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Best Nude Beaches in the World

The best nude beaches in the world to soak up the sun, au naturel.

By Filthy StaffPublished 8 years ago 5 min read
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Bathing suits suck. Nude beaches present the perfect opportunity to take it all off. Bring lots of sun tan lotion, because the best nude beaches in the world are notorious for burning balls, breast and eyeballs. Below are the best nude beaches in the world where you will be exposed to every size, shape and color your wicked mind has ever imagined.

Warning:

  • Sand will get in each and every crevice.
  • There are no rules on who can take their clothes off.
  • If you point your iPhone in the wrong direction, you may get your ass kicked.
  • Aloe vera only goes so far on pubic sunburns.

Praia do Pinho in Balneário Camboriú, Brazil

Praia do Pinho is considered to be the first naturist, a.k.a. beach in Brazil. Unaccompanied males aren’t allowed on the premises, so don’t forget to bring your lady friend. Nudity is mandatory here; don’t be shy. Leave your clothes in the car, and feel the sand between your cheeks. This is Brazil, so kick back, learn some Portuguese, and admire the world-famous Brazilian beauty. If your nips get scorched, throw on a shirt and head over to Beto Carrero World, the largest theme park in South America. The main disadvantage is that it’s a widely popular tourist attraction, so it could get crowded.

Plan your trip to Praia do Pinho

Plage de Tahiti in St. Tropez, France

At this popular celebrity location, prepare to see stars. St. Tropez beaches are famous for topless sunbathing, and the Plage de Tahiti is no exception. Go see the place where And God Created Women was filmed, and femme fatale Brigitte Bardot wrecked marriages with beauty. Due to the popularity of the St. Tropez area, the food and parking fees can get expensive. In order to avoid tourist prices, travel to the inland areas. And hey, you might be able to treat a nude beach bum to some pizza and beer.

Plan your trip to Plage de Tahiti

Grande Saline Beach in St. Barthelemy, Caribbean

St. Barthélemy is a French speaking island in the Caribbean, and the word on the street is that the views are hot. Technically, you can keep your swimsuit on, but the norm is to bare all. One half of the beach is for straight people, and the other is for gays. I’m not going to tell you which one is which, because it’s more fun to find out the hard way (or the easy way, depending on how tightly wound you are.) Due to the length of the beach, you may find yourself wandering alone. If you’re flying solo, please wear pants. Like drinking, it’s no fun to be naked alone.

Plan your trip to Grande Saline Beach

Es Trenc in Mallorca, Spain

This beach is absolutely beautiful, and the nude part isn’t nearly as crowded. Pro tip: Come early in the summer to avoid crowds. Motorized vehicles are banned so you won’t get an earful of two-stroke engine. Grab some sangria, a Spanish novia, and some sunscreen (because you don’t want your delicates to get crisped.)

Plan your trip to Es Trenc

Wreck Beach in Vancouver, Canada

This beach was nominated to be one the Canada’s Seven Wonders. Just west of Vancouver, this popular attraction is not overcrowded, due to the lack of road access roads. The beach adjoins the University of British Columbia, so you’ll likely see some local college talent. Despite the lack of tropical climate (you are in Canada, after all), you’ll likely get a free jello shot. But you probably already get free booze anywhere you go, right you foxy lass? Tourists use the world “retro” to describe this flash to the past beach with a palpable 70s vibe. Have you ever seen a naked person wear platform shoes? You could be the first.

Plan your trip to Wreck Beach

Samurai Beach in Port Stephens, Australia

Close to One-Mile beach, this popular site maintains the fabulous sights you’ll find there, along with the visceral views you’ll see with the clothing optional. Saddle up, mate, and make some friends while playing beach volleyball. The bouncing T&A might raise the mast in the volleyball pit, so give yourself some sheen with sunscreen oil and Nair. It’s also a good idea to bring mace for the local wildlife and nude beach creepos. But seriously, you’re in Australia. Let’s not forget it's where Steve Irwin died. This is also one of the highest reviewed beaches on Trip Advisor, boasting a bold 4.5 rating.

Plan your trip to Samurai Beach

Bellevue Beach in Klampenborg, Denmark

At this world famous nude beach, sexy coeds flock like hungry seagulls. Throw some beer and tequila at them, and they keep coming back. This party beach is for the loud music tolerant, and those ready for a decadent Spring Break. One half of the beach is for the textiles (clothed people) and the other side, the better side I might add, is for the naked and unafraid. College folk come from nearby towns to hang free and get sandy. Since the 1930’s this coastline has been Denmark’s most popular destination. Long piers reach out into the water, so you can swim and avoid getting seaweed in your crack.

Plan your trip to Bellevue Beach

Little Beach in Maui, Hawaii

Jump on a plane and drop trou, because this tropical paradise is no place for artificial covering. Once you hop over the ol’ lava flow, prepare to have your nethers kissed by the Hawaiian sun. The once downside to this beach is the sharp lava rocks. If you need help crossing the rocks, ask for it. In the relaxed atmosphere, somebody is bound to lend a hand. And hey, making friends is the reason we go to nude beaches in the first place. Avoid the woods as some people don’t bury their mess, and the lads go behind there to do laddy things.

Plan your trip to Little Beach

So there you have it, folks. Whip off your swim suits and snap on your birthday suit, because nobody is going to tell you how to dress. Bring sun screen, and for the love of God, reapply. One bad experience and you will never come back. Also, be considerate of the lookiloos who hide their kids and peer over one shoulder to check out a middle aged mud flapper. There are designated places to fly free, and most are marked by signs. Smile, meet some people, and always lead from the hip.

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About the Creator

Filthy Staff

A group of inappropriate, unconventional & disruptive professionals. Some are women, some are men, some are straight, some are gay. All are Filthy.

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