I took a bite from the most forbidden fruit and choked on happiness the moment you let me kiss you. Years have gone by painfully slow since then, but you stayed with me. You clung to my lungs like cancerous cells that would kill me faster if I ever tried to remove them. So I held onto your memory as well; in my morning coffee, in every smile I give to a beautiful brunette with a smirk just as lethal as yours used to be. I carry your name on my tongue whenever it's inside another woman's slick folds, when my cock is so desperate to forget how good you felt, that it fucks whoever it can just to numb the pain.
Her lips and her tongue are rolling over the tip of my shaft in the middle of my living room and I'm letting the beer and her desperate blue eyes suck the life out of me while I try to forget the moment I lost you. My mind enters the self-induced murky fog and the first thing I picture is the look of defeat in your chestnut gaze as I get ready to do the one thing I swore to you I'd never do: Hurt you.
The second I feel my world ready to fall apart again, I bring her mouth off my dick and pull her onto my lap, the same way I used to do to you whenever you refused to reason with me. I had no choice but to make you forget what a complete idiot I was to you by fucking you until you passed out from the pleasure.
Now I needed this woman to do the same for me.
She placed my hands on her waist and positioned my throbbing cock at her wet opening. Once her lips meet mine and her inner walls cling to my shaft, I close my eyes and I swear I could feel you beating inside of me. My heart swells with intensity, bursting with everything but the pain I've felt since I last saw you. I try to forget she isn't you while I thrust my dick into her so deep, she moans louder than she wanted to. You never had a problem with expressing how much something made you want to touch yourself.
I remember the first time I caught you with your fingers deep inside of you. I'd come home from a long day of work, the scent of cherry blossoms in the air, indicating you were soaking in the bathtub. I expected to see Sleeping Beauty enjoying the calming ambiance, candles lit, soft rock music playing. What I walked into however, was a combination of fiery abandon and pure sensuality. All of your reservations were thrown out the window while your thighs were parted, your nipples peaking out above the soapy water, both of your hands buried underneath the suds, your tongue darting out to lick your lips as you gasp every time your fingertips pressed into your clit.
There's a difference between watching someone who means nothing to you touch themselves, and watching something who you'd take a bullet for bring themselves to ecstasy. There's a shift in the air, an overwhelming ache in your heart that consumes you the moment they say your name and smile right after they climax. Just knowing I was on your mind while you fingered yourself was validation enough for me that I had been doing something right after all.
But like everything else in my life, I watched your smile fade over time, and the light in your eyes grow dimmer and dimmer as our time together came and went just as quickly as it began. I started to hate you for loving me and pushed you to your breaking point on purpose, just to prove to myself that everyone else had been right about me. I'd never be good enough to love you to the degree in which you deserved.
The realization was a familiar punch to the gut and I felt the anger rise in me again as I plunged my cock deeper and deeper into her. It wasn't enough. None of the women I've fucked since you have been enough to make me forget everything I lost that day, and my anger grew with every second that passed because of it. So I close my eyes once again, your facial features and curvy silhouette plaguing my thoughts as I pinch and suck on her perky nipples, forcing them into hardness as I felt my cock grow thicker and her walls clamp down around me.
My fingers grasp at the hair on the back of her head and I tug as my pace increases, my thrusts growing faster and faster, while her mouth hangs open as she gasps. I reach up to bite her lower lip just as I spill inside of her, bursting my warm milk in every crevice of her core. I'm mentality and physically exhausted, but I keep my cock inside of her while she thrusts and my thumb rubs at her hard clit. I kiss down her neck, images of my lips pressing into your silky porcelain skin flashing across my mind, forcing me to bite down onto her flesh as she arches her back and her juices squirt down my shaft.
I was done with her the second she collapsed beside me in bed. But I still kept her body close to me as I imagined it was your legs mine were tangled with in between the sheets, promising me dirty love all over again.