Head for Head pt. 1

Started talking to this guy and I really really like him. The only issue was I felt I was not being noticed for the things I did for him. I’m not saying you have to be praised or patted on the back for every good deed but you want some type of acknowledgment. Right? You see we have been talking for about a year and he was a old flame from college. He Impressed me with his intellect and the way he carried himself. His facial Features and his physique was a huge plus. I love the way he gave off this take charge energy and what women does not enjoy watching a man be a man. Also he had this charm about him that after a brief conversation with him I walked away wet. Once the sex finally happened I was blown away by how amazing it was. The intimacy part is what makes me really really enjoy it. To some people intimacy & sex are the same thing. Trust me it’s not! Until you experience it you won’t truly know the difference. He actually liked to take his time and feel me all over and caress my body. Every woman likes when certain lady parts are caressed and kissed on. What seals the deal is after the deed is done its cuddle time. The way this man locks his arms around my body makes me just want to give it all to him.

Now you may ask what is the issue? Well here is the thing everything is great until he starts to want oral. See I was not a pro at this and I always had to be given instructions on how to suck properly. I don’t know what it is about some men but oral can go on for a long time. After a while you start to feel that locked jaw feeling. Honestly, I never really was a fan of giving it. I feel like it depends on the man as well. Somehow with this man I actually enjoy it. The issue is he enjoys it a little too much at times. There are times that he wants me down there for like 30 mins. Now you may be reading this like what was the issue?? Well, I am in my mid 30’s and I am an emotional wreck and want to bear a child. This man does and says all the right things but in regular conversation he makes it clear he is in no way shape or form ready for a child nor a committed relationship. You can’t force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. However the relationship beyond the sex is like a gf/bf relationship in my honest opinion. We talk all day everyday nonstop. We are on FaceTime all day while we are both at work. The only break we took was when one of our phones died. As a woman I constantly think I am making the wrong choice in allowing this man to enter me RAW all the time while Knowing my body is a ticking time clock and the fact that I want a child now. At this time I should be looking for a partner to achieve this with but I’m so intrigued by this man. Our conversations cover everything. We can talk about absolutely any and everything and talk for hours. But it’s something about the way this man can just hold me and touch me that makes me not want to run away. That’s what makes me think this can be real with him. He gives me hope sometimes because he does say he wants kids in his future. But he is in no rush and could possibly wait till he is 50. NOW i can NOT wait until he is ready because it I do I am gonna be heartbroken. When he talks like this it scares the shit out of my overies. Although I have never been touched or held like this before I have to bring my self to reality and think about everything in the long run.

My reality check came when I was one day late for my period. Won’t lie I was hoping I was pregnant but I knew I wasn’t. I told him which I knew I shouldn’t have and he was worried like “OH NOO what you gonna do?” That what’s brings me to this moment here. while I realized he just would give me the sexual satisfaction and pleasure that I needed and wanted for the moment. If I go at his pace I’m gonna be old and unhappy and resent him. Once again I’ll also resent myself majorly. I don’t want that but then I think about those nights laying in his bedroom and he would kiss my hips and my side and even kiss along my pelvis line. It was so intense that my body would twitch and react crazy to his advances. It made me feel wanted and as if he was in love with me. I was upset with myself when I stayed at his house for two weeks straight and we literally never left the house. The only amount of fresh air we got was when we decided to open the window. Things got wild during that stay and at the end he didn’t want me to leave but I had responsibilities and I knew I had to go. I left and we maintained the usual Facetime and phone conversations. However I started to distance myself. Gradually I had to because it was the only way I could be okay with myself for what I was putting my body through.

