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Being Sex Positive is not just about having sex

Sex Positivity Myths and Truths

By Rick VermuntPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Sex Positivity May Not Just Be About Sex

You may have heard the phrase sex positive thrown around, tagged on social media but what is it? At first it may appear to advocate for sexual activity. Somewhat, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Condoning the practice of safe sex whether it be a little or a lot is only a small part of the sex positive movement.

In our time we are surrounded by sex, attraction and firtation. From the invention of dating applications to the sensual advertisements for pasta or perfume. We are perhaps living in the most sexualised era, and yet there are many aspects of sex, exploration, sexuality and flirtation, health and education that are heavily discriminated, repressed and shamed.

Being sex positive, or recognising sex positivity is the opposite of this.

The core of being sex positive is the notion of informed consent and power within your own and other’s sexual choices. Whether that be abstaining from sex, having no interest in sex or having lots of sex. The movement, the notion, the hashtag aims to remove the stigma and associated shame from all sexual choices.

In its basic essence the sex positive movement aims to one day have a society where people feel comfortable talking about sex, where people’s preferences are celebrated and not repressed based on fear and most importantly where education based on all things sex is accessible for everyone.

With so much available on the internet, social media, phones, fashion etc, it is a wonder that our sexual education has changed very little for schools and is still a point for awkward conversations instead of informative instruction and advocating for normalising this as a subject of discussion. This is perhaps the starting point to one of the biggest myths: sex and sexuality is shameful.

Sex and sexuality is normal, human and a large part of us as individuals and society.

Sexuality is again, an option that many individuals today feel shame speaking out about, identifying about or finding support. Sexuality can be as simple as identifying individual preferences. We are lucky that with more discussion, protests and awareness more laws, policies and procedures are being put in place to ensure that individuals feel safe to express themselves in today’s and tomorrow’s society

It may also be surprising that the umbrella term sex positivity is also a term that can is related to sexual health. Sexual health can include Sexually transmitted Infections, Urinary and genital infections, fertility and infertility, contraception and abortion, healthy relationships, access to medicine and education devoid of judgement, discrimination and fear.

Consent:

Back to the core of sex positivity. Consent. There isn’t a single aspect of sex positivity that can exist without consent. Each and every partner involved in any form, act or scene needs to be consented to by everyone involved. Consent is a beautiful notion that is more than permission, it is understanding as well. Consent can be given and rescinded and regardless if someone changes their mind, consent should at all times be respected and adhered to and never violated.

Perhaps you have heard of the Cup of Tea analogy?

Consent is like a cup of tea.

You can ask a person if they would like tea. If they hesitate, they are unsure, you can’t give them tea if they don’t know if they would like it.

You cannot force someone to drink a cup of tea.

You cannot give someone a cup of tea if they are asleep.

If someone says yes to a cup of tea, and you get them a cup and they change their mind, then they don’t want the tea.

Another point that is crucial to understanding, advocating for and being sex positive, is that you don’t need to be into all lifestyles, acts or sexuality to be sex positive. As long as you can accept that all people have different preferences, free of discrimination and judgement - then you can count yourself sex positive.

I am Tiffany a consultant at the Oh Zone Adult Stores and proud to be sex positive environments where we welcome everyone within consensual parameters. Come in and talk to our friendly experts. We are part of your community and believe that sex positivity and sexuality should be celebrated.

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About the Creator

Rick Vermunt

Rick is a blogger for Adultsmart an online adult lifestyle blog/shop with over 30 years in the adult industry. An advocate of equality and free choice his articles have been featured on Huffington Post, Elle,  Mens Health and many more.

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