It's Good to Have Sex With Strangers

A one-night stand is a perfect way to feel mature and sophisticated. Consider the scenario. Alcohol. A poor decision. Spontaneous sex is a term used to describe a sexual encounter that occurs without warning.

Perhaps narcotics are involved. There's a chance you'll be remorseful, with a smidgeon of fear about whatever STDs you've picked up. Pregnancy may be a frightening experience. It fulfills every promise made by our parents.

At least, that's what many people believe. They see a hot montage of nude people, culminating in a double hangover with a kidney missing. But what if I told you it was all a lie?

What if a night of meaningless sex with a stranger was just what you needed to get over a devastating breakup? Pick up the red tablet and swallow it. Let's go together.

In the middle of grad school, I had my first one-night stand. One-night stands are more common among academics than in the overall population. With the help of our credit cards, we travel the world and stay in five-star hotels. We're always meeting new folks.

Drinking is something we like.

Most significantly, we spend the majority of our twenties and thirties in a condition of anxiety and dread, which generates an insatiable need to reproduce.

As a result, we'll jump almost anyone who gives us a second glance and knows a good joke. This isn't the case. It is, in fact, to some extent.

My first affair rescued me from a quagmire of self-doubt and ambiguity about dating, trust, and the future. After two years with an unfaithful fiancé, I'd been dumped. That ignited a year of shattered romances. Maybe I was dating individuals only to crush their hearts as a kind of vengeance.

What if a night of meaningless sex with a stranger was just what you needed to get over a devastating breakup?

I resembled a mummy or a vampire. My heart would regenerate if I could dump enough individuals in a horrible way.

That, however, did not occur. Every attempt just made matters worse. I used to smear black graffiti all over the flowers of a blossoming romance before stomping it to death.

To put it another way, I ruined my own relationship.

How? In a variety of methods.

To begin with, I discarded one man because he had no idea what a CV was. After he mentioned going to law school after earning his M.A. in English, I dumped him. What exactly are you talking about? I was concerned about his capacity to commit when he made an abrupt professional move.

I felt if he couldn't commit to one discipline, he couldn't possibly stick with one female. He'd ditch me for a sultry state prosecutor with blond hair who wore pencil skirts in the courtroom because she could the first chance he had. I simply knew that's how we'd wind up, deep down in my frontal brain. After a hard day of teaching, I'd return home to find them eating stir fry with chopsticks while listening to Huey Lewis and the News.

And then I would rip those chopsticks from their hands and stab them. Probably several times. And I’d shout something like, “Try prosecuting that, you fucking stupid bitch!”

Fuck that. Best to dump him first.

Think about how many lives I saved…

I tried dating a man with bangs after that. Bangs on males irritate me. What was going on with me?

Bangs aren't for everyone. When Krysten Ritter got rid of hers, I exhaled a great sigh of relief.

But I felt compelled to try this one. My inner angel advised me to try something new. "You should broaden your horizons." Experiment with new things. "Date a guy that wears his hair in a dreadlocks style."

However, the bangs were too much for me. We never officially ended our relationship. I simply stopped responding to his texts, which is arguably the worst way to break up with someone. Playing the coward. I felt humiliated.

A one-night stand sounded like the very last thing I needed after a year of that insanity. I'd resolved to a few months of celibacy, peaceful long walks in the woods, and Netflix nights with wine alone. At the time, I was on a Riesling kick. I was reminded of a kiss on New Year's Eve by the effervescent champagne flavor.

Nobody, or at least no one I know, arranges a one-night stand. It's because of this why they're so fantastic. It's similar to discovering a $20 bill on the street, only it also boosts your self-esteem.

But that initial one-night encounter proved to be exactly what I'd been hoping for all along with enjoyable sex.

That isn't to say that there isn't any significance in sex. However, it is not as grave. It's all just for fun.

What was the origin of my one-night stand?

At a conference, I was merely standing at a crossing on my way to a panel one morning. He strolled up to the counter, fiddling with his name tag. When he spotted me, his eyes widened. Yes, he's dashing.

It turns out that we were both attending the same session. Perhaps he lied: "Oh, I adore Nabokov!" "I was also on my way there." He did, however, have enough knowledge to make the falsehood credible. He'd even read Pnin.

We sat next to each other. We also had lunch together and exchanged phone numbers. At first, I assumed we'd simply become conference pals. But then there were some sarcastic texts — not sinister, just amusing — that appeared. He suggested we go to this sushi establishment at 5 p.m. That led to coffee and cocktails with a few other graduate students. He dragged me away from a cocktail party and into a back area, where we began kissing.

In academics, at least not in public, you're not expected to act like that. Both of us were well aware of the situation. People who make out in front of a group of people at a conference are unlikely to get hired. They become the focus of rumors and smear campaigns.

Taking a chance enhanced the flavor of their lips.

A one-night stand is loaded with significance. It indicates that someone is genuinely interested in you.

What about the other thing? He had a wife. He told me not to worry initially while placing an arm around my waist. He almost said it in hushed tones. They were truly becoming divided. That would have made me puke in my previous life. But it made me feel sexy that night.

What did I mean to him? Is this a harmless fuck? After such a trying year, what better way to celebrate than with a treat? That's all there is to it. I was a joy to be around. For a change, it felt good.

A one-night stand carries a lot of weight. It indicates that someone is very interested in you. They can't wait much longer. They're ready to fuck you right now. You have a sense of urgency and excitement. It's almost as though you've been baptized.

I'd only kissed someone on a first date once before that, and I'd never fucked someone until the third date. But by that evening, I'd decided that common sense and sound judgment hadn't gotten me very far. It's not a bad idea to make some blunders. So we sped up to his room on the elevator.

He came to a complete halt after directing himself in. "Just to make sure..." Isn't this a one-time thing?

"Fuck me and shut up."

The next morning, we had a bagel at Starbucks. We teased and flirted with one another. But none of us felt the tinge of regret or the headache that comes with a hangover. We could even recall each other's names. He texted me later that day to invite me out for another night. As a result, it was more of a two-time event. Actually, that happened three or four times.

When done correctly, meaningless sex may be a lot of fun.

Even without the intercourse, we turned out to like one other. We got along because he was entertaining and gave intriguing stories.

We were, without a doubt, having sex with each other. That didn't make us bad or meaningless, though. With our eyes wide open and a sense of mutual respect, we went into the deal. I needed my confidence and dignity restored since he wanted out of his marriage. For both of us, it's a great bargain.

Everyone is talking about how degrading meaningless sex is. This isn't always the case, however. When done correctly, mindless sex is fantastic.

No one is harmed by meaningless sex.

People do harm to others.

Unfortunately, none of my subsequent flings could match that initial one. The following one exaggerated his age by 12 years. I almost fucked a cocaine junkie after that. I then calmed down and went back to monogamy.

But I returned stronger and more self-aware. So, what exactly is my recommendation?

If you're single, fuck someone you've never met before. What happens next could surprise you.

Disclaimer:

STORY WITH ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT ARE INCLUDED IN THIS POST. IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18 AND MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR ALL ADULTS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.