One night during one of our nightly talks he says “I love being in you” So I wondered why not go get some action? So I said “you want some pussy?” He was like “right now?” And I said in the most seductive voice “why not get some while it’s being offered to you?” He says in the most thirstiest response” I’m calling your Uber now”. I get there and he wastes no time. He grabs me and gently pushes me towards the wall looking deep into my eyes. He then kisses me so messily that I thought he was about to swallow my face then he slides his tongue over to my neck leaving a trail of slob all over my face and neck and I wanted to be turned on however I don’t know why I was turned off. As I’m wiping my face with my shirt he picks me up and I think “okay here is the good part” he puts me on the couch and then just whips his dick out. Now I did say I enjoy it but I don’t know why it was just too much for me at the moment that I was feeling like wait let’s take our time. I wanted to say that but it just didn’t come out my mouth for some reason. He then goes “you good?” I’m like “yeah” but I knew I ment No! He then reacts to my hesitant response: he pulls his pants up and sits down next to me kisses me on the cheek and says I’m not ever gonna make you do anything you don’t want to. He turned the TV on and was like let’s watch something. We went from YouTube to South Park to random shows. Ordered food and smoked a little weed. He made me super comfortable again. I don’t even know why of all the times we have had our fun this one time I just started to feel uncomfortable.I still question that to this day. Out of nowhere I asked him what are we he said “oh God I knew this was coming. We are very exclusive friends” I then tried to hold it down and play it cool.” So exclusive means ONLY right?” I said with a slight nervous giggle. He says “Hell yes you know how I am ,1 pussy and that it.” I took what he said with a grain of salt and I paid attention to his movements and words after that.

We took a spontaneous trip to Kentucky. It was more for scenery and fresh air and a get away from home. The hotel we stayed at was very nice and a jacuzzi was in our room. He had set it up and made some drinks. We sat and talked and gazed into each others eyes while enjoying the ambiance and the surrounding room decor while we overlooked the rural landscape of Kentucky. It was peaceful and then suddenly that touch happens. He pulled me close and kissed me so passionately. Not sloppy & also not gentle. It was more intense and bold but yet filled with lust. He was about to get it on the jacuzzi which would have been sexy but I wanted to hop in that bed to really enjoy this man. I stepped out the jacuzzi first. Nice and slow so he can enjoy the view of the water dripping off of my body. Wanted him to see how the water glides down my curves as I gracefully move about the room towards the bed. He is practically drooling as I walk by. He jumps out the water hard cock and all. All you see is hunger in his eyes. I was his dinner and he was ready to enjoy me. It goes down and it’s great so far and I give this man the most amazing head he has ever had in his life. I felt him about to cum but stopped sucking. This man was stuck and looked down at his hard dick. I laid on the bed and I spread me legs while licking my nipple and said come have dessert. This man just stares at my Pussy and then comes and spits on it and rubs it with his finger. I looked at him and he looked at me and was like I’m not good at it. Now as much as I pleased this man I didn’t push for him to eat me out. I didn’t push for it because I know there are some men that just don’t like to do it. So instead of me asking I just wanted to find out if he did like it without me having to ask. So I told him to practice as I positioned myself he came closer and licked the clit. I was getting so impatient that I just shoved his head in my pussy while mushing his mouth all over my pussy. Literally 10 seconds into it he started to get his own groove and was eating the shit out of my pussy. He started to grab on to my hips and push my pussy in his mouth. It was crazy I had to tell him to stop because I felt my self about to cum from the constant licking. he slowly came up and was kissing on my pelvis line and it turned me on so much I mushed his head back into this narrow lake between my legs. He sat up and jerked his head back and wiped his mouth off. I looked at him puzzled and said “WTF man I was coming??” His face was looking so disgusted and disgruntled. he says “I don’t like to be pushed into doing that” I looked back at him angrily “wait what the hell?” He heads to bathroom and washes his face. He came back into the bedroom and explained “ I just don’t like to eat pussy I had a bad experience and I need to go down when I’m ready.” I don’t know if it was my pussy being angry that we did not get to cum or my brain pissed off because I’m seeing some inequality in head giving. You see I found it very offputting that he can just whip his penis out and expect to get head whenever he wants. However, when I gently push your head into my pussy all of a sudden I’m pushing you to eat pussy. You don’t like it so imagine how I feel.

About a month goes by and in that month me and him did not see each other but we still maintained the daily FaceTime and phone talk. It took about a month for us to sadly talk about that Kentucky trip. When we finally talked about it he started explaining why he does not like to eat vagina. So then I gave him a ultimatum which I probably should not have done. I told him that he needs to learn how to like it because it’s not fair to me to have to give you head all the time with no issue but when I want some it is an issue. My vagina doesn’t stink nor is it hairy & I don’t have anything going on so what your fear? He looks at me and says ....

Tune in next week for part 2 🤦🏾‍♀️😄