Losing Yourself on a Saturday Night Date...
How One Woman Lost (and Found) Herself in the Same Night
“I’ve got something to tell you…”
“Hold on, let me get a glass of wine…” I could hear her walking away from the phone.
“Okay, I’m back.” I could hear the leather creak as she sat on her couch. “You know I have to prepare myself when you start our conversations with ‘I’ve got something to tell you…’”
“Whatever. But seriously… I do have something to tell you…”
“Okay, okay… I’ll guess. You failed biochemistry?”
“NO! Why would you think that?”
“You bought a car?”
“No. You know I love my Brown Bear.”
“You need to get rid of that jalopy… anyway, lemme see…”
Before she even had a chance to propose her next assumption, I screamed excitedly, “I HAD SEX!!”
I hear the phone the clatter to the floor.
I hear her fumbling to pick it up and with a cough in her voice, she declares,” I just choked on my wine! Are you serious?! Never mind, I know you’re not.” I can hear take a sip of wine to calm herself; like she knows she has the right answer this time.
“Why would I make something up like that?” I ask inquisitively.
“Because medical school comes before ANYTHING right now, ESPECIALLY sex,” she says calmly.
“Well… I had sex.” I say definitively.
“Seriously?” in a high octave.
“No shit?” in a higher octave.
“No fucking shit,” I say dryly.
“So, let me be extremely clear, you mean to tell me you are not a virgin anymore?” she asks in the highest octave possible while slowly emphasizing the word “virgin.” I honestly didn’t think her voice could get that high.
In the most monotone voice I can muster, “No, I’m not a virgin anymore.”
I hear her take a gigantic deep breath and begin to verbally vomit through the phone. “OH MY FUCKIN GOD!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!! WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME RIGHT AFTER?! I NEED PROOF!!! I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! WHAT HAPPENED?! ARE YOU OKAY?! I GUESS I SHOULD’VE ASKED THAT FIRST! WHAT HAPPENED?! I WANT EVERY! SINGLE! DETAIL! OH MY GOD!!!”
“Okay, okay, okay,” I say through fits of laughter. If anyone would be excited, it would be her. “You need to calm down first! You are going to explode!!”
“Girl, you know I’ve said the same thing about you! I’m serious!! You’re holding out on the details!!
“Okay, well you know how we’ve…”
“WAIT!! I think I need the WHOLE bottle of wine for this, maybe TWO! Hold on!” This time, I hear the phone crash to the floor and her feet quickly padding across her tiled floor. She returns huffing and puffing.
“Okay… *HUFF* I’m back… *PUFF*”
“Damn! You just acted like you had to run to the basement! Your kitchen is like only 10 steps from your living room.”
“Girl… I need to be present for every single bit of this. Now GO!”
I laugh at her excitement because she always gets thrilled about the big things that happen in my life, especially because I downplay them so much. But that’s the beauty of our friendship.
“Okay… you know how we’ve been kinda dating for a while now, right?”
“Yes?” She asks hesitantly.
“Well, all of this started off as usual, nothing out of the normal…”
Thursday: Phone Conversation
“You’ve been studying for that Anatomy test for quite some time. Hasn’t it been like a week and a half? Don’t you need a break?”
“Yes, it has, but I’m okay. At this moment I’m not studying; I’m lying on my bed talking to you,” my voice smiled through the phone.
“Good, you need to take some time for yourself. You study too much. You’re always staying after class and studying late; even if it is like one o’clock in the morning! You’re going to make your brain ooze out of your ears,” he said in a concerned manner.
“I appreciate the concern, but the exam is this Friday, and it’s over five chapters. Professor Johnson has been brutal this semester, so I’m just trying to keep up. By the way, when do you study? If you’re calling me, that means you’re not studying,” I said in a serious manner. “Remember, we are all going to graduate together!”
In a fake fatherly tone, he stated, “Your concern is not about me young lady. I am studying, and if you must know, I study with the study groups. I learn best with others.”
“Good, because I was going to offer you the option to study with me, but you’ve got it under control. My concern is not about you, right?” I said mockingly.
“Right! Now… I’d like another opportunity to take you out again, even though this would be like the fifth or sixth time.” This time, I hear his smile through the phone.
I giggled and said, “Of course! However, can it be after Friday’s exam?”
“Yes, and it will be on Saturday. I’m not taking no for an answer!”
“Okay, I’ll probably need to relax by then. Saturday it is!
“I’ll see you Saturday!”
I felt like an excited high school girl when I hung up the phone. Today was Thursday, and I had two more days before my date. I had to hold it together, so I could focus on the upcoming exam.
