Early In the morning, Sam realized that Lloyd was not on the ship, he was on the field, analyzing the rocks, vegetation and the air. He joined him after few minutes. They both sat in silence, no conversation almost the whole day. In the evening they sat at the table sharing a bottle of whisky and a pack of smokes.
“Why did you leave?” Sam asked out of the blue.
Lloyd was holding his head into his palms. Confused, he asked:
“The ‘New Home’ program. Why?”
Way too exhausted and drunk, Lloyd started to share personal details with Sam, something that was not typically him.
“Well, I don’t know your story, but I didn’t choose to leave for the money, or to run away from something. I wanted…” Long beat. “I wanted a bit of time with myself; to find myself? I don’t know, I’m talking shit right now.”
“Well, you have a family, and a nice life back there,” Sam replied curiously.
“It’s not all about that. It’s not always about what you have. Sometimes is about what you don’t have. What you really want. Something, maybe, that you were too scared to find out about yourself.”
The silence between them became awkward. Thus, Sam continued.
“I left because my relationship with my fiancée wasn’t the best. We were constantly fighting.” Took another sip of whisky. “She thought I was cheating on her and shit like that. You know how they react: ‘Oh, Sam, you’re not giving me enough attention, blah, blah, blah.’” Lloyd smiled.
“What shitty excuses we have…”
The breakfast was ready. They did not seem to notice their each other’s ghostly appearance. Lloyd went to a lightless and claustrophobic corner of the kitchen. Sam took a last glance at him, hoping to find relief and hope. Nothing.
“What are we going to do today?” Sam said staring at the floor. Long beat.
“I don’t know,” Lloyd replied.
Sam stood up and walked slowly towards Richard.
“What about more scouting?”
“What for? there is no point.” He took a sip of coffee and passed Sam, walking towards the sink. With anger, he slammed the mug.
“WE ARE FUCKING DEAD!”
Sam, scared, he easily approached Lloyd and tried to comfort him.
“OK. I get the fact that you are angry. I am too, remember? We are in the same boat. But these few days that we’ve got left, let’s make worth living. Enjoy every second of it." Long beat. “Look, I don’t know about you, but I kind of accepted it, you know. I’m going to die soon. So, what? Right now, I want to do everything that I couldn’t do on Earth because of this so-called-morality.”
Lloyd turned around in tears.
“Enjoy it…? Can’t you see that there’s nothing here? It’s just the two of us on a fucking planet. There’s nothing we can do.” Long beat. “It’s done!”
A moment of silence between them.
Sam was thinking and suddenly snapped his fingers and pointed to Lloyd.
“What about that lake we saw yesterday?”
Lloyd, confused, replied, "What about it?”
Sam smiled and went straight to the exit door. Lloyd, confused, replied, "What about it, Sam?" He followed him.
With nothing to lose, they both went there and stood on the highest rock looking down to the lake.
“Are you sure you want to do this? This is like 35 feet high”
“I don’t know. It looks more like I-don’t-give-a-fuck high.”
Lloyd, still having doubts about the idea, said, "What if the water is contaminated? We haven’t tested it yet.”
“Let’s just do it, OK?”
They both smiled and started undressing naked. They did few steps back and at Sam’s count they both ran towards the edge and jumped. Lloyd was the first one who got above the water, worried because he couldn’t see Sam, he started shouting.
“Sam?” He whispered. “Where the fuck are you?
After few seconds, something pulled him under the water. It was Sam. They both laughed and got out of the water. When they got back to the ship, Sam took a shower and got out just in a towel. Lloyd was checking him shyly. Sam noticed it. He slowly went towards Lloyd. “I think I’m going to take a shower as well. Did you save some hot water for…” Lloyd couldn’t finish his thought and Sam pushed him on the kitchen table; with his left hand he pulled his head towards him for a kiss, and with the right hand he grabbed his bulge. Lloyd, surprised, forcefully grabbed Sam’s neck and arm and pushed him away not too far, just to prevent the kiss. Gasping, he said: “What are you doing?” Sam got closer and closer until they both touched foreheads. “No morality, right?” They both were heavily breathing on each other’s faces.
“I’m not gay.”
Their mouths came together hard, stumble rasping, Lloyd took his clothes off in a rush without interrupting the kiss and slowly, they went into his bedroom. Late in the evening, the room smelled like semen, cigarettes, and whisky. Lloyd got up, scratching his coarse belly and blonde pubic hair, poured some leftover coffee, and went back in the bedroom. He sat down, spread-eagled on the floor against the bed, still half tumescent, with Sam in his arms, both watching the stars and planets through the roof window.
“I’ve always wanted to visit Greece,” Sam said, nostalgic.
“It’s nice out there,” Lloyd said after a long beat. "I can talk you through it, if you want.”
Sam turned his head to Lloyd and both smiled. He continued.
“Great weather, beautiful places, narrow alleys, great night life. They have this thing called souvlaki or something like that. It is heaven on Earth.” He took a long drag from Sam’s cigarette and after a long beat he continued: “Beautiful women.” He stopped.
“So, what’s next?” Sam said.
“I don’t know.”
The silence bounced and fell off their minds right between them.
“Are you ready to die?” Lloyd asked, troubled.
“Everybody has to die, right? Some because they deserve to, others die simply because they want to. I don’t feel like this is a divine punishment or some shit like that.” He took a drag out of the cigarette and continued. “My life wasn’t some precious thing to me, to be honest. I don’t think I would trade my honor and my dignity for few more years of… of what? My life was pretty rough. I learned how to die a long time ago.”
Lloyd smiles because he, weirdly, finds comfort in his words.
“So, we die?” Lloyd said.
“Yes, we die. We die happily ever after.”