Ghosting Alex

So I hooked up with Alex the other night. I was supposed to meet up with someone else, but logistical problems stymied us. Since I was in a horny state of mind (and wearing my new purple thong), I decided to check-in on Alex who'd sent me a text earlier that day asking, “do you want some ice cream?”. I thought this was rather sweet until I realized he was making some sort of man-cream reference. I think.

Alex is pretty much my only “cute meet”. A couple summers ago I was out of town for several weeks. Alex and I 'liked' each other on OkCupid. We flirted on and off for awhile but things sort of fizzled out due to the physical distance between us. Flash forward a few weeks. I was back in town, had gone out dancing one night and on my way home I remembered I was supposed to pick up some Dayquil for my mom. After learning my go-to Walgreens was no longer 24 hours, I drove a few miles to the next closest drugstore. I bought the Dayquil, got back in the car and was just about to turn on the ignition when I noticed someone approaching in my peripheral vision. In the three seconds it took for him to reach me, I'd already morphed into 2am-don't-fuck-with-me mode.

“Excuse me?”, says a male voice.

“Yeah.” I reply with a sidelong glance and a non-encouraging manner.

“Aren't you Elle?”

I take a good look at him for the first time and think to myself, no way would I have forgotten a guy this cute.

“Do you know who I am?”, he asks.

“Umm...” says I, wracking my brain.

“It's Alex from OkCupid.”

Omg. Right. Alex from OkCupid. What are the odds of running into an OKC match at 2am at my non-usual drugstore and he recognizes me from my pics (and still decides to strike up a conversation).

I get out of the car and we chitchat for a bit. He's a cute Brazilian who drives for Uber, also does massage (ka-ching), and has his own place nearby. Say no more. He seems mildly surprised that I'm so amenable to going home with him but that's just how I roll. I can be rather shy and awkward unless there's a bed in the room, metaphorically speaking.

The encounter was nice. He busted out the massage table, the sex was good, although there was a certain lack of chemistry between us. Our second encounter wasn't great. His enthusiasm level was not where I would've liked it to be. He seemed happy to let me blow him; didn't seem anxious to fuck me. So the next few times he hit me up, I brushed him off or simply didn't reply to his texts. I figured he'd get the message. I have to give him persistence points. He shot me a message every few months (which I ignored). I was kind of surprised he bothered. I figured it was either that he was super horny or that I was super easy or some combination of both. It never occurred to me that he might be into me in particular. It still doesn't. I take it very personally when a guy doesn't fuck me when he clearly has the green light to do so.

A few weeks ago I received a kik message from a username I didn't recognize. Curiosity got the best of me and I sent a message back asking “who is this?”. Some polite chitchat ensued with the usual we-should-get-together-hmu sometime.... I doubt a hookup would've happened, however, if I hadn't accidentally messaged Alex thinking he was someone else (those darn kik usernames). When I realized with whom I was actually chatting, I was less than enthused about this semi-planned assignation.

I ended up meeting Alex with the intention of a no-sex handjob. I told him I was abstaining from fucking for the time being. I really like to watch guys masturbate and he agreed to put on a show for me if I participated a bit for inspiration. I start by watching him stroke. He's bigger than I remember. Then I gave his jaunty balls a tongue bath. The next thing I know he's in my mouth. This is what usually happens when I attempt to watch. I can't help myself. It's there. It's hard. It wants my mouth. At some point Alex moves behind me to stroke my ass. His hand moves between my legs and he does a commendable job of locating then stroking my clit. I ask him if he has a condom.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes!”

I grab a condom from my purse and watch as he puts it on. He fucks me doggy-style and his size hurts a bit at first then we adjust and he does some impressive stroking with that cock. He asks if he can fuck my ass but I decline. He's just too damn big for anal.

As I'm writing this, he texts me, “so how tasty was that cum???” Lol. Should I be offended, cuz really I'm just amused... He tends to send somewhat piggish messages like “come eat it” with a nice video of him wanking. The messages seem to be sans misogynistic overtones (really!) so I let them slide. I take this opportunity to ask if he has problems coming if he's wearing a condom.

“Why do you ask?”

“Cuz you didn't cum while fucking me”.

“Sometimes I can, sometimes I need more stimulation. What are your thoughts on that?”

“I'd like to think that my pussy is stimulation enough, but I understand.”

I tend to get hung up if a guy doesn't cum to my expectations. I take it like he's not that into me/it. Or what am I not doing right? The only cardio I get is jumping to conclusions. Ha.

We meet up sporadically due to a combination of horniness and convenience beyond which we have absolutely nothing in common. One night he asks if he can finger my asshole and I tell him yes. I'm lying face down on his massage table as he lubes me up and slowly slides a long finger into my tight ass. He's slow and sensual, stroking me deeply, and it makes me squirm and moan as I nearly cum just from the anal stimulation. He really wants to fuck my ass but I know I can't accommodate his big cock without a great deal of pain.

Apparently, this anal encounter makes him rather obsessed with my ass. He's a bit too fixated and it makes me a bit uneasy. I don't know why; he's always been more or less respectful and accommodating. But later I'm validated in my instinct when, for the next several years, he continues to hit me up every couple months although by then I've completely ghosted him. Are you completely oblivious or just deliberately ignoring the signals? Neither bodes well for your character.

Even now, the memory of that anal massage gets me wet, and a small part of me wonders if I was truly justified in ghosting Alex or if maybe he just got a little too close to my deep and dark desires.