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Good Girls, bad habits

Confession of a Good Girl

By Law ChristianiPublished 4 years ago 14 min read
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I am by no means a goody two shoes. I am a normal person, average in most aspects of life. I went to school, did what I had to do, went home. It was all very mundane truly. There was one thing that seemed to grip me viciously, MONEY. As I worked and accumulated debt from school and credit cards and shopping and pay biweekly sites AKA the devil’s playground. There was a desperate need for funds money to make everything better. To settle my debt and pay for my ridiculous shopping needs. (Makeup is a most expensive hobby I wouldn’t suggest getting invested). Anyways, I turned to the only thing that wasn't stripping or outright prostitution because let's be honest I did not have the skill or body needed to be successful at those careers.

Try 1: The scam

In hopes that I can remain anonymous to readers I will tell you about a little scam I started. I learned about this somewhere in the deep web (Not recommended, another story entirely).

The scam was as follows:

Step 1. Buy and item from any online retailer

Step 2. Wait for said item to arrive

Step 3 Once item has arrived safely proceed to the retailers site to speak to customer service

Step 4 Complain about how you never received your time (ensure enough time has passed to seem plausible don’t wait too long)

Step 5 Demand a refund

Step 6 Enjoy your now free item

No I don’t want to hear about how this is stealing and such trust me I KNOW. This trick only works for certain retailers and can only work for so long. Of course some are now requiring people file a police report due to scammers such as I. I abandoned this lifestyle long ago. I was young and dumb and figured it would never catch up with me.

Anyways I decided I preferred to spend other people's money so that led to try number 2.

Try 2: The sugar daddy

Wow the world of sugar is something else entirely. I have only scratched the surface and did not get far at all, but I will say I had an interesting experience. It all started with a movie. (Someone remind me the name the movie was on Lifetime I believe.) About the two girls that were sugar babies and accidentally killed the sugar daddy. Anyway, the site mentioned in that movie was seeking arrangement. It was tucked away in the recesses of my mind until I decided to check it out some 2 years later. I opened up a can of worms that day.

I made my profile uploaded the best, and most edited, pictures of myself. I am fairly self conscience so I NEVER take a picture of my body so these were simply face pictures( I looked pretty cute if I do say so myself).

When I first made a profile and waited I got little to no hits except for a gentleman that wished for me to kick him in my balls for money (If I kicked hard enough to sterilize him then I got 10,000).

I decided I needed a different approach so I went to a professional. This professional has books and even a podcast on being a sugar baby. It seemed it worked well for her. I paid her to write me a profile that would gather attention. An investment of sorts.

The profile was great and I used it immediately. I started to get hits slowly but surely. The usual:

“Show me your boobs”

“Can I get a naked picture”

“[Insert dick pic here]”

But one caught my attention A gentleman by the name I didn't bother to remember contacted me.

He lived in Los Angeles (Allegedly) and said all the things I wanted to hear. He seemed to want to jump right into being my sugar daddy without meeting for talking for long (Flag number 1)

I being young and dumb just went along with it because: YES I finally got one!

He said he wants to spoil me and this and that and so on. He said he wanted to send me a gift now, this was just after exchanging 2 vague messages that barely answered the questions I posed (Flag number 2)

I, of course, sent him my information, but I was using a fake name at the time (Brownie points for thinking ahead).

I honestly thought he was gonna send like some flowers or something like that. I never expect to receive a check to over 2 thousand dollars in the mail, but that is exactly what I got. The check had my middle name (Which is the “fake” name I used) but the issue came from who the check belonged to.

“Who the hell was Melinda Thatcher?” (Random name since I can't remember the actual name)

(RED FLAG NUMBER 3 RUN RUN RUN)

I knew something was definitely off with this guy. He pressed me to tell him if I got the check and to cash it. I let him know that I could not cash the check since it did not have my real name.

He

Got

MAD

I am pretty sure I ruined his plans because he was livid. He sent a lengthy message about how I could lie to him and how he couldn't trust me. (lengthiest message he sent to date)

Next day his profile disappeared.

