No love

I think of you in the fading house. But you're not here anymore. Do I still love you?"

"How dare you speak of love in these difficult times?"

"If you get any more letters, will you read mine? When I write, I always think you won't read my letters. Someone else must have read my letter, a strange woman. I don't know who she is. By the time she picked up the pad, the words would have turned to dust. The past is the past, and nothing is more real than a letter in ashes."

"I dreamed that there was a man waiting for me by the river. I said: Why are you here? But I don't know who that is. That person is not you. I don't think I'll see you again. I wouldn't recognize you if I saw you. Your face is so vague."

The woman's handwriting was neat and strong, and she signed it "tapegreen." The stationery was yellow and moldy. The word is not clear, when writing should be very clear, but the silent erosion of time into the past does not matter warm. This is the bottom letter. The date was "August 18, 1964." That's the year I was born. She wrote to her father when she was born as a young woman. The letter opened and folded again, the crease is different many times, Maomao thin as the heart of the open. Does father feel a little different every time he reads it? I was born in the red season in September. When my father received this letter, I was about to open my eyes in the warm womb. Little hands and feet like small fish swam in the placenta, opening their mouths to breathe the air that was very stimulating and painful: I was born. My life is a secret no one knows, even I don't know how I live. How mysterious life is Chuchu chu born shadow shadow just feel dark: as if open; The doctor said you open it. Chu opened the dark door, her father silently into the darkness. Lin Youyou died without saying anything to her. He just said, "Go back. You don't have to wait here with me." Every time you go to the hospital to see her father swim worry are sorry, always say you want to go to work you by two four, you hurry up to go. Clearly tell for two weeks every day to go to the hospital with her father, the doctor says it is time you also don't be too sad, people always once, we will try to ease his pain. You Worry could not get up, day by day, day by day, day by day, sleep a little lower, day by day, day by day less and less talk, farther and farther away, day by day he ate less and less, he did not need food, and no longer need air, daughter or wife, Chuchu or late snow. And at the end of life, it doesn't even need to be private. His legs were wide open. The hospital patient, without underwear, could see her father's nether regions, the little egg-like testicles covered with scattered black hairs; The mysterious birth is nothing more than a black duck egg and a teaspoon of milk white cephalid. You can smell her father. She held back her breath and said, Dad, how are you doing? You Worry turned his head slightly away from her and said, "It smells good." He knew she smelled him.

Chuchu folded the letterhead, Maomao thin has a new crease. Father is really good to her always take her to drink tea, only take her without her mother late snow, called a bowl of chicken feet and ribs rice to eat their own full, so that what you like to eat what to eat. Chuchuku, you can eat whatever you like. When Abba gives you food, you can eat whatever you like. She asked Abpa out food is not a lot of money? Abba was a small clerk who ate royal food. He didn't have much money but you could eat whatever you liked. Chuchu likes shrimp dumplings, glutinous rice chicken, horse cake. The abundance of Life If I feel happy is just someone telling me, I don't earn much, only that much, but you can eat whatever you like. Chu or shed tears. Shrimp dumplings, glutinous rice chicken, Mara cake hot steaming incense, memories of shrimp dumplings, glutinous rice chicken, Mara cake always have bamboo leaves incense, incense can be intoxicating. She thought in the darkening house. But what I miss is gone. Do I still love you? Woman sash Green after all what kind of woman? She wrote it; No one knows; Burn up in the dust. Chuchu blow blow will be a box of old letters received inside the wardrobe.

You worry died after the lawyer told Chu he made a secret trust, left her a house, in the big horn mouth, and the key of the safe, safe inside the United States bonds, Hong Kong a few blue chip stocks, ten gold coins, and a box of letters. Chu never know her father you worry in addition to the old house in Tugua Bay after the property. She did not know why her father had given her the house instead of her mother; And it was a secret trust. He did not mention it until he died, perhaps knowing that his lawyer was a good lawyer and would give her what he wanted. She took the deed to the house to do the transfer procedure, and took the key to the danger of finding, not knowing what kind of house her father would leave her. It was on the third floor of an old building on Maple Street. Below were old people's homes and condos. There were dead rats and cats in the ditches. At the door of the unit there is a smoky land of God, also served with incense oil is new. Chuchu rang the doorbell. Someone's holding it and the locks have probably been changed. I'm a little confused that no one should hear me. She put the key in and didn't expect to turn it around and open the door. There was someone, sitting in an old rattan chair in front of the window the shadow was old and small, like the shadow of yesterday. I'm sorry. I was wondering if...

