Diary of a Rubber Doll

Day 8

The voice was becoming irritating, never shutting up like a program that ran over and over....

"Lucy, you must accept this and embrace it. You can never change what you are now," the voice would say softly and repeatedly....

"You are an object to be used as we see fit," it droned on. "You must trust that all of your needs are always going to be met, never neglected."

My needs... How precisely was I defining those anymore? Such basic things were being met.... Personal care they were dealing with quite well, albeit in such a humiliating way though.... Nourishment, that could stand an improvement.... How I craved the taste of my precious coffee and chocolate.... I could almost feel the warmth of the coffee in my mouth....

"You must trust that no harm will ever come to you while in our care, Lucy," the voice said. No harm.... That is a tricky topic... Look at what they had done to me so far and the voice kept trying to convince me that no harm would come to me... It was contradictory at best....

I knew that even punishment did not do physical damage.... But it seemed that everything now was centered on something driven by desire... sexual... and something so primal within me actually wanted it....

Although I call this Day 8.... It feels like it has beenn eight years... I know I am not tracking time right and I know many days go between one entry and the next.... But being forced to keep this diary in my head, of course I have no way of knowing precisely how much time has past....

I am awake, but blind and I know it must still be the resting period... I can tell there are no lights on. I am not sure how I have learned to do this, but I can tell. There were many things I was learning that I never even thought possible.... I could actually feel the air on this rubbery skin.... at times it felt wonderful.

It behaved much like real skin, but oddly I had not once had an actual itch... Not even when they would punish me... They cut me once. Made me bleed... That day I recalled with disgust.... It was a day not long after I first woke up.... First realized the horror of these changes...

"Lucy, wake up the voice had said as I lie there not able to resist.

I felt the anal plug removed and the enema begin. Enema, the word the voice called it. I had never experienced one until I came here... I felt the sudden relief when he released my bladder. I hated the control they held over me.. resisted it and refused to accept that I could not escape.... Little did I know....

Today, I shall grant your sight to see one small thing, Lucy," the voice spoke and slowly my eyes were given vision. Everything was a bright blur and all I could see was straight up. A small monitor was there and on. I could see some peach colored flesh displayed on the monitor.

"You are an object, a fuck toy that we shall use however we see fit, but you must trust that no harm will come to you," the stupid voice rarely shut up.... I would never trust them, look what they had harmed already!!!!

I was strapped to a contraption that moved to different positions, but today they left me flat on my back as they addressed my physical needs. It felt so strange and extremely humiliating to have to shit whiile flat on my back in front of people watching.... Did they enjoying watching?

"You have to trust that pleasure is the only thing you exist for now. Cooperation will bring intense pleasure, disobeidence will bring punishment," the voice kept speaking but my thoughts were elsewhere. What was punishment? This was a living hell so what could they do to me that might be considering a worse punishment than this????

The gag began fucking my throat to deliver the goo... The monitor still showed that peachy flesh stuff... stuff the voice had said was now my skin....

"Today, you will see the changes we made to your skin, how it reacts to stimuli and how it behaves like real skin," the voice explained and I watched as a hand touched the skin on the monitor and I trembled at the touch. It was the caretaker with the warm hands.

"See how the goose flesh rises?" The voice was male, but computer generated. Would I ever hear a real human again???? I watched as the hand touched the flesh with a small ice cube. I shivered and again saw the goose flesh rise. It was erotic and amazing for sure.... How they had accomplished this was certainly breathtaking... But I had not consented to these changes... But I was enjoying them much to my own horror....

"Now, we shall show you some pain, inflict an injury to this area," and the hand pointed out a place as I watched.... Not having a choice since I no longer had eyelids to close and my head was strapped to this contraption.

The hand used a small candle and held the flame to the area. I wanted to cry out, protest. IT BURNED! I saw a blister rise up and how the rubbery skin reacted just like real skin. I could not even struggle away to protect myself. The rubbery flesh turned a pinkish, then an agry red from the burn before he pulled the candle away. I wanted to scream and blow on it.... But why did I want to protect this fake skin? It was forced upon me and I didn't want it.... but it WAS now mine....

The caretaker applied some soothin cream and the pain eased. I watched as the redness faded but the blister remained. I wanted to gag and throw up, but was mezmerized at the same time. I also felt my shame... With each thing they were doing to me juices warmed between my legs....

"Next, we will make a small cut," the voice announced to my horror. The hand pointed to a different area and held a small, sterile scapel. I wanted to shake my head to tell them no, to beg them not to do this. I even tried. The gag was still fucking my throat even though the goo had stopped.

I watched the monitor as the dildo in my pussy began slowly fucking me. The anal plug had been replaced and inflated fully. I felt overwhelmed with sensations as I watched the scapel make a small cut.

"Now, you see how the depth of the skin is similar to real skin. The scapel has made the cut, but not deep enough for you to truly bleed," the voice spoke as I wanted to scream. The cut had not hurt as badly as I had anticipated.... But my concentration was divided.... The toys made me want to beg for it all to stop.... But I wanted release as much as I wanted freedom....

The hand put the scapel to the same spot but this time pressed much harder.... OUCH my mind creamed and my eyes were forced to watch without blinking. I saw a small trickle of blood begin and the toys instantly sped up and the dildo drove deeper into my pussy.

"See, how this superficial cut reacts just like real skin? It parts evenly and permits a small amount of blood to flow," the voice explained as I watched the cut fill with blood, but not rushing. Just a small cut, but it did look like real skin.... The toys distracted me as I watched the hand position itself over the same spot once again.