Welp that was disappointing on to the next one.

Try 3: I am way too old to be this stupid

I hate to admit it but this happened early 2019 and I was 22. Dumb as I was, or still am, I know realize this never had to happen.

So circa early 2019 it was counting down to my graduation date. Or supposed graduation date as I am still in school currently what does that tell you?

I didn't tell my parents I would not be graduating, actually to make it worse I insisted I was going to graduate. (DUMMY) My parents are fairly no nonsense so I knew once they found out (And they would find out this is not a Jennifer Pan situation.). They would kick me out before I could even explain myself.

To explain: School is fucking hard especially when you suffered from depression, anxiety, and some sort of undiagnosed attention disorder (Still working on that)

So I decided they can't kick me out if I am already gone.

So I decided to do one of the dumbest things I have ever done to date (back to the deep web I was pretty stupid on that end as well).

I decided to go to craigslist (I KNOW!!) and put up an ad asking for room and board. Now here is the kicker. In my 22 year old brain I figured life was a goddamn movie I want room and board in exchange for housekeeping.

HOUSEKEEPING! Where did my brain go? I graduated high school with honors and common sense I swear!

Anyway, I got a lot of hits as you could imagine. Most were for a live-in girlfriend or sex partner. So side note I am a virgin, 23 years and counting! So this sex partner stuff was a real no go for me. Anyway, there were a few promising emails though the issue is where I moved needed to be close to my current job, or somewhere I can find a job quickly, because a bitch still has bills. Those credit cards are not paying for themselves. At this point I am 4 cards deep and getting another one for when I go to the BTS concert in Chicago( Side note concert was lit doing that shit again this year. The concert not the credit card).

Anyway, there were emails from MEN ALL MEN. Like men have nothing better to do then troll craigslist. I did get a few men that shamed me and reported my ad (Douche bags can’t they see a girl is just tryna live a fairy tale life without consequences?) .

But in the end there were two men that messed my whole summer up.

I was talking with these men st the same time and both first came out like simple guys that wanted to help.

Yeah Right!

The first one was named Tom If my memory serves me right. He lived in my city and had an extra room allegedly (I say this because despite what this started off as I have never actually saw this house or room).

Now it started off innocent enough but then he began to talk about how the room was next to his 50 shades of grayesque sex room (WHAT?!?!?!). I was willing to ignore it but he kept bringing it up. At this point it was drawing nearer to the summer and I had yet to tell my parents the truth so in my mind I needed to be out of there SOON.

I went along with it for some reason encouraging this ridiculousness. In hindsight this is probably all my fault. Anyway, this ended up with us meeting. Now I am still in the mindset of I need a place to live, so my hopes are we meet get to know each other and he offers me the room. Well let’s just say it ended up with me giving him a hand job in his car. Yeah that escalated quickly.

This was my first time seeing a penis and it is burned in my brain for all of eternity. It wasn't big maybe average I’m unsure. It kind of felt like a sick with a sock covering it but not those regular socks, those fancy dress socks people wear to work and church. He even touched me a bit (This was very uncomfortable I learned later I don't like being touched all that much)

Anyways I left that meeting feeling weird about myself and yet there was still no talk of this room I was to get.

Time was ticking by and we exchanged more emails. He liked the fact that I liked to write he told me stories of his sexual escapades with his secretary in his office. ( It was absurd to say the least.)

Now he was saying that if this was to work out he didn't want any attachment and that it would be best if he took my virginity before I moved in.

Virginity something I have held onto for 22 years at that time. I will let you in on a little secret. I have never dated anyone. The last “Boyfriend” I had was in 6th grade and we broke up because I apparently didn't want to talk to him (Which I didn't, I mean all he talked about was him being Jackie Chan’s son like?? Yeah Jackie’s Chan’s son is a Mexican-American living in midwestern USA.)

Anyways I had no experienced in things like this now that I think about it I think he liked, that easier to manipulate me you know. He insisted this was the only way and I agreed.

