Lucky

It was the Bronx, NY in November of 2008 on the Grand Concourse. There she was leaving the train station, prancing down the block in her dark brown suede Vivienne Westwood boots and a double breasted camel vintage Dior trench coat. Oh! the bag, the bag was a vintage classic navy blue monogram printed Gucci tote. Everything was vintage. It made her feel like she was in another world far from one she existed in. She was a vivacious creature. Tall, about 5’10, dark cocoa skin, slender with legs for days. Her talents knew no end: drawing, singing, dancing, sewing. It was like something out of a Jane Austen book. But Lucky wasn’t so lucky. This beautiful creature lived in a rough neighborhood. And it was hard being her, because Lucky was non-binary. She was sometimes bullied on the trained and had been robbed a few times but that didn’t knock her down. Lucky had a troubled childhood, a surviver of rape and child molestation. Into her adult life she contemplated committing suicide but fashion saved her life. It was seeing the those beautiful garments in Vogue magazine that kept her going. She was accepted into the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. Lucky majored in the fashion styling program. And was finishing up an internship with Oscar De La Renta. She dreamed about leaving New York because it was too hard in terms of competition and work lifestyle. Not mention being non-binary made her sometimes a walking target if she could not pass for being a woman.

His name was Jose

One day on her way to Manhattan on the D train, she saw this very handsome latino trade staring at her. He wore a black oversized parka jacket, baggy grey denim and retro black, white and red Jordans. Lucky couldn’t help herself but stare back. The handsome man sat next her. He said, “you look very beautiful tonight.” Her hair was styled short in a pompadour fashion. She was wearing a black motorcycle jacket, a black silk asian inspired floral printed blouse and fitted barely bootcut dark wash denim with black faux snake skin six inch pump. Her perfume of Dior J’adore caught his nose and he complimented her again. The conversation lasted for about five minutes before he asked for Lucky’s number. This was the first time in a long time someone approached her with ease and respect. Indeed she felt lucky.

The first time with Jose

They had been dating for a couple weeks. Jose was closeted. So Lucky would only go out with him to secluded places. Jose invited her over on a Friday night. She wore a denim jacket, black nylon catsuit from American apparel and white, black, purple and gold uptown Nikes. Jose loved the way Lucky dressed; so sensual and cool he would say. He bought a bottle of wine and take out from a Dominican restaurant. Over dinner they discussed their plans for the future. Lucky really wanted to leave New York, she had enough of the city life and wanted to start her own styling company somewhere quiet. Jose wanted to have a family and wanted to continue working for the company he was currently employed at. Lucky thought to herself, “oh no…I couldn't bare another year in this Dumpy city, how would I make this relationship work...” Somewhere between the wine and the octopus salad Jose kissed Lucky and grabbed her with his big strong hands. Jose’s muscular physique pressed up against Lucky’s slender body and her mind just floated away.

The Mask is off

It was the next day, sunny and bright outside. After they made love. Lucky was in bliss. She forgot about that thought of incompatibility from earlier. Lucky got out of bed in her boy shorts and oversized white half shirt and walked over to the window to greet the day. Jose was still in the bed, he look over and asked Lucky to get away from the window. She looked at him with a mischievous smile and looked out the window. In a fit of rage, he screamed, “Get your shit, and get out! You gotta go!”. “Are you kidding?” “Nope you need to leave.” Lucky was dumbfounded. What the hell just happened. Fearfully, she quickly through on her jeans, grabbed her belongings and left. When she got outside, Lucky threw on her shades and in tears walked to B train. Half way to the train station, Jose called her. She decided to answer after the fourth phone call. He asked her to come back to discuss what happened. When Lucky returned to Jose’s apartment they talked about the incident. Jose was upset about Lucky looking out of window due to his closeted nature. She apologized but was still upset and embarrassed. The anger did not go away. After that day, Lucky didn’t hear from Jose. “I’m so fed up with this…just when you think you’ve found a good one he turns out to be a real jackass!”

Luck is always on your side

It was cold Winter day in December, Lucky wasn’t feeling so good about life in general. She was with someone that only wanted her in the dark and felt stuck in a neighborhood she hated. She felt trapped in her body and in New York. Around noon, she checked her mailbox which was located on the first floor of her building. It smelled like piss every time she went down to the mailbox room. As she rambled through the mail on her way back to her apartment, she saw a letter from an attorney's office in Las Vegas, Nevada. As she opened the letter and read its contents; she discovered her godmother had passed and left her $20,000. All she would have to do is contact the office and make the proper arrangements. She thought to herself, “I’m so outta here!”. With tears of joy, she held the letter close to her heart, gave thanks to her deceased godmother and thanks to the universe for looking out for her. She placed the letter in her little black book on page 84 for sentimental reasons and began journaling about her day and the new life she is starting. Lucky felt all her worries begin to drift away.

Away she goes

It had been three months since Lucky received that letter and she was determined to start a fresh new path. She was able to find work in Atlanta, Georgia as a stylist for the fashion magazine Vivè. The magazine helped her with finding affordable apartment that happened to be a suburban area. As she was wrapping the last of her items in storage boxes, she received a text from Jose. Mind you, she hadn't heard from him nor reached out to him since the window incident. He wanted to see her; he was sorry for the way he treated her. She got the sense that Jose was feeling lonely. But as the girls says “Pay ‘em with dust” She called him, brought him up to speed on where she was in life and he no longer was apart of her life. She never wanted to feel entrapped again. “Jose, it took so many years for me to feel comfortable in my skin”, she explained. “I cannot and will not go back into a box so you can feel like a man.” She knew this conversation would bother him for the rest of his life because she was kind, she showed no judgement towards his circumstance and she spoke the truth. After hanging up the phone, she packed the rest of bedding, loaded the boxes into the U-hal truck. As she grabbed her vintage Gucci tote bag, she took one last look at the neighborhood she use to live in, she wanted to leave behind the horrible experiences of men taunting her while she on her way to the train. She wanted to forget the piss smell hallways of her apartment complex. Lucky felt washed and clean. While Janet Jackson’s song If played in background, she drove away.