Confessions of a Sex Worker - Aliens

I work on a phone sex line, I have done on and off for the past three years.

I bet you're thinking "phone sex lines? Just a bunch of guys wanting blow jobs and threesomes, right?". Well, okay, sometimes. But most of the time, people go to phone sex lines for three reasons.

1) They are lonely - Aw, these people can be quite sweet and you end up chatting to them about their day and their interests.

2) Their kink is illegal - I don't think this needs much explaining, does it? And before you ask, yes I have to discuss illegal things too because unless it sounds like they are in the middle of doing something illegal or they tell you lots of details about the illegal things they have done, the police won't be interested,

3) They like some weird (but specific) things and they want someone to play along. - On the phone lines, I am whoever you want me to be. I look however you want me to look and I will do whatever you want me to do. Porn isn't that specific and until porn can cater to the viewer that much, there will always be a market for us phone sex workers.

So, where do aliens come in to things? Well, I have decided to release a series of blog posts detailing the weirdest requests I get on the phones and this is (hands down) one of the oddest things I have ever been asked to talk about.

This guy is a regular with my company, the receptionist gave me a quick introduction to the type of things he liked before putting him through to me. She told me he likes to put weird things inside you. He likes to talk about using tree branches and things to penetrate you. You can imagine my joy (sarcasm).

When he actually began talking though, he told me he wanted me to be abducted by aliens. (Apparently there were no tree branches on the menu that evening). He said he wanted them to take me into their space ship and probe me. He asked me how they penetrated me and what with. (It is VERY hard to render me speechless but I genuinely struggled for a second).

"A tentacle?" I offered, looking at my phone with disbelief.

"Yessss!" he hissed. "What did it feel like?"

"Slimey and big". Ew. Ew on so many levels.

"Yes, did it feel nice inside you?" he asked. At this point I thought, might as well go with it.

"Sure,"

"The alien got you pregnant didn't he?"

When I say I have had an interesting day at work, I really do mean it!

I think by the end of that call I was trying my best not to gag. This really was one for the record books.

It really made me appreciate the guys that call in just wanting to hear me tell them about how I'm going to stroke their "big hard cocks".

We work on a booking system, so men have to pay for their time before they come through to me. They book 10,15,25 minutes (or an open call if they are a regular) and pay for their entire timeslot, even if they finish before their time is up.

My absolute favourite type of caller is the caller that books ten minutes and finishes in two minutes. We just want to earn our money, pay our bills and have an easy shift.

Most of the people in my life know what I do for a living. My partner knows too. I don't feel ashamed. Men created this market, women like me just learned how to profit from it.