Avenues: Ch. 8

I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel seeing my father for the first time since the day they locked him up for good. I didn’t feel the familiar rage I’d been carrying around all these years. Pity was also not part of the equation as I watched the guards haul him into the visiting area and push him down onto the table as they un-cuffed him. I was numb from head to toe. I believe this is what Susie would call a defense mechanism. I couldn’t let a single word this man would say get to me today. I couldn’t take anything personal. I was here for one thing and one thing only. I needed information and that was all this needed to be. A cordial transaction.

Emilio Perez sat across from me, hands folded in front of him, his calm and curious piercing gaze roaming over my face. He looked almost proud. And I almost laughed. As if he’d had anything to do with how I’d finally gotten my shit together.

“You look good, son. That new girlfriend of yours must be treating you well,” Emilio began the conversation and I arched an eyebrow, wondering how he knew about Susie. Or the fact that Diana and I were no longer together. Or had ever been together at all for that matter. He’d been long gone before we started dating.

“Who’s your contact outside?” I countered, questioning who in their right mind would feed this guy any information on me, knowing he was practically dead to me.

“I have eyes everywhere,” he replied firmly. I believed him. His multi-borough circle of friends had been the reason he’d found out my mother had been seeing his best friend on and off behind his back for years. He killed them both for it. His best friend first. Then my mother. Which explained the double life sentence he received. According to my uncle Ivan anyway. He’d managed to slip it into the conversation while we waited for Marissa to come out of surgery on Christmas Eve.

None of that mattered now. My mother’s fucked up love life got her killed and there was nothing I could do about it. But if I could have just five more minutes with her, I wouldn’t hug her. I wouldn’t beg her to stay. I wouldn’t cry. I would merely ask her if it was all worth losing her fucking life for.

Was love really worth it?

“What do you know about Oliver? I need some dirt on him. Something to get him to back the fuck off for good,” I said, redirecting the conversation to its rightful topic.

“Straight shooter. Your mother raised you right.”

“I told you not to fucking mention her,” I snapped, slamming my fist against the table, feeling the numbness slowly transition into a flood of anger. I cleared my throat and tried to calm down when I noticed I’d caught the guard’s attention. Emilio smirked briefly, and crossed his arms over his broad chest. He’d kept himself in shape despite him being middle aged. He fit right in with the rest of the prison gym rats around here.

“Maybe you need to talk about her. It looks like you have alot of shit to say.”

“I didn’t come here for that. I came for--”

“Oliver Polscotti’s head on a fucking plate. I know. You can’t touch him. Not without getting your hands dirty. They’re watching you. But they’re not watching that pretty girlfriend of yours,” Emilio suggested and I immediately shook my head.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not using her as bait.”

“You’re going to need something he wants. And right now, he’s free and looking for something to take you out for good with. Especially after that show he failed to pull off on Christmas Eve,” he explained, scoffing at Oliver’s attempt at executing me.

“He wants me. He’s not touching Susie,” I said, making it perfectly clear that Oliver would not be going anywhere near Susie if I had anything to say about it. Emilio seemed amused by my statement, then cocked his head to the side as he studied me.

“So you’re willing to take her place? Die for her?”

“Yes,” I answered without hesitation, staring him down, daring him to fucking test my patience again. I have no problem walking out of here if I had to.

“Looks like you have a problem then, son.”

“Meaning?”

“If I can tell you’re this fucking weak over some woman, then I bet my left arm Oliver knows it too. And I’m sure he’s got something cooking already.” Fuck. Maybe he was right. Susie was in more danger now than ever before. And all because of me. Because she thinks she sees something worth loving when there probably isn’t. I needed to talk to her. Make her see I wasn’t worth losing everything for. Make her understand she didn’t need to suffer the same fate my mother had.

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It wasn’t until an hour ago that I’d finally gotten word that Susie was back in town. She’d left for a month and a half shortly after Marissa’s surgery and had left the city without so much as a text for Marissa saying she’d be back in a few weeks. Marissa was a vault when it came to keeping secrets. That could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you looked at it. She insisted that all I needed to know was that Susie was fine. Nothing more, nothing less.

As if there weren’t a lunatic out there hunting us down like an animal.

Don’t get me wrong, I was glad Susie was safe and sound and back in the city where I could see for myself no harm would come to her. I just wished she would talk to me like she used to. But ever since the night of the shooting, she’s been radio silent and I can’t say that I blame her. I gave her the space she needed. But time wasn’t on our side. We needed to stop whatever Oliver has been planning for the past few weeks and I needed her not to be in the line of fire when everything went down.

Marissa advised me not to chase after her. Repeatedly. I listened, of course. I wasn’t about to stalk Susie around the city. Luey’s crew was already keeping their eyes on her, so I wouldn’t have to. All I needed to know was that she was safe. Nothing more, nothing less. The last update I’d gotten was at least two hours ago and I was getting antsy as I dropped off passengers at one of the busiest hotels in Midtown Manhattan called The Library Hotel. The brick building stood proudly on the busy corner of Two Ninety-Nine, Madison Avenue. It was a paradise for nerds who loved books. Featuring all the classics from Homer to Pablo Neruda according to the couple in the backseat who wouldn’t stop talking about this place on the way here.