“Okay,” I told myself, “Focus on the exam first, then the date.”
And with that, I opened my Anatomy book and went back to studying.
In between getting snacks, getting up from my chair so my legs wouldn’t fall asleep, and checking my email (freakish habit), I couldn’t help my mind wandering to thoughts of my enjoyment of being with him. He was so easy to talk to. He understood my need for comfortability. I thought about the first time he took me out to a party hosted by one of his friends. He could instantly tell that I was completely uncomfortable, however he was such a gentleman. Instead of making me endure his friend’s party, he took me to a quaint little coffee shop just two blocks away. We talked about movies, art, food, books (MY FAVORITE!!), politics, everything! When we looked up, the last two employees were folding table linen, putting chairs on tables, mopping floors; preparing for the next day. I couldn’t have had the perfect date if I had planned it myself.
Saturday Night Date: The Pickup
I opened the door with my hair in my shower bun, housecoat and mismatched socks on, and glasses on top of my head.
“Hello.” He had that 'Denzel swag,' and his voice had a similar drawl.
“Hi!! Come in!!” I opened the door wider and moved to the side to welcome him into the apartment. As soon as he stepped in, I immediately rushed off to finish getting dressed. “I just need five more minutes!”
“That’s fine. Take your time,” he smiled as he shut the door.
I rushed off to my bedroom and saw my black cat nestled on my clothes. In one swift move, I pushed him onto the floor. “No! I’ll see you later tonight” I scolded. He walked slowly away from me as if I’d hurt his feelings and disappeared into another room.
I quickly put on my black tights, fitted plain white shirt, and black sandals. I left my hair in my shower bun, pulled my glasses down to my nose, and walked out of my bedroom.
“Ready!” *SMILE* Even though this was our fifth or sixth date, I still got nervous; butterflies in my stomach like I was back in high school. My hands were sweating.
“You look great!” he said, even though I wore a variation of the same thing every time we went out.
“Thank you.” I felt the heat rising to my face and realized that I was blushing. “So do you.”
“Thank you. You ready?”
“Yes!” My emphasis was more so I could get some fresh air to cool off. This nervous energy was setting my body ablaze, but this happened each time we went out. I should’ve been used to it. As we leave, my cat magically reappeared from somewhere in the apartment. This was the first time he had ever come out from his various hiding places to “walk me” to the door,” so to speak. With his consistent emotionless face, he licked his tongue out at me as if to say the driest “bye,” jumped on the couch, and curled up in the corner.
“I didn’t know you had a cat?”
“Yeah, he’s totally not a people-person,” I said as I shut and lock the door behind me.
Saturday Night Date: Somewhere Special
“I’m taking you somewhere special tonight, especially to celebrate your hard work in preparing for the exam and for it being over.”
“Yes! Thank God it is, but shouldn’t you be celebrating as well? I saw you in the lecture hall with your head bent over your exam, feverously working,” I said smiling.
“Yes, but tonight is about you,” he winked. There was that rush of heat rising to my face again. I smiled but quickly looked out my window to avoid his gaze. I cracked the window to get some fresh air and felt immediate relief as the cool night air blew on my warm face. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath to steady myself, and thought, “Why am I this jittery? This isn’t our first date…” But something felt different.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” he winked.
I was excited and nervous all at the same time. He knew my need for comfortability but deep down in the recesses of my soul, a small part of me was afraid of the unknown.
A few minutes later, we arrived at my favorite park. In the distance, I could see a table dressed in white linen billowing in the night breeze; the candle light on the table illuminating the way. As we walked to the table, I surprisingly asked…
“What is this?”
“Our date,” he said with that same Denzel drawl.
“How and when did you have time to put this together?! Studying?! The exam?! And…” So many thoughts were trying to escape that I couldn’t get them out.
Smiling, he took my hand, looked me dead in my eyes, and said “That is not a worry of yours. I just wanted tonight to be special for you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I had never had anyone take the time to make me feel so special. I felt like I was in a fairy tale, and the prince had taken me to a ball… with no people, that is. I finally had become the princess that I always saw on tv.
A waiter, who appeared out of thin air, broke the fairy tale energy between us.
“You even got a waiter to serve us as well?!” I asked in amazement.
“Yes,” he chuckled. He knew I wanted to ask how, so he stopped me before I did, “Remember what I said, none of tonight’s details are your worry. I just want you to enjoy.” He smiled that beautiful smile that I came to know so well.
