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Bisexuality and Me

Every bisexual is different, of course.

By Victor VazPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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A few days back I wanted to publish an article in which I express my views regarding the media, but that post in not publishable (maybe someday). In that post, my heterosexual side comes out, describing my "boy" behavior when it comes to girls and the media which portrays men with beards, tall, and well-defined. In this article I'll talk about my sexual orientation, telling you what this is.

Let me clarify that bisexuality is not a phase, we are not confused, and it's something that truly exists. If you're attracted to both genders at at least some level and you're able to hold relationships in a romantic way, then you might be bisexual.

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In my dreams, I'm not male or female--I appear to be something fluid and able to morph into a unisex, genderless, sexless being.

The above quote is what I feel (maybe subconsciously) and what I dream when it comes to my sexual orientation. To elaborate further on that thought, in my dreams I'm either female or male which means that when I'm male I tend to either have sex with female beings or with males. It can change in that dream, or my sexuality can stay the same throughout. In dreams, I'm able to morph into either male of female because that's what I feel--that's my sexual orientation. However, there are other times when I'm neither.

Bisexuality is different for every bisexual. When I moved out of my university dorms and for the first time lived with roommates, my roommate used to tell me that I was not bisexual--that I was gay. He used to say that because either he was gay himself or because he wanted me to be gay; whichever the reason was, he thought so 'cause he thought that every bisexual was the same: If you're bisexual, then you're equally attracted to male and female. Wrong. Every bisexual is different, and I'm here as proof of that.

Before I come to what you're here for, let's go back to when a bisexual is a child. When I was a kid I was truly attracted to girls, BUT I was also attracted to the other gender, except that the other gender weren't boys, they were grown men. I remember that I used to stare at girls and have the feels for them, but I also had my other attraction which was the attraction to grown men in magazines. My attraction for this group demanded of my attention, to the point where I once hid a magazine page (where these men modeled their underwear) behind my shirt, but my mother spotted me and I got scolded for doing so. I kissed a boy when I was around eight years old (he was ugly). When got I to elementary and middle school, my attraction for grown men became dormant, thus prompting me to focus only on women. When I entered high school I began to be attracted to men again; at this point I was too confused to label myself as either heterosexual, bisexual, or gay. The frustration was so intense that I had to give up--I didn't know what I wanted anymore. Which brings me to my next paragraph.

I'm bisexual, but I'm attracted to one gender more than the other. I have to say that in a way my gay roommate was right about me being gay because I'm mostly attracted to men; but I'm also attracted to women. What do you call that? It's called homoflexible. But I'm bisexual because I have attractions to both genders, it's just that I'm inclined to be attracted to men a little bit more; but I can still romantically hold relationships with either gender. The internet says that you have to be equally attracted to both genders to be bisexual, but to that I say that if you're at least attracted to both genders, and if you're able to hold relationships with both, then that counts as bisexual.

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About the Creator

Victor Vaz

Greetings. My name is VV, you can call me Chaneke, Jinjo, Peachboy, Arsenie, but not Omar; as only my family calls me that.

I decided to join Vocal to expose certain things you must know; things no one talks about (future articles for you).

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