Is The Age of the Orgasmatron Finally Here?

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In 1973, a movie hit the cinemas with a premise that seemed so outrageous and unbelievable that today we still wonder if it can really happen, and if it does, would we do it. The movie, Woody Allen’s Sleeper, tells the tale of a short skinny nerd who is woken from a 200-year sleep in order to save the world. However, it isn’t the narrative of the film we still talk about. Most of us don’t even remember what the film was about, but what everyone who has watched it remembers is the cameo of the infamous Orgasmatron — a type of chamber where one or two people could enter and within seconds, orgasm.

In my innocent naivety I thought that either a), these existed, and adults just hid them out of sight like they did with the Playboy magazines, or b), by the time I reached voting age, the Orgasmatron or the portable version ‘the orb’ would be a furniture staple. As usual, I was wrong.

Fifty years have passed since the Orgasmatron first entered the zeitgeist and while there isn’t an Orgasmatron in every house, it’s estimated that around 65% of women (in the USA) own at least one sex toy, and around 50% of guys have ‘used’ one at some point. So, when you see a woman stock up on batteries, chances are they may not be for the TV remote control.

Sex toys have really changed our sexual habits and unfortunately for us guys, we can’t really compete with a battery-charged vibrator. The only thing we can do is accept the situation and level the playing field with male-focused toys. And, considering we purchase a mind-blowing $50 BILLION worth of sex toys a year, the playing field is a very lucrative one.

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Following years of dedicated research involving both practical hands-on comparisons and voyeur examinations, I can unreservedly clarify that there are 3 basic types of sex tech toys and aids in a variety of guises. There are those that are stand-alone climax companions which are great for a quick O without the need for any human interaction. There are those which are best suited for two players and more recently, the remote-controlled teasers which let you control someone else’s orgasm, even if you’re thousands of miles away.

And, if you don’t have anyone to share your toys, you can step into the breach with immersive simulated sex sites which, while not being a replacement for an in-person duet, VR (virtual reality) porn sites such as WankZR are as close as you’ll get at the moment.

Single-player Sex Tech

When it comes to a guaranteed orgasm, women go to their bedside drawer, not necessarily a guy. With same-day delivery services, getting your hands on a vibrator is easy as ordering a pizza with pineapple. Not to everyone’s taste, but many will secretly do it and hide the evidence. However, for guys, it can be somewhat disconcerting to see their partner get off in just a few seconds of battery-powered pulsations. However, it’s also a big turn-on to see a woman getting wet and losing control. So, what’s the solution?

The solution comes in the form of virtual reality porn sites where tech toys are used with abandon for the benefit of the performers, enhanced with a well-placed camera angle making sure the viewer gets a birds-eye view of just what batteries can achieve. If you have a 4K plus monitor/tv or even better, and a virtual reality headset, then check out sites such as VRBangers . It’s not quite an Orgasmatron experience, but it’s getting there.

2-player Dildos

Pulsating double-ended dildos and USB charged cock-rings are just some of the X-rated tech toys helping mixed-sex and same-sex couples power-up their sex lives. These tools require two people to take part in some futuristic fun. These are particularly powerful as aids to spice-up a sex life, as opposed to replacing actual human contact. However, it takes some practice and a few hits and misses to climax together. Quite often one is left gasping for air, while the other is still squirming around for the best position.

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As there’s no IKEA style booklet showing how stick-figures use the device, the best way to learn the ins and outs of using a multi-player porn product is to find an XXX video where it stars and see how the pros do it. One site which has a huge range of not-exactly instructional videos, but videos where devices are used by professionals is BaDoinkVR.

Remote-controlled Rushes

Once you’ve come to grips with the two types listed above, it’s time to ratchet up the dial and go for the long-distance load. With a world of information encapsulated in terabytes at our fingertips, it was only a matter of time before we turned instantaneous cyber-knowledge into something tangibly useful — in other words: remote-controlled sex.

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You can turn on your partner's vibrator with a swipe of an app from anywhere in the world. And, if you don’t have someone who’s willing to let you control her climax from another continent, you can experiment at several cam sites where the models will let you take charge of their sex tech toys and ultimately determine just how long an Orgasmatron experience you’re getting to bestow upon them.