Dating Trans

DATING TRANS

Whyare some lesbians against it?

The world is extremely divided, prejudiced, intolerant and violent. We literally don't need anymore proof of that. The LGBTQ community however, is all about tolerance, respect and inclusiveness. Or is it? We are a people who have dealt with extreme and severe cases of oppression; simply because of who we love. That in itself, should make us as a community more accepting of each other, however that is not always the case.

Transgender men and women seem to be having a noticeably difficult time being accepted by the rest of us who go by different labels. Are lesbians secretly transphobic, or is it a matter of personal preference? I've taken the liberty of asking a few ladies who identify by different labels.

The elephant (penis) in the bedroom:

Sam* 38 - I'm a proud gold star lesbian. I've never been with a man and I never will. Many trans women either haven't had or opt not to have bottom surgery. Others simply cannot afford it. The issue I have with that is….. well I want nothing at all to do with a penis!

Physical and mental dominance:

Lea* 55 - I was a bulldyke way before there was even a term for it. I'm a dominant lover, I wear the c**k in my relationships. No matter how beautiful a trans lady is, there's this macho gal in me who just can't seem to get the same feeling I get when I'm with a cis-gendered lesbian woman.

Best of both worlds:

Molly* 25 - I'm bi-sexual so dating a trans woman for me is like having the best of both worlds! I like boobs as much as I like d**k so I'd have no problems there. It's just that some get offended if you suggest that they use their… equipment. Now I know it’s a reminder they were born in the wrong body, but how about a tiny bit of compromise?

A difficult and dangerous game:

Khloe* 33 - As a trans woman I find it tremendously difficult to date! One lady was upset with me for not telling her until after our second date that I was trans. Another accused me of being a weirdo for not disclosing it before even attempting a conversation.

But it's so dangerous to just put that out there before people get a chance to know you, not what's between your legs. It's even worse for my friends who date men!

It's saddening that most of the women who "date" me have no intention of being in a relationship, they see me as this freaky human sex toy. They make me feel like I'm only good to fulfill kinky fantasies. Just not girlfriend, wife, or even meet-the-parents material.

Same love, same anatomy:

Danika* 30 - I've been a lesbian since age twenty-six, before that I thought I was bi. I've never had an orgasm with any of my many boyfriends. Penile penetration was never enjoyable for me.

I love a woman's mind, personality etc but I also love her body. I love her v****a and that's a big part of me being a lesbian. So when I dated a trans woman then broke up with her after two months, it wasn't because I was a heartless bitch. I realized I simply connected only with a woman who has the same anatomy as me.

There you have it; if a lesbian is unwilling to date a trans woman, does that make her transphobic? Does that make her the Grinch of the LGBTQ community? Or does it make her an honest human who is simply exercising her right to choose? Either way, the future for trans people is still looking partly cloudy and we all should have a conversation about how to possibly change that. What say you?