Looking For Love

Part 1

She Stood there admiring herself in the mirror of the upscale, exclusive designer boutique. The strapless, red cocktail dress was form fitting with ruching, and showed off her dangerous curves; her high, round firm breasts and her “just right” ass, which reminded her of a perfect red cherry in that dress. “Da­-um!” she exclaimed to herself. She stepped one perfectly pedicured foot and then the other into a sexy pair of strapped M​anolo Blahnik stiletto high heels. She stood back to assess the complete picture. “Kick-­ass chick!....uh­huh! Yes ma'am!” she said to herself, pleased with her reflection. “Fierce!” she exclaimed as she snapped one hand in the air. “I bet Phillip won’t be able to keep his hands or anything else off of me tonight!” She thought. She knew she had been torturing her latest “target”; playing hard to get and just being a big tease. She had decided that tonight would be the night she let him think he had finally won her over!

Michelle Morrison was what her friend Charlotte had referred to as a “gold­-digger”. She had never worked a day in her life, but her bills got paid, and she always had a car to drive and money to spend. She was n​ot a gold­digger, she was constantly pointing out to Charlotte; there was just always a fine­-ass man “sponsoring” her lifestyle. Michelle had discovered at an early age that her looks could open wallets! She had never planned on letting the men in her life take care of her; it just worked out that way. What she h​ad planned on was snagging herself a rich husband somewhere along the way. She had unresolved issues in her past, and in her world, the only way to get closure was to become rich and wipe out that past; she had a chip on her shoulder and a point to prove.

As she stood there; the complete package of sexy cool confidence; she knew she could get any man she wanted. Yet, while she stood there basking in that confidence, she began to hear those cruel voices in her head. The ones she heard a thousand times since she was fifteen years old; the ones that taunted her—laughed at her. Then that laughter—that awful laughter she could not turn off.

♦♦♦♦

Michelle’s thoughts returned to the year her father died. She was fifteen and her brother was five. Until then, Michelle had always been treated like a princess. Her parents made sure she and her brother had a well­rounded childhood. They had been in soccer leagues, took music lessons, went to camp in the summer and on ski trips in the winter. Michelle also had ballet lessons, went to charm school and took tennis lessons.

Although Michelle’s father had worked at a good job and worked hard, his finances had been left over­extended from trying to give his family the lifestyle he thought they deserved. Michelle’s mother had to go to work after her father’s death, and it seemed like there was never enough of anything after that. Not enough money, not enough of the life she was used to, and not even enough apartment! The family had to move out of the house Michelle had always known as home. When she asked her mother about it, her mother just said “M​a petite,​ we don’t need this much house; but there’s another family who does.” She didn’t tell her children that she couldn’t keep up the mortgage and the bank was taking the house back. So, they had to leave their comfortable, upper­middle class neighborhood and all their extra­curricular activities, and move into a small two bedroom apartment, in another part of town known as “little Haiti, where Michelle’s mother slept on the couch so her kids could have their own space.

Even though the family had moved to the other side of town, Michelle’s mother had managed to keep her children in their private schools. Michelle didn’t know if that had been a blessing or a curse. She didn’t want to leave her friends, but then she had to deal with that snotty Debra Stone! Debra had been jealous of Michelle from the start, and once they got to high school things really got bad.

The boys were always vying for Michelle’s attention, but she only had eyes for Robert Stone, Debra’s brother. Robert was the local high school popular jock who always had several girls in his “girlfriend” rotation. But he never gave Michelle the time of day, and teased her as relentlessly as his sister did.

In spite of his teasing, Michelle was lovesick over Robert. Then, day of the big “Sadie Hawkins Day” dance, Michelle had summoned up the courage to ask Robert to the dance. He had said yes, he would go to the dance with her, and told her he would be by to pick her up on the night of the dance. Michelle was so excited, she rushed home to tell her mother all about her “date”. Michelle’s mother had helped her pick out just the right dress, and had helped her get ready for the dance; she even loaned Michelle her precious diamond earrings.