I took a deep breath and released all my anxiety about the evening. As the dinner progressed, I felt my body start to relax and my senses beginning to take over; the smell of the fresh night air, the flickering of the candle on the table, the wind blowing through the trees, the wonderful taste of the food that was prepared just for the two of us.
The touch of his hand on mine…
The touch that sent electrifying shocks all through my body, especially to my…
“Tonight was amazing! Is this going to happen after every exam we take?”
He shrugged his shoulders and smirked, “Maybe.”
“Well just know that this will definetly make me study hard.”
He looked at me and smiled. “May I kiss you?”
The stars could not have been anymore aligned than right at this moment. How long have I waited for him to speak those words to me? Here was my glorious moment to make my dreams come true.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Like when our hands touched during dinner, there was this electric shock that enveloped my body, except this time it awakened every sexual nerve that I never knew I had. It was as if my mind didn’t know what to do but my body did. I opened my mouth slightly so that our tongues could meet each other for the first time. He gently bit on my lower lip and I felt a rush of heat between my legs. I felt a strong throbbing of want and desire that I had never felt before. Every single cell in body was intensely vibrating and wanting him.
He broke our passionate kiss and told me it was time to take me home. I smiled and nodded; the heat between my legs still at one thousand degrees and the throbbing still feeling like a bass drum had removed all the words from my vocabulary. I couldn’t speak. I could only think of one thing…
Saturday Night Date: The Return Home
As he walked me to my door, we begun to hold hands. The heat and throbbing had subsided slightly while in the car, but his touch turned the dial back to one thousand.
“I hope you enjoyed yourself?”
“Could you not tell?”
“I figured you did, but I just wanted to be sure.”
“Well let me ease your mind, it the most perfect evening I have ever had,” I said.
Never having a brave bone in my body, I asked him if he would like to come in for a moment.
“I thought your cat wasn’t a people person?” he laughed.
“He doesn’t pay the rent,” I said, side eyeing him.
I cut the light on as we enter my apartment, and there was my cat standing in the middle of the floor like a parent waiting for a child to come back from a date. He gave us the once over and slowly walked out of the room. Before he exited, he looked back at us and let out a “meow,” as if to say, “I’m watching you two.”
“I don’t think your cat likes me.”
“Now it’s my turn to tell you what you told me.”
“He’s not a worry of yours,” I smiled.
We both laughed and relaxed… well, he relaxed. My body was still hot and bothered. I was holding my legs together as tight as possible and slightly rocking back and forth, back and forth to feel some sort of pleasure and relief from the electric tension, hoping that he didn’t notice my movement. He did.
He put his hand on my thigh, looked me in my eyes and with that Denzel drawl said, “I really like you. I mean, I really like you; as a person. I’m also really attracted to you. I have been since we first met. I can tell that you like me too, but I want you to be comfortable with whatever happens between us going forward…”
I put my finger over his mouth to stop him. I didn’t know where this bravery came from suddenly; maybe it was the arousal between my legs.
“Yes, I like you too, like really like you. Spending time with you has been wonderful, but before we move forward, I have something I need to tell you…” I looked down at the floor. This was the moment of truth.
“What is it?”
I paused for what felt like an eternity, and then I heard the softest voice inside of me tell him, “I’m… I’m a virgin.”
“Simply beautiful,” he said.
That was not the answer I was expecting to hear. I was expecting a barrage of questions like: “How could I still be a virgin in this day in age? Aren’t I too old to not have had sex? Is my vaginal hole closed? Blah, blah, blah…” All the current stupid shit I’ve heard about virgins.
“Why?” I asked super inquisitively.
“Because it just is. I’m not going to give you some speech about how you waited to give this gift to the right person. The beauty is that you waited until it was right for you. That’s what so special about you.”
“Well, I really like you, and… I’d like to have sex with you,” I said timidly.
“…and I’d like to have sex with you too, beautiful.”
I looked up at him and slowly smiled. This time it was a smile of want and need. I gently took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom, but I abruptly stopped at the door. My bedroom was a mess: Clothes everywhere, books in the bed, piles of books on the floor, cups on the nightstand; just a complete mess. I began to verbally vomit the explanation of my mess while quickly trying to make the room look somewhat presentable. He began to laugh.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked nervously.
“No one is ever prepared for having sex, especially for their first time. Here, let me help you.” He brushed my cheek to calm my nerves. Calmly, he began to move the books from the bed and stacked them on top of the piles on the floor. When we finished, we sat next to each other on the side of the bed.
In a concerned manner he asked, “I don’t want you to think I’m rushing you. Are you sure this is what you want?”