He wanted this to happen at a hotel somewhere near the airport.

It was farther from my area away from my comfort zone and right into his neck of the woods.

I didn't like that, but I reluctantly agreed.

He then began to list the things he wanted to do.

1.I was to get there early

2.shower and undress

3.Lie on the bed blindfolded and cuffed with the door unlocked and slightly open.

He wanted to try everything from oral and anal and oral anal to me AND TO him.

Suffice to say I was wildly uncomfortable with most or ALL of this. I was new to sex I did not want my first time to be filled with all this kinky bullshit. Or my first time to be with a guy twice my age but I digress

I finally mustered up the courage to tell him I wanted to scale a lot of this stuff back That was after I had met him a second time. This time in a parking lot of an all but abandoned mall near me.

I performed oral on him that time. It took 2 cups of mouthwash and 3 bottles of the most acidic fruit punch I could find and still couldn't shake the feeling. It was disgusting. Perhaps it would feel different with someone I liked? IDK I am still on that one. Anyways I agreed to his whole convoluted plan and went 30 minutes out of my way to meet this guy. This guy I was sure had no intention of giving me a room. What the fuck was I thinking. But it would seem either luck, God, or whatever was on my side.

As I sat in the over packed parking lot I got a message stating that he couldn't get the room because something was wrong with his card. Now he was supposed to do this at least two hours before I showed up not sure why he waited until I ambled all the way out there with my broken down car and my phone on 5%.

He instead suggested I meet him at another hotel parking lot since that hotel was so full. Why did I do this idk?

He wanted me to give him head again. I circled that parking lot but gave up eventually I guess I finally figured this wasn't worth it, not by a long shot. Something about this guy rang completely fake and not just the fact that he came from craigslist. Now after the fact do I worry about things such as STI’s. Welp with that unfortunate encounter over I think it awakened something inside me. I finally told my parents school was gonna take longer. They were disappointed and yelled and fussed but ultimately it ended there. Later, this was after that BTS concert. I went back on craigslist because I had absolutely no self preservation. Once again I caught up with these older white men with clearly nothing better to do. This time I was looking for a sugar daddy and I said as much. One guy in particular was odd. It was okay at first but things started to not add up.He had one pic and refused to send anymore and then he sent dick pics, two of them. I suppose he thought they looked similar enough but an idiot could tell the difference and I was an idiot. But I still planned to meet him At a gym parking lot fairly close to where I lived so I was still in my comfort zone. So the time starts to come and I get a text.

“You want me to meet you at [insert address here] right?”

My blood ran cold. He just sent my address, MY HOME address you know the place I live with my parents and older sister.

I had never given him my address not even close. I was floored on what to do. This guy had somehow gotten my address and as far as I know planned to come there. I immediately played as if it wasn't my address telling him no but insisting he tell me where he got the address.

He said “Oh I think a guy on craigslist put it on there, he was selling a deep freezer and I was interested.”

“What?” No one in my house was selling a deep freezer so I KNEW he was lying. I immediately asked my closest friends in our group chat about what I should do.

First they educated me a bit:

People can get your address from your phone number? Who knew? Well I didn't and now I had this potentially dangerous individual planning to come to my house.

I asked what to do

My friend stated I should tell him my dad was a cop and tell him it was best we stop talking. She said it worked like a charm

IT did work to some degree I told him my dad was a cop and EX military only one of those is true. I told him it was best we keep this platonic. I knew this guy was really crazy because he started to go on and on about how he as a wife and kids and he would never do anything to hurt them.

I eventually told him I got a new number and gave him the google voice number I just received. Immediately blocking him on my actual phone. I still entertained him though mainly because I was afraid of what he would do if I just blocked him outright. What if he didn't buy my dad a cop story or buy that it wasn't my address. I knew I needed to stop talking to him though so one day I bolstered the courage and blocked him.

As far as I know that’s the end of it. Since then I have been living with my measly for my peace of mind.

That's all for today's confession.

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About the Creator

Law Christiani

Just here doing my best.

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