Michelle was ecstatic and could hardly contain herself as she waited for Robert to pick her up for the dance. After two hours had gone by, and Robert had not come to pick her up, Michelle felt dejected and confused and couldn’t understand why Robert had not shown up to take her to the dance. Michelle’s mother did not want her daughter to feel like she had been rejected and pointed out that maybe something happened to prevent Robert from taking her to the dance. She reminded Michelle that Dr. Stone was a very important person in town and maybe there was a good reason Robert did not come. She reassured Michelle that she looked beautiful and she should go to the dance and have a good time.

Michelle’s mother got her keys and her purse and drove Michelle to the Sadie Hawkins Day dance at the high school. As Michelle got out of the car, her mother told her how beautiful she looked and told her to go into the dance and have a good time. As Michelle’s little brother waved good­bye to her, her mother prayed and asked God to forgive her for hoping some disaster had occurred to prevent Robert from bringing Michelle to the dance.

When Michelle arrived at the dance, she was stunned to see Robert out on the dance floor with another girl. After the dance ended, Michelle walked up to him and asked him what happened; why didn’t he come and pick her up like he promised. Robert looked at Michelle and laughed as he loudly said in front of everybody at the dance, “Girl, my father is a d​octor and I ain’t going out with no broke­ass girl like you!” All Michelle heard was laughter. Everyone was pointing and laughing at her. Embarrassed, Michelle burst into tears and ran off as Robert, his friends, and everybody at the dance, just laughed at her.

Debra just plain old hated Michelle because in her words, “that heffa’ just thinks she is so­o­o­o fine!”—and every boy Debra liked, liked Michelle. Then, one day Debra overheard Michelle’s mother talking to her mother about losing their house and she spread the news all over the school, humiliating Michelle even more. Right then and there Michelle vowed she would get back at that skank a​nd her brother if it was the last thing she did!

♦♦♦♦

“Is everything alright Miss?” the saleswoman was knocking on the dressing room door. “Uh yeah...yes, everything is fine. I’m just changing back into my own clothes”, Michelle answered. “Ok Miss”, the saleswoman responded, “Let me know if you need anything.” Michelle looked at herself in the mirror and realized there were tears falling down her cheeks. “Damn!” she said, “Damn, damn, damn!!” She frantically grabbed her P​rada bag and snatched out a tissue to dab away those tears before her make­up got ruined; or even worse, the twelve hundred dollar dress! She quickly changed back into her own chic outfit, grabbed the shoes and dress and handed them to the saleswoman when she emerged from the dressing room. “I’ll take them” she said, “Please have them sent to this address”. She wrote down the address to her man’s swanky, exclusive, country club subdivision home and gave it to the saleswoman along with her Amex card; her b​lack Amex card. She felt a little “uppity” (Charlotte’s word) using that card. So what if it wasn’t really her account? So what if it was only an “authorized user” card (h​er name was on it!)? That saleswoman wouldn’t know the difference. All she knew was her fifteen percent commission on this eighteen ­hundred dollar sale! She felt better; her confidence returning, her coolness restored.

Michelle left the boutique and headed for the parking valet. She caught a glimpse of her sunlit reflection in one of the store windows. She noticed how her impeccable, cream colored linen pantsuit made her caramel skin look more tanned and her green eyes look even lighter than usual. “Go straight to hell Debra Stone; and your punk ­ass brother Robert too! Huh; son-of-­a­-doctor­-too-­good­-for­-me. Son-­of-­a-­bitch i​s more like it!!” She was lost in thought, thinking about how crushed she had felt when Robert rejected her. Michelle thought he probably turned out to be just a big ass broke sucka’ after all; or even....what if he turned out to be gay! That thought made her laugh at the thought of the big high school “jock”! It was early September, just before Labor Day, and she thought about her 20th ​year high school reunion. “I’ll show that skank and her monkey-­ass brother who can do what!” she thought. If her scheme went down right, she would be Mrs. “I-­have-­so­-much-­money-­you-­can-­kiss-­my-ass” when it was time for the reunion!