“With you… yes, I do.”
Having no more words left to say, we both move simultaneously to kiss again. This time our kiss carried the power of physical pleasure. I felt his tongue slowly twirling in my mouth as he played with mine. His hand softly caressed my face as if it was cashmere silk. His dick trapped in his pants, trying to answer the call of my hot, throbbing, now wet pussy. I closed my eyes and took a breath so that I felt every sensation possible. I never knew my body could yearn for something so intense.
He removed my shirt, unhooked my bra, and placed gentle kisses all over my neck and chest. His gentle kisses slowly moved down to my bare breast and my breath hitched as he flicked his tongue over my nipples. The sexual energy between us growing stronger with each trace of his tongue over my nipples; each touch to my body.
He continued to move his gentle kisses down my upper body until he reached the top of my tights. In one carefully calculated movement, my tights and panties landed softly on the floor. I felt my body begin to tense nervously as no man has ever seen me completely and fully exposed, but he lightly rubbed my stomach to ease my insecurities.
“Just say the word and we’ll stop. Not only do I want you to enjoy this experience, but I want you to be comfortable as well.”
“No… don’t stop.”
He continued to place soft gentle kisses on my body until he reached my pussy. It was like I was transported into an alternate reality. When he reached my pussy, he kissed her lips like he was kissing a sacred flower, like he didn’t want the petals to wilt from the intensity of his desire. As he continued to kiss her, I felt him loving flick my clit which caused my body to jump with ecstasy.
“You taste so good…”
I didn’t even know how to respond to his comment, all I knew was that I just didn’t want him to stop. He continued to taste me for what felt like an eternity and then he began kissing my mouth again. I tasted the sweet and salty juices of my pussy on his tongue and pulled him closer to me so that I could drink the both of us. Suddenly, I felt something inside of me and I melted…
I felt it massaging my pussy walls very tenderly and slowly going in and out… in and out… in and out… all while he was kissing me.
In one fluid movement, my back arched as high as the St. Louis Gateway Arch. I let out an even louder moan, “Uh….” He brought his fingers to my lips and I realized that they had been massaging me.
“Can you lick my fingers, please?”
I opened my mouth to enjoy the taste of my own juices on his fingers and felt something larger and harder rocking against my pussy; she slowly opening again; very methodically and carefully. I felt his lips planting soft kisses on my neck, and I was in complete sensory overload. Normally I had control over my physical reactions to outside stimuli so that people wouldn’t notice me, but my body had complete control over my mind. It seemed as if my body knew exactly what it needed. These responses were so foreign to me… but felt unlike nothing I had ever felt before.
He continued to land soft kisses on my neck and… I lost my breath. I realized that it was his dick asking to enter my pussy and she slowly letting him enter.
“Oh my God,” I said breathily.
I felt the heat radiating from his body as I pulled him even closer to me believing that our cells would osmose into one large vibrating entity. I heard his breathing become deeper and steady as he introduced himself to my pussy: In… out, in… out, in…. out…
“YES!!” I yelled. Our bodies moved rhythmically in sync to his gentle thrusts. Suddenly, I felt a strong, warm tingling sensation in my pussy. As he continued to introduce himself to her, the sensation became stronger and stronger. I didn’t want it to stop but was unsure of what was happening. As the sensation grew, the muscles in my legs began to tense, and suddenly waves and waves and waves of pure ecstasy poured over my body; beautiful colors filled my head, and every nerve ending in my body was standing on end. I was in total submission to what was occurring.
He was staring at me when I finally opened my eyes.
“How was it for you?”
I didn’t know where to begin. I was still in my pleasure induced haze. Tenderly, I said, “It was wonderful.” I looked down at my fully naked body and realized that I was completely exposed. Reality set in and I quickly tried to find a sheet to cover my body. He touched my arm to get my attention, “You’ve shared so much with me about you; mentally and now physically, and I am so grateful. You don’t have to hide from me.”
I saw the sincerity in his eyes. “Okay.”
We laid wrapped in the mess of sheets and our body fluids for the rest of the night talking about mindless things; enjoying the moment, enjoying the energy that we had created together.
Out of nowhere, my cat reappeared. He softly jumped on my bed and stared at us with that emotionless stare; like he knew what we had been doing. All three of us stared at each other waiting to see who would make the first move. The cat padded over to him, looked him dead in the eye, gave him the softest “meow,” curled up next to him, and went to sleep. We looked at each other in pure shock.
“I thought you said your cat wasn’t a people person?”
I shrugged my shoulders, “There is a first time for everything.” *SMILE*