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Say it to yourself

Say it to yourself

By Herman FiferPublished 4 months ago 11 min read

Echo, see you slowly off the plane in the middle of the night, leisurely into their own country, step by step calmly pushing the luggage cart, a happy ring is always in tears of joy mother, I can not help but because of your manner is safe, suddenly gave birth to a strange vicissitudes of life. Late at night the airport under a light rain, and your laughter is so crisp, you will palm into the horn, in the wind Shouting his brother's nickname, chasing his car ran a few steps, he lifted a big box, thrown into the luggage box. There were still old clothes in the box, but you said, "A lot of clothes! Enough for a whole year!" It is this sentence, said with full joy.

Good boy, you have changed. This safe and bright, people can not recognize.

After a long flight, you talk a lot. When the whole family is in bed, you still don't want to rest and quietly put on headphones to listen to music.

Fourteen hours later, you wake up in the same position, leaning on the floor in the corner of the bed, headphones still attached to your head, the first night of sleep back home. No dream, no tossing and turning, no memory of falling asleep, bed two sleeping pills did not move. It's always a good start.

Since you wake up in a safe world, with no phones or voices, I want to talk to you. Let me talk to you before Mama Chen finds you awake and brings you food. After all, we don't have much time to talk, especially in Taiwan, do we?

The familiar sound of rain falls all around you. Don't look out the window at the gray wall of your neighbor's back alley. There is no rain. That's what you do. Go home, wake up. Then came the sound of rain.

Let's not listen to the rain, it's just the air conditioner dripping, it won't wet your pillow, really won't.

This time you come back. Not a guest. This is different. You're here for a year.

Isn't a year long? It can be long, it can be short. Are you afraid of long or short? I guess you're afraid of short as well as long, aren't you?

For three years we have been avoiding each other, refusing to talk face to face. You talk to everyone, but you dare not talk to me.

You avoided me, I also left, did not bother to find you. But now that you have just woken up from a long sleep, and your limbs and your mind are still unable to move, let me speak to you quietly, just this once, and never again, shall I? Of course, this year will be a New Year, brand new, although the Mid-Autumn Festival has not passed, but we when this autumn is the New Year, you say OK?

You don't speak, three years ago, you died on a bright moon Mid-Autumn Festival. This, I have not forgotten, we are most afraid of the autumn moon on the sea. Now, but I tell you: "Let's come to the New Year, the autumn of the New Year is cool, are no longer hot, what is not happy?"

Believe me, I've been through life and death just like you. It's not just you, it's me, it's all of us. Although we have different experiences with others, different feelings, different growth processes, and everyone's ability to love and vitality can not be measured in exactly the same way, but we have survived, not just you and me, but everyone, all human beings.

We have experienced the past, but do not know the future, because do not know, life becomes more magical and beautiful. Don't ask me about the future! Please, Echo, leave everything to nature. Life, is a kind of slow like summer water forward, we should not worry about our thirty years old, should not go to the urgent fifty years old things, when we live, do not have to expect the coming of death, all this, will come.

I want you to learn the mood of waiting for the time to mature, but also want you to keep this waiting outside of the effort and persistence.

Echo, we don't give up anything, not even memories. You know, I never expect you to bury the past, in fact, the past is not necessary, nor is it possible to give up in life, our today, including a look, are not the shadow of past life overlapping?

At this point, you smiled at me, a smile so steady, I don't know what you were thinking, perhaps you did not think anything, you just woke up from an exhausting rest, so you smiled, looks a little ambiguous kind of smile.

If you believe that your life is a wildfire that never burns, and a spring breeze that never blows, if you are willing to really start over and live honestly again, then please tell me that you have been released from the past.

Let go instead of forgetting the past

Now, you are saying, you said to me with a smile, sad, can be amortized, if you can't afford a.

I tell you, sometimes, we have to be a little cruel to their own, can't indulge their sad. Sometimes, we have to be cruel to the people we love, put their love, responsibility, memory on hold.

Because each of us is a unique individual, we have an obligation to take responsibility for our own lives. The first element of this responsibility, Echo, is the joy of life. Joy, joy and joy. Take this step, and then pick other responsibilities!

I believe, burning a person's soul, it is the love of life, that is to die. No one really knows the limits of his love for life. The limits are not determined by us, but by the knowledge extracted from the trials and trials of life experience. If you don't love life, if you don't value yourself, then all this vitality, will not come, Echo, you understand?