Michelle glanced at her watch and noticed it was twelve forty­five. “Shit!” she exclaimed, “I’m late!” She hurried to the parking valet and gave him her ticket. “I’m in a hurry! It’s the dark silver convertible ‘Benz” she impatiently told the valet as he scurried off to find her car. “Pump your brakes girl. It ain’t his fault you lost your focus” she chided herself. She felt a little guilty about being impatient to the valet, and when he returned, she gave him a million­dollar smile showing off her dimples, and making sure she looked right at him with those seductive eyes. It was the smile she gave when she wanted to set her trap on a “target”. The smile that made a man see her beauty radiate to the fullest—to the extent that he didn’t know whether he needed to pee or had a hard­on! Like all the other poor saps, the valet took one look at Michelle as he got out of the car and lost it. He dropped the keys, almost fell and got all choked up! Michelle handed him a ten­-dollar bill and said, very sweetly (in her best f​ake southern accent) “Thank you so-­o-­o much sweetie.” The man damn near lost consciousness!

“It’s about damn time!” Charlotte said as Michelle arrived at their table. “I’m jus’ about drunk! I really need to pee, but I can’t get up...can you go pee for me?” she giggled. “How many of these have you had?” Michelle asked as she moved Charlotte’s glass. “I don’t know; one...two...four!” Charlotte said. “Damn!” Michelle exclaimed. “Damn my ass!” Charlotte shot back. “You are almost an hour late!” Charlotte pointed out while trying to tap her watch—and missed! “Come on heffa’...let me get your ass to the ladies room” Michelle said as she pulled Charlotte out of her chair. “I’m not really drunk ya know; jus’ a lil’ bit slow. Those drinks were i​tty-­bitty and watered down” Charlotte explained while gesturing with her thumb and forefinger. “Come on girl” Michelle said as she dragged Charlotte off to the ladies room.

When they returned to their table, a waiter promptly appeared with menus and began reciting the specials. They both ordered the lite, grilled salmon salad. “Oh and an iced tea” Charlotte added, “and make it a Long Island.” “Make it a regular”​ Michelle corrected. “In fact, make it two” she added. “Fun crusher!” Charlotte said in a very accusing tone.

“Yeah, whatever—get over it!” Michelle shot back. “I need you to be able to think. Tonight is the night I’m gonna let Phillip think that he has finally convinced me h​e’s the one!” she said. “I don’t know why you keep going through this whole scenario over and over!” Charlotte replied. “Because...my reunion is coming up and I want Phillip to pop the question by Valentine’s Day” Michelle explained. “Why?” Charlotte asked dryly. “Because​...” Michelle sighed, “When I go to my reunion, I need to check that skank Debra and her sucka’-ass brother that’s why!” “You got i​ssues girl; and you need a damned personal valet to carry all that baggage you drag around!” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes. “Shut up heffa’...everybody’s got baggage” Michelle answered. “Yeah, but e​verybody else all ain’t on one long trip; draggin’ t​heir b​aggage around everywhere they go!” Charlotte pointed out. They both cracked up. “You are just stupid!” Michelle said when she caught her breath.

Just then the waiter arrived at the table with their lunch. “Um, excuse me, but can you lift heavy objects?” Charlotte asked the waiter. “Huh?” the waiter asked, looking confused. “Yeahhhh...” Charlotte said, pointing to Michelle; “she has a lot of b​aggage,​ and she needs somebody big and strong to carry it around for her!” “Wha­?” the waiter said, scratching his head. “The job comes with some good perks!” Charlotte finished. “Charlotte shut up!” Michelle said, clearly annoyed. “Ignore her”, she said to the waiter. “She had too many cocktails before lunch.” And while Charlotte was laughing, obviously at having cracked herself up, Michelle gestured as if taking a drink and mouthed the word “alkie” to the waiter, pointing to her friend. The waiter mouthed “Oh”, winked and discreetly disappeared. “I can’t take you nowhere!” Michelle hissed in a loud whisper.

