Lulling

He is dreaming of touch. He is dreaming of melting with another person.

Melting and combining with him.

Drinking in his atoms and his molecules and his fears and his pain.

To sustain the pleasure in between the pain--- to stop the pain, that would be something completely satisfying to Satchel. More than sexual pleasure. More than anything in the entire world.

He knows that Exis, his true love, has always had this lingering pain. A malaise that cannot be diagnosed, or fixed by any type of medicine or magick.

They had just recently shared a wonderful dinner date wherein Exis had made them a lovely soup and they shared dark chocolate and Merlot together; yet something unspoken between them left the night missing something.

Satchel ruffled through his brown, unruly hair---a chill down his spine as he thought of his dream.

But his dream was muted. Even in his dreams, he tried to be a gentleman to his boyfriend----the one he cherished and protected.

But in between the sighs and the guttural moans----there was something raw and brutal between their lovemaking in the dream---and Satchel needed to see Exis. Tonight.

Today.

Soon.

But, he wrote a poem for his love to try to evocate his feelings, to express to Exis somehow---what he was really, truly feeling inside.

I find myself in between the platform

of sustained mortality,

an underworld of my own making

like Persephone, I dined upon the pomegranate seeds;

I now am in a state of living death.

But when I see you, I breathe anew

I am alive, bursting with fresh new breath,

And we combine,

and you keep me awake

and I keep you from

nightmares;

a phantasmagoria of life and imagined fears and pains.

He looked over it, and almost threw it away. But, even as he knew Exis was sort of laid back and sarcastic at times, and not really that serious---- at the very least, he knew that anything he gave to Exis would never be remarked in scrutiny or ridicule. Possibly a well placed, well meaning joke, but nothing mean.

He wrote a second poem. Something to suit Exis' persona.

I need your touch to

pulverize my very bones,

my soul you have deftly touched---but nothing can go too deep

no, you are in my very voice,

in my song,

my breath

and I long to synch our colliding,

fervent, grasping

caress

into something worse, something so painful

We both never feel pain ever

again.

It had been awhile, Satchel thought, since they had been truly intimate. Timing being all off, situations just not being in order, it just hadn't happened in a good long while---and Satchel was never the kind to keep quiet about such matters.

Unless, it came to Exis---he tried to be gentle. He knew that past traumas and fear overcame his slightly smaller beau, yet he also knew that Exis hated to be babied.

So, he would give Exis the poems.

Then, he would tell him.

Satchel sighed. He made a very strong batch of black tea.

He added a touch of cream.

He drank it slowly, and went outside, closing his deep, round brown eyes.

He pictured it:

Rocking and back forth, pinned against him----hands tightly locked together,

crying out, screaming out-----kissing each other over and over to drown out the

passion, but failing to.

turning him over, No, not turning over, just looking at him

deep in the eyes, as they make love, as they penetrate each other in

their stares,

they make slow, sweet, tender love----

Satchel opened his eyes and realized he almost spilled his tea, and he mentally chastised himself.

His face was hot, as was his ears.

He coughed, and then cleared his throat.

"Intimacy is hard, but you make it easy..." Exis had told him once, and it had made Satchel so happy, for intimacy was a difficult thing to master.

Especially when it came to trust, and openness.

He brought his China tea cup inside, cleaning up a bit. He decided to go into town, with his two poems, and then he'd go over toward Exis' house to see if he was there to talk.

He saw someone else on the way, an acquaintance of his and a good friend of Exis, Sloan and his son. Though, he called him Derrick.

"Buongiorno, Derrick," Satchel said with a wave.

Sloan was holding hands with his young son Leo, and they both said hello at the same time. Leo gave his father an upturned expression with wide eyes, of mild annoyance with a mixture of impending mild indigestion. Leo was holding stomach in discomfort.(He ate too much for breakfast.)

Sloan caught on, looking at Leo with his peripheral, but also noticed Satchel carrying two sheets of paper.

"What're you two doing this fine morning?" Satchel asked.

Leo crinkled his nose. "What's with that accent?"

Sloan shook his head. "OhmyGod," He muttered, "I am so sorry, Satchel, Leo doesn't have a filter. Leo, you know Satchel is British."

Leo nodded, but blinked and looked innocent.

"Unlike like a tea bag, he is something like loose tea leaves, would that be safe to assume then?" Satchel teased them, and Sloan chuckled---though it was a bit forced. He was a tired, single father after all.

"He's got that little fancy English type of accent. Like he thinks he is better than everyone!" Leo said with a obnoxious laugh; the very vibrant and wild mane that represented his hair bouncing as he did so.

Sloan sighed, ignoring Leo, but mentally adding to talk to Leo of social politeness later on in private, and said to Satchel, "We were out running a few errands. You got some business to run as well?" Sloan pointed to the papers.

Satchel nodded, but betrayed himself with a blush.

"Why, yes...I...I do. I was going to see Exis. Is he at home?"