Believe in life and time! If time can take away the pain, then we don't have to feel guilty, not to mention shame, let it take! Can not take away, natural root in the heart, do not have to force. Life is good, twists and turns, the front will always have a different scenery. Let me whisper to you, Echo, people in the world love to see tragedy, but they just watch the play, and if your tragedy turns out to be true, they will not only watch it, they will throw soda bottles at you. If you're smart, drop that curtain and don't show it to anyone, not even a hair, let alone anything else. Well, you might as well not cry behind the scenes, because you're not showing it to yourself, okay? Although, over the years. I don't know you very well, but I've always thought you were a man of great potential, and I think you know that better than I do.

However, potential does not guarantee that you will be able to go through all the hardships in the future. What's more, you have only walked half of your life.

In our past feelings, in the first time of the event, you do not think that it is the limit of their own pain, no more bitter.

And then, the second time, you think it's the end, and this time it hurts more. Yes, you again and again trauma, in fact, depend on the time to treat, although you use the time is indeed a longer, but you are better, live. After the treatment, you become a new person, the way to come, there is no way back, but the future road, but unknowingly walked out. All this is homework, and all is fair. But I'm not the man I used to be.

Why are you being the old you? Are you gonna be the same person you were last second? Just ask the cells that keep dying in your body!

Every rebirth is a new person. This new person, better equipped than the previous soft shell, will be more capable of suffering.

It may sound palpitating when I say it, and it is hard to imagine a greater shock in the future. Echo, you hear me say this, just the same silent smile, you grow up a lot, you understand, but also waiting, also prepared, also calm and fearless, right?

This is a New Year, you are facing a new environment, this is you are familiar with the unfamiliar China, Echo, don't be too careless, China is complicated. You say, you can cope, you know how to resolve, you are not angry, you are not disappointed. But don't forget, you love it, this is your fatal wound, you love things, people, home, country, are easy to hurt, because under this premise, you refuse to put up any defense. Every time you return to China, you struggle in excess tension and refuse to take out the means to protect yourself to be the real you, the simple you.

You are grateful, you yearn for the past, you are weak in the country, because you can not forget once in your side stretched out the endless sympathy and love of the hand, you expect yourself to be crushed to return these kindness, in the end, you forget, you are only flesh and blood, a person, in the return of love, is limited, and your love, but not enough to do all lotus. Echo, your Chinese name is not very good, father called you -- Ping, you do not love this word, you see today, you are actually this word. So suitable name, you will accept it safely! Including no return, let it go to heaven and earth for you to return, oneself, do your best, no longer insist, ask you. I know you should be more and more stable, just like other people, I dare not expect to help you any help, I believe that your need for life is absolutely not a miracle from the sky, you want, just a confidence support, let you in the future is not smooth mountain road, walk a little easier.

You wake up here, quiet and awake, not even moving your eyes, beside you, is the desk, on the desk, there is a telephone -- the thing you are most afraid of, next to the phone, are two large bags of mail, are you before leaving the country unopened letters. These things will be a part of you from the first day you fully wake up and enter life, and will always be on your shoulders.

It's what keeps you from being happy. It's what keeps you from being happy. It's what keeps you from being happy. Children, you forget a word, at least when you come back to China forget this sentence: insist on what you should do is called courage, insist on what you should not do, is also courage. Apart from a genuine sense of community, you have no reason to give too much for fear of hurting others' hearts, and you underestimate others because they will not be hurt by your rejection, because they are better than you.

Too often, Echo, you get frustrated because you can't meet all the demands placed on you by the people around you who love you, but you forget that your own biggest task is life.

Although, everything around you affects you at the right time. And through this medium, you also let the people around you absorb their desires and needs from you, but you forget one sentence -- in your life, you are the master of your own, you are the protagonist. For the lives of others, we are at best only a hint, a small inspiration, in some cases to enrich the lives of others, rather than overstepping the authority of others' lives - even if others so request, it is not in the premise of good will to help, it is not good for you, not good for others.

Echo, speaking of this, mother's footsteps are approaching, and the first day of your first year of residence in China is about to begin. We don't have much time, so let me tell you quickly. Many of us spend our lives tinkering with our lives. Life would be more interesting if we had a chance to reinvent ourselves, wouldn't it?

Sometimes allow yourself the luxury of focusing on not living for a few days at the request of others. Lay your own foundation first, then discover others, cherish your own usefulness, and one day you will be able to do much more than you already do.

And, not intentionally.

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