After lunch, Michelle followed Charlotte back to her house. Michelle and Charlotte had met about six years ago at the hair salon. They were both having their hair done and Charlotte was sitting there “cuttin’ up” (Charlotte’s words); wisecracking and keeping everyone in stitches the whole time she was there. Michelle had struck up a conversation with her and they had hit it off right away. Even though Charlotte was older than Michelle, the two women had bonded almost immediately. Charlotte seemed to be able to bring a balance of realistic logic and just plain old fashioned common sense to reign in Michelle’s non­stop scheming plots. She became Michelle’s sounding­board, her confidant and best friend.

Charlotte was a tiny, petite little thing who, even in middle age, still had a figure to rival Michelle’s. She was smart and feisty, and she possessed a quickness with which she could outwit any sharp-­tongued adversary; young or old. She was basically a bored, suburban housewife going through menopause and empty nest syndrome; aggravated by a mid­life crisis! Charlotte had married young; right out of high school; and had children right away. She had also been left alone (for wa­-a-­y too long in her opinion) when her husband was shipped off to Vietnam. After his return, he got a job which required him to travel most of the time, so it was always Charlotte and the kids. Now the kids were adults and lived on their own, and when her husband was suddenly forced to retire, Charlotte realized she didn’t even k​now this man anymore. To confuse matters even more, she didn’t know if she even l​iked him, let alone love him! “To hell with this death-­do-­us-­part!” The day her husband retired, Charlotte promptly moved into the guestroom!

As the women entered Charlotte’s neatly kept—typically suburban home, the house was quiet; no sign of anyone home. “Hel­lo­o” Charlotte called out, “honey, I’m home.” No answer. “Where’s your man?” Michelle asked. “I don’t have any idea” Charlotte answered, “he does his thang, and I do mine; and once a year we go on vacation!” “Together?” Michelle asked, knowing she would get on Charlotte’s nerves, but after what Charlotte did to her at lunch, she deserved it! “Smart-­ass! I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna have me some lemonade” Charlotte said. “Sounds good; me too” Michelle answered. “Straight or hard?” Charlotte asked. “Da-­um...you a​re an ‘alkie’!” Michelle exclaimed. “Nah, just a ‘desperate housewife’!” Charlotte said as she disappeared into the kitchen. “Straight” Michelle hollered out, “I need to focus.” “How the hell are you gon’ steer this man to the alter by Valentine’s Day?” Charlotte hollered back to Michelle. “That’s why I need you to be sober” Michelle said, as she drifted into the room and sat at the kitchen counter. “You ask all the right questions....’bout shit I always overlook. Makes me be able to work that shit out.” Michelle became lost in thought, lulled by the gentle clinking, tinkling sound of the ice cubes as Charlotte stirred the lemonade. She thought about all of her “targets”, and tried to analyze where she went wrong.

“Hel­lo” Charlotte said, snapping her fingers in front of Michelle. “Tower to Michelle; the runway is clear—please land!” Startled, Michelle blurted out “What!?” as she was jolted out of her thoughts and back into reality. “What’d you say?” she asked. “I was just askin’ you what were you thinkin’ about?” Charlotte answered. “Oh, just trying to figure out what the flaw in my plan is” said Michelle. “That’s easy” Charlotte told her; “the flaw in your plan is t​he plan!​” “Don’t hate” Michelle scolded. “I’m not hatin’ on nobody, but you k​now you are actin’ off-­the-­chain with this dumb­ass scheme!” Charlotte chastised her right back. “Correction—a​ction plan!​” Michelle interjected. “I’m on a mission and I c​annot afford to fail” she continued. “Tuh! Walkin’ round here like the kung fu fighter of love, knockin’ those unsuspecting negroes to their knees with that lethal weapon between your legs!” Charlotte chided Michelle and was ready to read her the riot act! “Ahhh grasshoppa’—the powa’ of the pussay—cannot take lightly—must be trained to use wisely!” Michelle said, in the worst Asian voice Charlotte had ever heard; and to add insult to injury, she was bowin —hands together like a praying mantis. “Ooo she gets on my nerves sometimes!” Charlotte thought to herself. “That’s why that shit ain’t gon’ never work! You are too much of a smart­ass—think you k​now everything!” Charlotte said, irritated that Michelle didn’t seem to get it at all. “You just don’t get it at all, do you?” she asked. “What?” Michelle said, bracing herself for one of Charlotte’s lectures. “That you can’t just m​ake up a love connection; it has to happen naturally—t​hat’s what!” Charlotte told her; her blood just about at the boiling point. “I still say you’re a hater” Michelle calmly replied; making Charlotte even more annoyed. “You get on my l​ast nerve sometimes! Why the hell do I even bother!?” Charlotte said, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

