Blow & Go: Part One

October has always been my favorite month of the year, not because of my birthday, but because it's a spooky month. Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday; I love the creepy atmosphere and seeing the decorations wherever I go. For me, it's like, for thirty-one days, I'm - safely - living in a horror movie; I love it. Although the weather is usually cold and damp, I love that, too; it's a much-needed respite after the atrocities of summer, especially summer without air conditioning.

I turned twenty-six in the October of 2016; I had lost my virginity the year before - on Devil's Night - but had not had sex since. As the summer heat dissipated into the cool darkness of October, I found myself itching for a sexual encounter again; it had been a while since I'd so much as touched a penis that wasn't my own - I needed to have an orgasm that wasn't self-inflicted.

That year, I was especially excited for the new Rocky Horror Picture Show to air on Fox, even though the original was absolutely perfect and I wasn't overly enthused about a transgender actress - Laverne Cox - playing the infamous transvestite, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, formerly played by the incomparable Tim Curry. It wasn't that I had an issue with Laverne Cox, or trans people in general, but to me, it seemed reductive to have a trans-woman portray a transvestite; after all, wouldn't that just further feed the narrative that trans people were just full-time crossdressers? All I could think of was the line from Rob Zombie's Halloween II, "I'm a chick, dressed up as a dude who wants to be a chick."

The night the show was about to air on Fox, I was bummed. I wanted to watch it, but the TV in my bedroom didn't have cable; the living room had been taken over by my uncle by then, and I knew that he would not be kind enough to let me borrow the TV to watch something as gay as The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He ended up going out that night, but before I could claim the television, my grandma sat down in the recliner and turned the TV on. I couldn't be mad, it was her house after all and she paid the bills.

I was in the basement watching my cousin play a game when my phone went off. Aside from Grindr, I was also on a similar app called Hornet; while I prefer Grindr, Hornet did have a better variety of guys. The message was from a guy in his early twenties named Tyler - not to be confused with the bisexual Tyler I ended up losing my anal virginity to. He wasn't really my type - with dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and glasses, but he was eager to suck my dick, and he swore he had no gag reflex. I knew it was cold outside, but that was our only option; Tyler was surprisingly down to sneak over and give me "the best head" of my life.

When he messaged me to tell me that he was almost to my house, I hurriedly went into my bathroom and washed my dick and ass; I didn't want there to possibly be any funk from bodily functions. I stood outside in the cold with a blanket wrapped around me as I watched his gray car pull into the driveway. He was about my height and enviably slim; what I'd give to be that skinny again.

After exchanging awkward greetings, we started walking out toward the old barn and the woods. I stopped at my car to grab the comforters that I kept in my trunk to lay down on the wet grass. I shivered, despite my heavy clothes, jacket, and the blanket around my shoulders; I hoped that this would be a quick endeavor - I have never handled the cold well.

Instead of going into the barn - the Blair Witch house - we went around to the back part and set up camp in the tall grass. The comforters helped keep the frost off our clothes as we sat down. I wasn't sure how to get the ball rolling; I have always been awkward and uncomfortable around new people - I didn't want to kiss him or even cuddle with him, but was it appropriate to just pull my sweatpants down or start touching his dick?

I decided to be patient and let him lead the way. Over the next hour, I sat there, holding myself tightly as he told me everything about his life. I learned that he was adopted, that he worked at the McDonald's in Midland, that he hardly slept, paid extra for a manual transmission car, and took out a major loan to purchase a desktop computer.

While some of what he said was interesting, I couldn't help but want to just push him to the ground and shove my dick in his mouth. I liked a little conversation beforehand to ease the awkwardness, but after ten or fifteen minutes, I was just ready to get it over and done with. I didn't want to be rude, but I was freezing and the later it got, the more suspicious it would look when I tried to sneak back into the house.

Eventually, I decided to just go for it and I grabbed his dick. He immediately tensed up and withdrew into the sitting version of the fetal position. "I'm sorry," I said, regarding him with wide eyes, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I was just...trying to get it started. It's cold out here and we've been out here for almost an hour..."

He visibly relaxed and then scooted closer to me. As I lay back against the blanket, he freed my cock and started touching it. The cold air did not feel good on my dick, but his warm hand quickly kept it safe. Before I knew it, I was in his mouth. The warmth of his mouth - and his body close up to mine - felt great in contrast to the bone deep chill that hung heavily in the air. I'd gotten a few blowjobs by that point in my life, but none of them had ever been lifechanging; sure, they'd felt good and I'd cum, but it was always a long, drawn-out process that I'd chalked up to nerves from always doing it in the backseat of my car.

Tyler was good; I wasn't moaning or convulsing involuntarily or anything, but he was definitely the best I'd ever had. It was so refreshing to be with a guy who knew what he was doing! All I'd ever heard was that gay guys gave the best blowjobs - because they had dicks and knew how to operate them - but in my experience there was no evidence of that. Sometimes, I thought that I might just be one of those guys that doesn't like head all that much, but as Tyler worked his oral magic, I knew that I definitely enjoyed getting head.

After I came in his mouth, I lay there, panting. He sat up with a smug grin on his face. "So, did I live up to the hype?" he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"That was definitely the best head I've ever gotten," I confessed, closing my eyes; I was going to sleep well that night, no doubt.

"You're still hard," he noted, his hand moving up and down on my wet penis.

"It'll go down," I assured him, smiling. I felt calm and relaxed in a way that I hadn't in a long time. It was kind of like the high I got whenever I would start smoking again; the first couple of cigarettes would make me lightheaded and euphoric as my body adjusted to the rush of nicotine.

