Burlesque to Boudoir: Reclaiming My Body. Part 2

Continued from Part 1

It's been four weeks. May of 2017. Let's do this! I'm gonna get naked on stage this weekend and I wanna win!

*ring, ring*

...

...

...Crap. Mama Boudit calls and gives me the news, Grandpa passed away in their home. He was my last grand parent. The three days leading up to the show are a blur. I can barely focus at work. I can't focus on rehearsing.

But the show must go on! I have a new costume to finish. I have my previous performance to tighten up. Fabric to buy. An egg to bejewel. What the fuck is wrong with me?!

It was several years back when Mama Boudit told me something when people you love pass away. "It's okay to be happy when you're happy. It's okay to be sad when you're say. What's not okay is to feel guilty. You have no reason to feel guilty."

*Deep breath* You can do this. It's okay to do this.

Lady Gaga wrote "Edge of Glory" for her grandparents. Grandpa danced with Grandma. He's dancing with her now.

I can do this. I will do this.

SHOW TIME!

Start strong, Tinka. You can do this!

Good face. Keep it up. You got this. You're sweaty and scared, but they don't know it!

Aaaand what is that stance? That face? Why? What are you doing? It's not as bad as last time. It's fine. It's fine!

Have fun with it. Look at who's out there for you. Look at their faces! Make it worth it for them.

You're taking off your pants wrong, but they have no idea. Don't let them know you're screwing up! Is my face burning? My face feels like it's burning.

Keep smiling. Have fun with it. They're YOURS!

You don't care that you're not graceful. Graceful is not the point of this performance. It's not what you do. Leave that to the others.

Okay. You're a little graceful. But don't push it.

Excellent. Negate that gracefulness by looking at your own boobs. What else is new?

No. I don't dance well, but I got these huge boobs. And the best punchline...

Googly-boobablly eyes and jumping-jacks. That never gets old. My heart feels like it could explode out of my chest. There is something so bizarre about being the only topless one on the room...

...the only intentionally topless one in the room. Oh, in case you forgot, you ruined your favorite, discontinued lipstick trying to make that smiley face on your stomach again.

You are a damn cartoon clown...I've never been so proud of you. *wipes away a tear*

You are a powerful lady!

You defy fucking GRAVITY! You make back fat and cellulite look good!

Your face is burning. You're sweating. Tinka, your eyes are closed but the looks on the faces of the people in the people in the crowd are damn entertained.

THIS is being alive. This is your story Tinka. That is YOUR five dollars balled up by your knee.

Like Mama Boudit said, "It's okay to be happy when you're happy." And I'm overjoyed. This went so much better.

...Now to do the performance that I more or less dubbed, "I have an idea of what I want to do, now improvise!"

My second performance was inspired by a song I heard on Youtube: a cover of a cover of the Game of Thrones theme song.

The idea behind this performance was to depict Daeneryes Targaryen in Season 1 of Game of Thrones

This one was hard. Not because I had very little planned, but because I had NO IDEA what to do with my face. The song allowed me to go slow and pace myself, which is really good. Yey, with the characterization, I didn't know how to exude the look.

At the beginning of the season, Dany is scared, meek, and sad...how do I make that sexy? Do I make it sexy? Do I know how to try and be sexy?

Okay, Okay Tinka. Um...go for, um, thoughtful. Yeah! Introspective. That might work. That might avoid the dead fish face!

Yes! That's it! You're scared and alone. You want to go home to Westeros!

No, you don't have HBO money, but that's okay. Put your sparkly dragon egg on the pyre and try not to look like a fool. You timed your performance to the song. You know when you have to take your costume pieces off. It's everything else in between that's the tough part.

Convey you're getting plowed by Drogo, but you're...not happy about it...yet? Man this is hard and weird! My face still feels like it's on fire. Okay, come on, you got this!

Alright. You got this! It's interpretive...yeah, that's it. In here, he is your Khal. The line from the show, 'Don't make love like a slave.' *looks down at nothing and no one.* The audience gets it, right? Maybe? Keep going!

"Fire cannot kill a dragon." ...That's great, but my face is still burning and I can't stop sweating.

Connect with the audience. Look at the egg; look at them.

"Now you're thinking like a queen. Not a queen. A Khalessi."

"I will be your Khalessi. You will be my Khalessar."

Bah! You were doing better. The face, the posture! Fix it!

Better! You are no longer Tinka Boudit. You ARE Daeneryes Targaryen. Breaker of Chains.

Queen of the Andals and the First Men. Protector of the Seven Kingdoms.

The Unburned.

And Mother of Dragons.

Out of the ashes of last month's loss, failed performances, painful loss of my grandfather, arose Tinka Boudit, stronger than yesterday.

Tinka Boudit: What she lacks in shame, she makes up for in imperfection. The Punchline of Sexiness. Borrower of Pasties. The heart of discord. Real and Spectacular.

Stage call!

Who will win?!

Alas, another loss for Tinka Boudit. Winner was Sinnasaurus Vex, the one in the white tuxedo shirt.

This wasn't my time to win, and that's okay. It was another great experience. It's okay. I rose from the ashes. Oh, and it turns out that face burning? Wicked chemical burn from the adhesive keeping those gems on my face. I had red dots on my face for a month after that.

...

This isn't Tinka's end. It's only the beginning of my road.

What's that down the road...pole dancing classes?

...Until Part 3.