“Nah, but for real though; I must be leaving s​omething out” Michelle reasoned, trying to get Charlotte out of lecture mode. “Ye­ah” Charlotte snapped, still irritated; “the part where you fall in love maybe?” “What’s love got to do with it!? I’m not the one who has to be in love for this to work” Michelle explained. “That’s the beauty of the whole plan” she continued, “a simple five­-step plan: O​ne:​ T​hey fall in love with me. T​wo: ​I make them t​hink I​’m love with them. T​hree: ​I get the ring. F​our:​ I walk down the isle and say my vows: ‘I take this man to be my lawfully wedded checkbook’—yadda, yadda, yadda—‘I do’ and B​AM!​—F​ive: ​I make that raccoon-­eyed m­-e​ffin’​ B​­​-ahtch; a​nd her hood­-rat sucka’ brother; bow down to my ass! See—s​imple!​” “Simple hell! Exactly how far down that little checklist of yours have you actually b​een?​” Charlotte inquired, after listening to what she considered some “crazy­-ass logic”.

“Three” Michelle lied. “Liar!” Charlotte knew she was lying. “Two” Michelle was forced to admit. “And exactly how many times now have you been stuck at number two?” Charlotte inquired. “Let’s see......hmmm...there was Anthony, the airline pilot...” she reflected. “He always had to be flying off somewhere and never spent any quality time with me” Michelle pointed out. “Then, umm...” Charlotte said, thinking and tapping her finger on the side of her head, “oh yeah...there was the music company executive; that fine­ass Darren—damn! I would have forgot my husband, my kids and y​ou over that sugar chocolate! Ooo, did I say that out loud?” “Too jealous; acted like I was a trophy catch! Hell...he would take me to music industry events and not want me to talk to anybody!” Michelle told her. “And whaaat abouuut...James? Remember him—the NFL player? The one with all that pretty green money?” Charlotte asked. “He had too many o​ther women!” Michelle said dryly, rolling her eyes. “Whatever” Charlotte said, “The point is, I have been going through this with you for the last six years, and you n​ever get past number two!” she pointed out. “I just wasn’t feelin’ them enough to go past number two!” Michelle shot back to defend herself. “And now Phillip” said Charlotte. “Yeah grasshopper—go learn how to conquer that crazy-­ass list shit! Targets n​ot conquered—and list­-a has kicked-­a y​o’ smart ass!” Charlotte mocked Michelle in a voice that did not sound like any known dialect on earth—but she made her point.

“You give me a headache!” Charlotte exclaimed, “I need me some gin in this lemonade! I can’t function sober around you; you make me wanna run upstairs and jump out my bedroom window!” “And what...go for a swim? The pool is under your window!” Michelle said, rolling her eyes. “Oh” Charlotte said, “I thought I was being dramatic and suicidal for effect...my bad!” They both collapsed into hysterical laughter.

Phillip Stevens was tall, dark, handsome, single, rich, successful and, tall­-dark-­and-­handsome—in that order! He was six­-foot-­two and one hundred and ninety­-five pounds of “c​oco­licious”​(Charlotte’s word). He possessed a rugged handsomeness which came from being physically fit; and although Phillip was forty­-five years old, he was as fit as any twenty­-five year old and could show off his “guns” and “six­pack” to prove it! He jogged, worked out at his health club on the regular, and went bike riding and hiked whenever he could. He liked the quiet and solitude of the hiking trails. It was a place where could think without distraction, and a place he could go to work out his problems.