"Or...I could suck it again."

I opened my eyes to see him grinning devilishly. "I mean, if you want to...you don't have to."

"I don't mind. You have a nice dick."

"Thanks." I didn't want to be rude and not offer to return the favor, so I said, "would you like me to suck yours? I could definitely use the practice; I've only done it a few times."

"You can if you want, but I won't be mad if you don't want to. I just really wanted to suck yours." He shrugged. "You said you still have your gag reflex, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I got rid of mine."

"How?"

"I kept sticking my finger down my throat until I stopped gagging."

While the idea of throwing up while giving a guy head was utterly horrifying, the idea of sticking my finger down my throat repeatedly was equally unpleasant. I - understandably - hated puking; there was no way to throw up with dignity and poise.

"I do have to warn you though," Tyler continued, lying back on the blanket as I worked at tugging his pants down, "I've never cum before."

"You've never cum before!?" I practically screamed. "How!?"

"I've cum before from, like, jerking off, but with a guy it takes me a really long time."

As I got his cock free and started rubbing it, relishing the warmth it was lending my cold fingers, I found my mouth watering; it wasn't an exceptionally big dick or anything, but the challenge of being the first to make him cum was making me horny all over again.

I slipped him into my mouth and started moving my head up and down slowly. My tongue glided up and down the shaft before flicking on the underside of the head. It didn't take long for his salty precum to start leaking out.

When I stopped for a break, I asked, "how's that?"

"Good!" he panted, gazing at me through half-lidded eyes.

"Great." I acted cavalier about it, but that praise made me feel better than anything had in quite a while.

"Have you ever 69ed? he asked, shifting onto his side.

"No, I've never been able to. Most of my blowjob experiences take place in the backseat of my car, and while Black Betty is quite spacious, there still isn't room for any of that."

"Do you want to try? I really want to suck you again."

"We can try..."

I awkwardly tried to get myself into position, basically planking over Tyler, but upside down. I slipped a little and crushed him. He was glaring at me as I shifted again to try to get comfortable. "Don't smother me!" he gasped.

"Sorry." I adjusted to a sustainable position and we started again.

It didn't take long for me to realize that 69 was only good fresh out of the shower. While his dick tasted normal, with my head that close to everything, I could smell his ass; apparently, he'd taken a shit at work - I could smell it. I wanted to gag, to stop immediately, but I didn't want to be rude or hurt his feelings, so I shifted so that I was farther away from his ass, the smell no longer assaulting my nostrils. It helped that with the cold really setting in, my nose started to run. I knew that I had every right to be disgusted by the smell of his hole, but I've never been good at saying things that can potentially be hurtful - not in a serious way, at least.

We 69ed for a while before my jaw started to hurt. Tyler's mouth felt great, but I wanted to make him cum; I thought if he just laid back and enjoyed it, he might actually be able to finish.

I asked him to let me know how close he was on a scale of one to ten and then went back to focusing on sucking him. I pulled out all the stops: deepthroating him, licking and sucking at various speeds. "Seven out ten," he panted. "Eight out of ten."

I gave a porn-worthy performance, even going so far as to moan low in my throat to try to egg him on. I gagged on it - even though it wasn't big enough to choke on - and tried to focus solely on the things that made him squirm.

After forty-five minutes, Tyler went limp. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling his pants up. "You did a really good job, it just...I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to cum."

"It's okay," I assured him, sitting up and massaging my jaw. Something told me that I would be feeling it when I woke up the next day. "As long as it wasn't because I'm bad at it..."

"You're far from bad at it," he assured me. "What time is it?"

It was after eleven PM. Suddenly, his phone lit up, and he quickly answered it. "Hey, mom. Yeah, I'm okay. I stopped at a friend's house on my way home. Yep. I'm about to head home in a few. Okay, bye."

We agreed to call it quits for the night. I gathered up the blankets and then we walked back to the house. As I was putting the blankets back in the trunk, Tyler started his car and turned to me. "We'll have to do this again sometime," he said.

"Yeah, definitely," I agreed, shivering. "Hopefully when it's not so cold outside. I feel like I have frostbite."'

"We'll figure it out." Tyler got into his car and waved as he threw it in reverse. I quickly snuck back into the dark house and basked in the blessed warmth.

That was not the last time I saw Tyler. Although the smell of his dirty ass was a major turn off for me, I had to take some of the blame for that, too. I'd known that he was coming over straight from work, but had the roles been reversed I wouldn't have suggested 69ing when I knew my ass wasn't one hundred percent clean. Still, he was nice enough, even more awkward than I was, which was rare and honestly, a relief. We added each other on Facebook so that we could stay in touch and plan another time to hang out. My jaw ended up hurting for two days after my forty-five-minute suck fest.

I've often wondered what about Tyler made the experience more enjoyable than with other guys. Could it be that he was not my type at all, so I was able to be more relaxed, safe in the knowledge that were absolutely no expectations beyond that night? Could it be that he was more awkward than I was, giving me the advantage - for once - of not having to play the part of the normal, functioning person the entire time? Having sucked my fair share of dicks, I find it hard to believe that certain guys are head gods while others are absolute trash; the basic principles are the same, regardless of who is performing the act, and while deepthroating is nice, it has never been a dealbreaker for me. Maybe I liked the added thrill of doing it outside, even though it was pitch black outside and the odds of us getting caught were slim to none. Whatever the reason was, to this day, Tyler remains one of the best blowjobs I've ever received, behind Santiago and bisexual Tyler.