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By Tanisha BledsoePublished 4 days ago 5 min read

It has been more than two years since I last saw my father. What I can't forget is the sight of his back.

That winter, grandmother died and father lost his job. It never rains but it pours. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, intending to follow my father home for the funeral. When I saw my father in Xuzhou, the sight of everything in the courtyard and the thought of my grandmother made me burst into tears. The father said, "This has happened. There is no need to be sad. Fortunately, there is no way out!"

Home to sell the pledge, father also paid the deficit; And borrowed money to pay for the funeral. These days, the family situation is very bleak, half because of the funeral, half because of father's unemployment. When the funeral was over, my father wanted to go to Nanjing to work, and I wanted to go back to Beijing to study. So we went together.

When I arrived in Nanjing, a friend asked me to hang out and stayed for a day. The next morning I had to cross the river to Pukou and in the afternoon I got on the train to go north. My father had already decided not to see me off, because he was busy, and asked a familiar steward in the hotel to accompany me. He instructed the steward again and again, very carefully. But he finally worried, afraid that the steward would not agree; There was some hesitation. As a matter of fact, I was already twenty years old and had already traveled to and from Beijing two or three times. After some hesitation, he finally decided to see me off himself. I urged him not to go; He only said, "Never mind, it is not good for them to go!"

We crossed the river and entered the station. I bought the ticket while he looked after the luggage. There was so much luggage that I had to ask a porter to get through. He was busy haggling with them again. I was so clever that I always thought he was not very pretty, and had to interrupt myself, but at last he settled on a price; Just walk me to my car. He chose a seat for me by the door; I covered the seat with the purple fur coat he had made for me. He told me to be careful on the way, and to be alert at night so that I would not catch cold. And asked the steward to take good care of me. I laughed secretly at his pedantry; They only know money, they are just a trust! Besides, can't a man of my age take care of himself? Oh, now that I think about it, how clever I was!

I said, "Dad, go away." He looked out of the car and said, "I'm going to buy some oranges. You stay where you are. Don't move." I saw a few sellers waiting for customers over the railings of the platform. To get to that platform, you have to cross the tracks, jump down and climb up. My father was a fat man, so it was easy to walk there. I was going to go, but he wouldn't, so I had to let him go. I saw him, wearing a black cloth cap, a black cloth jacket and a dark blue cloth cotton robe, tottering to the railway track and leaning down slowly. It was not difficult. But it was not easy for him to cross the tracks and climb up to that platform. He held it with both hands, and drew his feet up again; His fat body leaned slightly to the left, showing effort, when I saw his back, my tears quickly poured down. I quickly dried my tears. Lest he see it, lest others see it. When I looked out again, he was walking back with the vermilion orange in his arms. When crossing the railway track, he put the oranges on the ground, climbed down slowly, then picked up the oranges and walked away. When I got here, I hastened to help him. He walked with me to the car and put all the oranges on my fur coat. Then patting the soil on his clothes, his heart is very relaxed. After a while said: "I'm leaving, when you get there letter!" I watched him go out. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, "Go in. There's no one in there." When his figure was lost in the crowd, I came in and sat down. My tears came again.

In recent years, my father and I have been moving from place to place, and the situation in our family has gone from bad to worse. He went out to make a living when he was young, supported himself, and did many great things. Who knew an old age could be so depressed? His eyes touched with grief, and naturally he could not help himself. Feeling depressed in, natural hair in the outside; Domestic trivialities often infuriated him. He gradually treated me differently. But in the last two years, he finally forgot my bad and just thought about me and my son. After I came to the north, he wrote to me, "I am fine, but my arm hurts so much that it is difficult for me to use chopsticks or pens. I think it is not long before I die." As I read this, I caught sight of the back of the fat man in the blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket through the glistening tears. Alas! I don't know when I'll see him again!


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