Sloan looked at him thoughtfully, and nodded, "He is asleep, I believe."

"Oh, dear. Asleep? Its nearly mid morning Tea."

Leo laughed with a snort. "Mid morning pee, he says!" He slapped his knee at his own antics, and laughed harder.

Sloan sighed. "Stop it, now, he said tea!" He said with a barely contained loss of patience.

Satchel shrugged. "It's all right, Derrick. I understand children are not mature enough to understand social dignities. I will be off."

"Wait, I was wondering what those papers were, if its not too personal?" Sloan asked.

"Oh, I was writing some things to Exis." Satchel bit his lip, and said, "Do you want to read it? I saw you eyeing it earlier."

Sloan decided to tread carefully on this one, and shook his head politely. "Thank you, but we must be going. Have a good day."

"Aw! I wanted to read the icky, nasty love letters!" Leo said, making Sloan cringe at his son.

"Leo, you must be feeling ill. Let's get you back home to take a nap!" Sloan said sternly, but caringly.

Leo shook his head vehemently. "No, dad! I'm fine. I'll behave!"

Satchel chuckled softly and walked off with an obligatory wave. "Have a tolerable day, Leo. And Derrick, try to take care of yourself!"

Sloan sighed with a nod of acknowledgement, and rubbed his temples as they walked away.

Satchel decided to also pick up a bit of crusty bread and cheese for breakfast with a bit of fatback bacon----he might as well make Exis something to eat.

He had overdone it though(as he usually did), and his arms and hands were overflowing with items for his beloved, putting the original idea of seeing him on the back burner.

But, he just really wanted to see Exis, so he went over and attempted to knock on the door.

"Go away!" He heard the muffled reply. Satchel looked bemused and sighed.

"It's Satch, darlin'!"

Immediately, the door opened. Satchel looked at Exis, who looked worn out, his messy bun even more messy than usual, and his eyes looking tired.

"What's ya got there, baby?" Exis said with a pronounced yawn, gesturing for Satchel to come in.

"Food. Sustenance. I heard you were sleeping in. I must make you some sort of a nutritious breakfast. From the sounds of it, you need something. You are very cranky."

Exis smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the side of his mouth. "Oh, man. I am starving. You're right."

"You have tea, Exis, dear?" Satchel asked, putting down the various ingredients.

"Maybe somewhere." Exis scratched his back and looked at him sleepily. "I can start up the kettle."

Satchel smiled. "Thanks."

"Sloan keeps a fire going usually throughout the day for cooking. We have this cast iron...." Exis sighed guiltily. "Satch, you do know you don't have to cook for me, right?"

Satchel nodded. "Yes, I do know that. I wanted to. Now, please... let me cook for you, love. And, please.... read this at your convenience." He handed Exis the papers.

Immediately, after Exis had gotten some well water for the kettle, Satchel cracked some eggs into the hot cast iron pan over the fire, laying some freshly sliced fatback bacon next to it.

"There is some bread and cheese as well to accompany the meal," Satchel said as Exis got the cups ready for the tea.

Exis was finally waking up(he had stayed up way too late last night, not being able to sleep). With Satchel's exuberant and happy go lucky personality, it was giving him a feeling of belonging and family, much like being with Sloan and Leo---but much more intimate and deep.

Satchel poured the boiling water into the waiting tea cups and let it steep---and they both breathed in the smells of everything cooking at the same time----thinking the same thing too.

'I am so lucky to have you.'

Exis took a sip of the still hot tea, and proceeded to read the notes Satchel left to him, as the other finished up cooking brunch.

He read both of them back to back. Then, he read them again.

He felt so light headed all of a sudden.

How could he be so in love with someone who seemed to loved him so much in return? Who actually cared about him, and wanted to see him succeed?

Who came here just to make sure he was eating something and taking care of himself---and gave him homemade, hand-written poems?

Exis grinned, and put the papers down carefully.

"Darling, are you ready to eat?" Satchel said softly, getting the plates ready.

All of a sudden, he felt warm arms wrap around his mid-section, and a light squeeze---and he turned slightly to see Exis grinning with his eyes closed.

"Thank you, Satch. For being here. For everything. You're everything to me."

The words came out softly, slowly, but in a certain and sure fashion---making Satchel melt.

"I take it you liked my poems?" Satchel said with a soft laugh, leaning into the embrace.

"Oh, yes, I did. They were.... perfect."

No other words were said as they took each other's hand, the soft glow of their meal creating activities giving the room an ambiance of trust and tranquility---something that they couldn't quite put into words yet as they looked into each other's eyes, it was understood.

They leaned in, and Satchel closed the gap as they had a light, playful kiss---at first, but Exis placed his hand on Satchel's neck, trailing up to his cheek, and they kissed with tongue---a breathless whimper coming from one of their throats---and Exis finding his way into Satchel's lap with his arms around his neck, they held each other for awhile, kissing in short intervals of deep, fast paced kisses, then after, a smaller, slower peck on the lips.

