Sex and Weed

Before I begin, I want you to know that this story is absolutely true. I have left out the names and I'm only using descriptions.

I knew shit went wrong when i woke up with my t-shirt over my head and my underwear on the other side of the room. The woman I was in bed with was apologizing profusely, and I was as confused as hell. I literally only had one question; what happened to me?

Let's start with the night before.

I met two very spry older women at a club my ex worked at. The younger woman was 52, the older 59. My 25 year old butt escorted them to their car, laughing at their bad sexual puns and come on. When Ms. 52 asked for my number, I gave it to her with a giggle. She was intoxicated as shit, no way was she going to call me, she might not even remember this in the morning. They drove away, and I got in my car and went home, the two freaky older women a distant memory as I hit the highway.

Two weeks went by. The girlfriend now an ex, and I'm at home enjoying a cold beer. My phone rings, and I answer it thinking its for my brother. Ms.52 gives me a cheery "hey sexy" on the other end. It took her reminding me of who she was and where we met for me to remember her. After a few minutes of chit chat, she asked me what I was doing tonight.

"Nothing actually," I replied

"Wanna come over and hang out," she asked.

I looked at the L&O re-run I was watching, realizing I had seen it before, and asked for her address.

When I arrive, Ms. 52 greets me with a cold beer. Her roommate, Ms. 59, sits on the sofa with her boyfriend, a large built black man with a missing front tooth. For about an hour, the conversation was all about what I did, my military history, a little playful banter. Ms. 52 kept drinking and drinking. I was a little weirded out by the whole vibe.

Then, toothless pulled out the weed.

I am no stranger to weed, but I'm not a fan of it. Each time I've tried it, the experience wasn't that great for me. So i generally avoided it. But now, surrounded by some weird folks, I needed something to relax. So when the joint got passed to me, I inhaled deeply. I was high before I knew it. Shortly after, I crawled to the bathroom to throw up, which is was usually happened to me when I got high. By that time, Ms. 52 was very drunk. In my own state of inebriation, I escorted her to bed. There was a lot of naked petting, but neither of us were really capable of doing anything. So we fell asleep.

At some point, I got up to go to the bathroom. That's all I remember.

When I awoke nude from the waist down, I literally freaked out. Ms. 52 kept apologizing, saying things like "it wasn't suppose to happen this way" and "I didn't start it." It took everything in me not to snap on her. I angrily got dressed and was about to storm out when Ms. 59 walked back into the house from driving Toothless home.

"What the f**k happened to me last night," I asked through clenched teeth.

"We all f**ked," she replied, nonchalantly, and began the story:

After we passed out, Ms.59 and Toothless had sex, then Toothless got up to make her a late night post-f**k breakfast. That's when I got up to go to the bathroom. On my way back, I stopped to ask Ms. 59 if her friend was going to be ok. My obvious bulge in my underwear seemed to pique her curiosity, so she approached me. She eased her hands down my shorts, grabbing me with both hands.

"So big," she whispered as she knelt down and took me in her mouth.

After making me extremely hard, I push her on the bed, sticking my tongue into her mouth at the same time I slid inside her. She came almost instantly, bucking and moaning loud and hard. I hit my stroke then (the mythical stroke all men have,) kissing her deep as I thrust deeper. Her orgasms came harder and in multiples. Her fingernails dug deep into my back, and she nibbled on my neck. Suddenly, I stopped, realizing what I was doing, and realizing there was a very large black man cooking for the woman whos back I was currently blowing out. I jumped up like I was burned, hurriedly put my underwear back on, and ran back into Ms. 52's bed. I laid next to her as she grabbed my hard-on and kissed me.

Within minutes, we had company.

Toothless and Ms. 59 barged in, and immediately he was on 52, and she got on top of me and began to buck and grind. This went on for hours, I was told. Each woman got off countless times, in different ways. It was a fantastic night, and I didn't remember any of it.

After figuratively picking my jaw up off the floor, I kissed Ms. 52, kissed Ms. 59 (she grabbed my d**k,) and walked out the door. I was shocked, mortified, completely thrown off for days.

I went back almost every weekend.