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Sexuality & Romantic Attraction

The Different Types and What It Means

By Lena BaileyPublished 5 years ago 3 min read

In sexuality and romantic attraction, there is no such thing as abnormal; this is normal. For those who are new to the world of sexuality and romantic attraction, welcome. I'll be nice and easy to understand, I hope. The difference between romantic and sexual attraction is that sexual attraction or sexuality is more primal; who draws you in appearance-wise. Romantic attraction is who draws you in personality-wise and who you see having a relationship with. We also can't assume that there is just straight, gay, and bi. People have evolved, so let's dive in.

Of course there are straight or heterosexuals who are attracted to people of the opposite sex. A lot of the time, most people—especially older people—just assume that everyone is straight, which is wrong. You shouldn't assume anything.

Then there is homosexuality, or gay, which means you are attracted to people of the same sex. You can also use the word lesbian to describe a female who is gay. With this group, do not call them fags, not cool. Queer has risen in popularity as a term for gay people but I wouldn't go around calling people you don't know well queer.

Bisexuals experience sexual attraction to men and women. There is bi curious, who are people who questioning their sexuality or interested in testing out their sexuality. Homo and hetero-flexible people also can be considered to be testing out their sexuality. Hetero-flexible is where you are straight but experimenting, or flexible in who you play with or sleep with. Homo-flexible is where you're gay but experimenting, or flexible with who you play or sleep with.

Pansexual or omnisexual means to feel attraction to all gender identities. We will talk about gender identities in my next post, but there are so many different gender identities beyond men and women.

Asexual means that this person doesn't feel sexual attraction or urges. They can, however, feel the desire for a romantic relationship.

There's also demisexual where you are attracted to a person's mind and personality. You are basically not interested in sex or sexually attracted to someone until you really know someone.

There were a few I didn't know about including gray-a. There are many ways to describe a gray-a person. According to urban dictionary, there are 4: 1) do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes, 2) experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive, 3) experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them, 4) people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances.

There's androgynsexual where people are attracted to male and females who have feminine and masculine features (in other words androgynous people). Androsexuals are people who are attracted to males with masculine features. Gynosexual is someone who is attracted to a woman with really feminine features. Skoliosexuals are attracted to genderqueer or nonbinary people only. Autosexual is where you are attracted to yourself.

Romantic attractions can be mixed with sexualities, like you can be asexual but heteroromantic. Of course aromantic is no romantic desire. Biromantic is romantic desire towards men and women. Omniromantic is romantic desires to all people no matter the gender. Heteroromantic is romantic desire to the opposite gender. Homoromantic people feel a romantic desire towards people of the same gender. Biromantic is romantic desire to men and women.

You can be any of these and be attracted to trans people. Sexual and romantic desire is about the person and how they present themselves. Straight men are usually so standoffish about being attracted to trans people, but what they don't understand is if someone is living their life as female and they look like a female, then they are female and nothing should change the attraction. More than likely, she has all the parts a cis girl (not trans) will have.

Have fun exploring all the possibilities and be kind to each other.


About the Creator

Lena Bailey

Georgia born writer. Specializing in dating and true crime

If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]

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    Lena BaileyWritten by Lena Bailey

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