the hotel room we had forgotten to turn off last night.
"Tell me you didn't," he demanded quietly, resting his forehead against mine, as if he were breathing me in one last time.
"Joseph, it's complicated."
"There's nothing complicated about grieving Sophia. You're sad. All the time. And you do fucked up shit to get rid of it. Is that what I am to you? Another Dave? Another Nico?" He was asking questions I didn't want to answer at the moment. Questions he had no right to ask seeing as he himself had used people, and drugs to numb every ounce of pain that triggered every nerve inside him.
"You're one to talk. Have you blocked Tara's number from your phone yet?" I countered as I hurried to pick up my robe from the floor to wrap it around me.
"You're not answering the question," he fired back, standing up from the tousled sheets without bothering to reach for his clothes.
"Maybe you shouldn't be asking it." I held my ground and watched as his gaze skimmed over my face, searching for something he couldn't find. Something that wasn't in his grasp. I wanted to ask him what he'd been looking for. A moment? A feeling? Words that would fill in the trenches of sadness we dug up for each other to see?
"I don't regret meeting you," Joseph's words struck a cord inside me I didn't know I had. They resonated within me long after I watched him put his clothes on and walk out the door. Long after I showered and left my messy hotel room for the airport. Even as I landed in Houston to start a new life without him.
He was going to be okay. Even after all of this. Even after me.
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About the Creator
Sharlene Alba
Full of raw and unfiltered fluid poems, short stories and prompts on love, sex, relationships and life. I also review haircare, skincare and other beauty products. Instagram: grungefirepoetry MissBeautyBargain Facebook: grungefirepoetry
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