They lost track of time, and then Satchel said in a bit of a tiff, "Oh, dear, what about the tea? And breakfast?"

"I am eating it now!" Exis said happily, kissing Satchel on the ear with a nibble.

Satchel moaned softly at the touch, deciding to be a bit more open now since Exis was in such a good mood.

"Exis, my love?"

Exis looked at him carefully, and then said as he slowly got up to get his plate of food, "Yeah, baby?"

Satchel bit his lip. "Mmmm, well..."

"Just spit it out, silly." He took a big bite of the bacon mixed with some yolky egg, "Yum, good food! Thank you!"

"Yes, Eggs and bacon seem to be a match."

Exis nodded. "Like you and I!"

Satchel laughed. "My, my, I must have put you in a good mood today, yes?"

"It's not everyday I get pampered this way. It is only when you are here." Exis looked at him seriously, "So, did you wanna tell me something?"

Satchel was getting a bit tired of his own shyness---this was someone he had known for thousands of years---throughout being a magical being, a shapeshifter who had been a cat---to being this shapely and well put together human who had found something beyond true love----

There was no more time to stall. No more lulls.

No more bullshit.

He went over to Exis, laid down right on his lap, a bit hard, and said eye level, "I am going to fuck you senseless... more often. A lot. Too right!" His British accent became a bit heavy and he looked at Exis expectantly, with wide eyes.

Exis' face was priceless, his amber eyes in awe and a little bit of surprise. "H-huh?" He still had some egg in his mouth and it spilled out onto the floor.

"So-sorry... but, I mean.... I want... uh.... oh, I...." Satchel felt self-conscious now, and looked down.

Exis laughed, throwing his head back. "Oh, man! Oh.... Satch.... you are.." He laughed harder. "You are so adorable."

"I meant I want to make love to you more!" Satchel said louder than he intended, and Exis gave him a funny look.

"Hah! You admitted it. You engage in pre-marital love with me?" He looked at Satchel with a direct stare that was teasing and loving at the same time. "You can't prove it."

Satchel rolled his rich brown eyes. "No, I admit...I will admit what I am going to do..." Satchel said in an increasingly slower, more seductive tone, making Exis stop all joking in expression and in his voice. "No. Actually, I am going to hear you tell me... everything in your dirty mind."

"Uh, make me," Exis said flatly. Satchel started to get up.

"Wa-wait! Where are you going?" Exis asked, whining that the familiar and fervent pressure of having Satchel sit on top of him was almost gone. As Satchel licked his lower lip, he started to take a step away from the other, and Exis panicked, grabbing Satchel by the hand and pulling him back on his lap. Satchel smirked.

"Okay! You win." Exis whispered loudly, and he leaned in, Satchel still sitting on Exis' lap--- to whisper in his ear.

"I knew I would," Satchel said arrogantly, but then he looked at Exis sweetly, nuzzling their noses together. Exis smiled a bit hesitantly, but then chuckled, hugging their faces together.

"I couldn't let you go."

Satchel smiled, a soft blush on his cheeks at Exis' words. Sometimes those kind of sentiments felt more real and deep than a simple I love you could ever say.

"Exis, sweetheart, we have been together for a long time. Tell me something new you'd like to try. I will still come out on top... haha, so to speak..."

Exis rolled his eyes. "Oh, God, you are so weird."

Satchel laughed. "You like that about me."

"I want you to get on top of me..." Exis started, biting his lip, "But not the way you think..."

"How?" Satchel asked curiously.

"I mean... I want you to sit on me... and I want you to ram yourself in my mouth....over and over again..." Exis said, making Satchel moan involuntarily. "I want you to know that it was me who made you harder than you ever felt before..."

They both grinded up against each other, still fully clothed.

"Then, I....will bend over, and you can lick me everywhere...." Exis drawled out, his hands gently leaving soft trails along Satchel's slender fingers and arms. "I'll touch myself in front of you..."

"Then what, darling?" Satchel managed to whimper out, appreciating the candor.

Exis doesn't reply. He grinded harder into his lover's lap.

They both give each other a hard look.

Satchel kissed him suddenly, but it is softer, much softer than before, and Exis melts into the kiss. They both do.

They go to Exis' bed, and undress, and finally----

Satchel feels like they are combining, and melting, and becoming one.

Again and again, there is no lull in between. No pain. No fear.

They go over the new foreplay like it had been done a million times, drinking in each other's desperation and fervid jumps to passion with the most intimate knowledge in the touches, to qualm the anxiety and the pain----with the rushing, flowing freefall of multiple orgasms.

_________________________________________

These characters are the sole property of my good friend Ashton. All related backstories, personas, relationships, etc are also sole property of Ashton. I only take credit for the writing! Love you, Ash! Thank for creating these people. Thank you and hope you enjoyed this story!

-Melissa