Phillip was the senior partner and chief counsel of mergers and acquisitions in one of the most powerful, solid and financially stable black­owned investment firms in the country. He had started the firm, “Stevens, Tomlinson & Williams”, fifteen years ago with his two best friends, Eric Tomlinson and Jeffrey Williams. Over the years, Phillip had watched his friends get married and have families, but he was “married” to the business. He had poured his blood and sweat into it and that had paid off well. Through hard work, good networking and luck, they became hugely successful and rich. Phillip was well connected and belonged to all the right organizations. He was a generous philanthropist who gave back to his community; he belonged to the country club, and was a member of the local chapter of “100 Black Men” through which he was a youth mentor.

Phillip and his partners played golf every week at the country club, and it was at the country club where he had first encountered Michelle. She had passed him in the lobby, elated at having just trounced her tennis partner. It was that smile he could not get out of his head.

Phillip and his friends had just finished a round of golf and were seated at a table on the patio of the country club lounge. They were sipping cool drinks when Michelle and Charlotte arrived and were being seated at a nearby table. What Phillip d​idn’t know was, Michelle had noticed him weeks ago. She had just broken off her relationship with an NFL player, and had decided that Phillip would be her next “target”. She had done her homework and found out he was single and rich and that he played golf at the country club every Wednesday afternoon. Michelle had talked Charlotte into playing tennis with her so she could maneuver herself into position to lay her trap.

“How in the hell are we going to get into that country club?” Charlotte had asked. “Obviously you don’t give me enough credit” Michelle said. “I still have my guest membership from James (it was the one thing she didn’t throw at him when she walked out of his life!); it’s good for three more months. We can get onto the tennis courts, play a game then go to the lounge.”

So, on that particular Wednesday afternoon, Phillip did not realize that he was about to fall into Michelle’s trap! He watched her walk across the patio—eyes glued to her curves. What he noticed even more was just how incredibly beautiful she was. When she was seated, Phillip saw those eyes. She was looking right at him; smiling that radiant smile accentuated by the cutest dimples he had ever seen.

Phillip felt dizzy and sweat was beading up on his forehead. “Man, it’s hot out here!” he said. He signaled a waiter and ordered another glass of iced tea. “I think the heat is under your collar bro’!” Jeffrey said. “You were doing just fine until that lovely woman arrived” he continued. “Yeah,” Eric added, “Looks like there is actually o​ne woman on earth who can melt through that cool!” “You’re both crazy!” Phillip replied, “It’s just damned hot out here!” Although he did have to admit she looked like a vision of caramel sunshine. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and she took his breath away! “She is beautiful, isn’t she?” Phillip asked—more to himself than his friends. He had a faraway dreamy look on his face they had never seen. “I think I’m going to go over and introduce myself” he said (and at that point he had been trapped!). Eric and Jeffrey were astounded and choked on their tea! “You?” Eric asked. “Are going to go over and make the first move to meet a woman!?” Jeffrey finished. Eric and Jeffrey looked at each other is utter disbelief as they watched Phillip get up from their table and go over to the lady’s table and introduce himself.

That had been in June—three glorious months ago. Phillip was completely enamored of Michelle. He thought about her all the time. He could not n​ot think about her! He had spoiled her like no other woman who had come into his life. She had the keys to one of his cars, his house, and even more—his heart! He had given her a black Amex card to use and carte blanch to shop the way she wanted to, and he didn’t mind paying her bills. He just wanted her and was willing to do whatever it took. But for all he did for her, Phillip was not sure Michelle felt anything for him at all. She did not want to move in with him despite his offers and they had not had sex yet; “I just want to be sure about us” Michelle had told him. “Don’t worry honey” she reassured him, “I’m getting there...and it will be worth the wait; I’m a b​ad ​good girl!” she teased.

So they had settled into a comfortable routine. They saw each other two to three times a week and Michelle would come and spend the weekend with Phillip when he wasn’t traveling (and she stayed in his guest room on purpose). Phillip wanted more, but he was not about to push the envelope and risk losing Michelle; so he decided to take things slow and follow her lead. “Just let it do what it do” he told himself; and he hoped it would do what he wanted it to!