"This time the cut will be deep, painful and require stitches," the voice said and again I tried to struggle. My heart hammered in my chest and the toys drove me so high that I could not fight it much longer. I did not want to show them that I got any pleasure from this torture.... It wasn't theirs to take or enjoy....

The hand positioned the scapel and pressed so hard that I literally saw stars. I saw it go deep into the rubbery skin and blood began flowing freely. The skin parted open widely, just like real flesh would have.... In that instant the threatening orgasm ripped through my body. I went rigis and tried to scream, to shove that aweful gag out and each time I couldn't only drove me even higher.

"The pain is real, the pleasure is real. It is our gift to you in exchange for becoming our fuck toy," the voice soothed as the toys continued. I wanted them to stop. The orgasm refused to let go and the cut was now being treated, antiseptic applied and stitches placed.

Then my world went black again and my sight was gone. No, I tried to cry out and another round of orgasms washed over me. Each ripple was stronger than the last and my anal plug felt like it might explode as my muscles clamped down on it. My body tried to push the toys out and the more I tried the harder the orgasmms came.

I fought them, the orgasms. I was ashamed, humiliated and did not want them to even think I was enjoying any of this.... But I was... The thought terrified me that on some dark level I wanted more...

The gag began spewing water into my mouth and throat and I came again. Each thing only served to drive me higher and my muscles had tightened so hard I was sure they would never relax.

"Your body is ours to control. We can give nourishment, take it away, give pleasure or take it away, give pain or take it away. We can even take the very air you breathe," the voice droned in the fog of my brain. Suddenly I could not breath. I struggled for air as another round of orgasms ripped through my body.

Why would smothering me like this make my body react this way? It shouldn't! I didn't want it to... Then I had air again, much to my relief and the toys did not stop.... I wanted to beg them to stop I could not take anymore... My muscles clamped and refused to relax it was becoming almost painful....

"We control when you relieve yourself, and we can take that away as well," the voice said and more water rushed into my mouth. The orgasms finally combined into one huge wave that seemed like it would never stop. The water kept coming in intervals. I lost count how many times....

"You will know when this demonstration is over, precisely the level of control we have over youm" the voice was saying and my thoughts were finding it hard to focus.... The water flowed then stopped, then flowed again.... The toys drove hard and deep but showed me no mercy.

"You are a fuck toy, nothing more, nothing less and you are ours to do as we see fit with you," the voice kept saying over and over until it sounded like an old record stuck in the same place.... The ripples washed over me and I still fought them. I wanted free. I wanted this to stop, but I wanted the orgasm and release just as much.

"If we choose to feed you piss, we shall," the voice said and I tasted what was in my mouth.... I wanted to gag and throw up, to spit it out but it forced its way through the gag and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My body betrayed me and exploded in a wave of orgasms that even I couldn't stop.

My pussy muscles were clenched so tightly around the dildo that it became painful as this torture continued. Demonstration, the voice had called it. Torture was what it truly was.... Or was it...

"We can put whatever we choose into the feeding tube Lucy, one day it might be something you really like," the inhuman voice kept speaking but my brain was about to short circuit.... Then suddenly it tasted like chocolate.....

"One day it might be something truly disgusting," the voice went on and the chocolate disappeared. Something more horrorifying replaced it. The voice was silent for a few moments as the taste of what they had forced upon me finally registered. It tasted like feces....

"We can make you eat your own shit Lucy, if this is what we desire," the voice explained and I wanted to throw up again. But my body kept tight in the orgasmic wave in such betrayal to my brain...

"We know you like this. We know you love this level of control, we also know you are struggling to deny that you enjoy it," the voice droned. How could they possibly know since I had no way to communicate???? My body went rigid again adn I tried to scream but nothing came out. I fetl sweat break out all over my body as the waves of orgasms took me even higher.

"We know what happened to you Lucy and why trust is hard for you," the voice spoke and I froze. How could they possibly know that? I had tried so hard to hide everything.... The juices nearly gushed from between my legs as I now tried to focus on the voice again.

"We know that you are afraid, but one day you will welcome all that we do," the voice soothed, but my body was about to explode. Sweat now covered me and I wanted to scream. My breathing was ragged and I was nearly exhausted.

"Embrace the pleasure Lucy and we shall give you more than you could ever imagine," the voice said and the gag flowed with true lemon water and rammed deep intop my throat. The dildo in my pussy did the same. Both buried as deep as they could go and not relenting....

My bladder now felt as if it too might explode. The anal plug enlarged putting more pressure on everything and I wanted to beg to pee. The need was overpowering but I could not.... More water kept coming and without being able to relieve it the pressure inside of me grew to an alarming point.

My bladder kept growing as this demonstration continued. I had no idea of how much time had passed, but I knew that I felt like I would literally explode.

"Your need is great Lucy but shall not be met for some time yet," the voice spoke to my disgust. More water flowed and now I tried to fight with everything I had. The more I struggled the harder the orgasms ripped through me and my brain was a fog of confusion.

Why did this have THIS affect onn me??? I did not want to like it... I did not want to enjoy it... Yet I was....

Just the idea that I had no ontrol over this simple, very personal thing aroused me....

At that moment the relief began. I felt it leave my body very slowly at first, then in a rush. The powerful orgasm that shattered my body caused me to pass out....

Until next time dear diary....