Someone was sitting in an old rattan chair by the window, his shadow old and small. Someone, sitting in an old grand chair, had swollen feet that were blue. There were people, three of them, three women with the same face. I'm sorry. I was wondering if... This is... You worry... Of... Ask carefully.

"We three sisters. Oh, the three sisters are ninety years old. We are ninety years old and eighty-five years old that day Taiyi said we are not dead, let us together, three sisters were born in the same year, the same month, the same day, one face three people. Too early to say three sisters umbilical cord even umbilical cord even do ghost have body headless, a first three people points. I am the oldest so called Taiyi, 90 years old, 85 years old that day I said I have done enough, I don't do, I do ghosts. Do three ghosts, three incense sticks, life is said to be three sisters, you give your husband to play and not a person suffer pain, you gave birth to a child is not a person cry for help, you have no money and no children to go to sleep street. I said it was too early in your life to have children, death to the face is not your own one thrown in the old people's home. I said too B you do cattle do horses, to the old when you sleep in the coffin to your own flag to buy water, burn their own ashes.

I said a big big strong head, her husband died when the child died, you strong head to go through the endless death, it is better for the three sisters to live in a bunch of no one no ghost when the wild burial. Rent a great-aunt's house and have a cute guy rent a house for us and say we'll move in when we die. Don't haunt us. Ninety years old I say too B you wash the dishes to eighty-five years old you are not enough to wash, ninety years old I say too early children are spilled out of the water, when the egg happens, ninety years old I will close my medical museum at eighty-five years old, I don't do even kung fu don't play, what good to play my apprentice to beg me, I say I don't recognize you play kung fu play a life to seven tuberculosis eight injuries, medical people medical can not own, Hey hey. What are you doing here, girl? We've already paid the rent this month. Don't bother you and hurry up."

Chu thought he saw three witches. Let me... Let me... Collect the house. 'she said. The three old ladies quacked and laughed like frogs. You take the house. Too one stood up originally good high, so old people are still so high, high Chuchu half head hand holding her as if to lift a watermelon. "Soon, soon," said Taib with a smile. We're not going to die soon enough. How to move dead, too at the beginning of the brush smiled and thought there was a snake. Liangzai said, Liangzai is not your Abpa, your Liangzai Abpa said: dead on the move, don't haunt. When she came up, three old ladies were walking round and round with three identical faces, Rose Your name is Rosier I loved Rosier once when I thought a rose was a rose but it wasn't. You better go, girl. We'll pay the rent on time until we die.

I'm not a girl anymore, she said. It was dark when we left the house, but there was no light on when we looked up to the third floor. Only the old people's home downstairs and the apartment for sale were lit with pale and blood-red lights. Chu want to sell the house back, together with her father left her a small sum of money, you can buy a new house for yourself, give yourself a new life; She never really left Shadow and Mi, although they had left her. Live a new life; Not even going to work? Five minutes late don't need to wear shoes while running, she is almost 40 years old and has no skills, only a little accounting and has not taken the professional examination, lost the job is not to seek shadow shadow or Mi Kee. At that age she could not hope to meet anyone who would change her life. Her whole life was clear. Perhaps because of this, her father wanted to leave her a gift, a gift that could be large or small, a little bit of bad luck for her daughter's mother to buy stocks and lose a little bit, run out is equal to never; But if she wanted to, she could open a small shop selling useless things. She could leave Hong Kong and buy a small house for the rest of her life. If beautiful self-confidence can have a love? She is a woman who dare not speak loudly, like her father and mother, the whole family is very quiet all day long, sometimes mother will turn on the TV, a little sound, a little popular.