It was architecturally designed to capture your attention if you loved the feeling you got when you entered a fancy bookstore. It was Valentine’s Day nonetheless, and I had no doubt in my mind that even these two bookworms would have no problem putting down the books for a few hours, just to enjoy themselves in this place.

After helping the lovebirds unload their luggage into the hotel lobby, I headed back to my car and realized I’d gotten another RideShare request. My last passenger of the evening. And it was from Marissa. Confusion filled me as I reached for my phone to call her, but the sound of an incoming text stopped me.

It was from Marissa, claiming the request was legit. That her car was in the shop.

I shrugged it off and headed into New York City traffic, in the direction of the location the RideShare app indicated my cousin was residing at the moment. Knowing shortcuts saved you time and frustration in New York during rush hour. Which was why I was able to meet my cousin at Twenty-Six, Bleecker Street within fifteen minutes after her request in this traffic. Confusion ran through me once again as I read the words Planned Parenthood on the front of the building, as I pulled up by the curb. Marissa wasn’t alone. Susanna was at her side, keeping her gaze down at her lap as she entered the backseat along with my cousin.

I didn’t ask any questions. I was still on the clock. And any inquiries I had would no doubt be answered at a later time, whenever either of them were ready. I focused on the music playing on the radio, the horns honking while clusters of cars were packed together in traffic down Madison Avenue.

The ride to Susie’s place had been a silent one. Marissa escorted her up to her apartment, while I waited for her downstairs. Neither of us said a word to each other. The only thing we shared was a brief glance in the rear-view mirror before she exited my car. I saw nothing but sadness in her eyes and it almost killed me the second she slammed my car door into place.

That was when I realized they hadn’t been at Planned Parenthood for Marissa. They’d been there for Susie.

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It was still Valentine’s Day by the time I woke up from my nap and showered. I decided ordering Chinese Food and asking Marissa to come over and play some video games so she wouldn’t be alone, would keep me distracted enough to get me through the night. Apparently, she had plans, according to her text. I cursed and typed one to send to Luey, but before I could send it, my doorbell rang. I decided it couldn’t be the food, since I’d just ordered it five minutes ago.

I put on some basketball shorts and some deodorant before heading towards the door to open it and I cursed at myself for not looking through the peephole before opening the damn door.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in exasperation, simply because I had no energy to argue or talk or whatever it is that Susie came here to do. She looked upset and upset meant she had something on her mind she was going to unload on me. I was exhausted. From working myself to the bone. From figuring out a way to destroy Oliver without turning into the same monster I used to be. From loving her to the point of losing my fucking mind. From losing the unborn child she decided I didn’t even deserve to know about. I was tired of it all.

“You couldn’t answer the door with a shirt on?” was the first thing she questioned me about as she marched straight into my apartment and I arched an eyebrow as I closed and locked my door.

“You came all the way here to yell at me about my wardrobe choices?”

“What if I had been a neighbor or something? What then?” she continued, and I noticed her hands were shaking. She was nervous about something. I was itching to go to her, to comfort her.

But I wasn’t about to give in just yet.

“I’ve picked up the mail downstairs in less. They’re used to it,” I answered, as I looked at her in concern. I’ve been around her long enough to notice when Susie was having a meltdown and this seemed to be a symptom of her boiling point. Asking irrelevant questions, shaky hands, rambling. Susie wanted people to think she had it all together. I’ve told her time and time again it was an exhausting way to live.

“What’s going on, Susie? Why are you here?” I pressed, crossing my arms over my chest as I waited. I watched her sit on the armrest of my sofa as she looked down at her trembling hands, tears streaming down her cheeks as she quietly sobbed. It took all I had in me not to go to her. And I didn’t. My father’s words were still living rent free in my head and I hated that I thought he might be right. Susie made me weak. If she weren’t in the picture, Oliver would’ve been taken care of by now.

“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go through with the abortion,” she confessed and the overwhelming amount of relief that poured over me almost made me tear up. I hadn’t realized I even wanted kids until the possibility of me having one even came about tonight. And I decided that if the universe wanted me to be a father, then I’d be better than the one I had been too unfortunate in receiving. Now that I had the chance of being something bigger than I ever thought I could be, I wanted to repay whatever good karma I was receiving right now with whatever I had left in me.

“I was sitting there, ready to pretend this never happened when all of a sudden, I see the portrait I did of you on someone’s t-shirt and I fucking lost it,” Susie explained, her tear-filled eyes looking up at me as her lips quivered, nothing but anguished love in her gaze as I held it. For as long as I’ve known her, she’s been adamant about not having kids, claiming her cool exterior wasn’t appropriate for what children needed. Which was why I automatically assumed she’d gotten the abortion. Now that I knew she decided otherwise, I thought it best to get over my ego and comfort her.

I grew closer to her, reaching for her hands and when she took them, I let her cry into my bare chest. The hug turned intimate when she pulled away only to plant a slow kiss on my lips. My hands planted themselves on the back of her neck as I kissed her back, indulging myself with the sweet taste of her tongue. Her hands dipped into my shorts, pulling them down until they pooled at my feet.

Once we were both undressed, I slipped my hand in between her legs and opened her slick folds wide enough for me to stroke her into groaning for me.

“Before we continue, there’s something else…” Susie mentioned, as her breath caught when I rubbed at her clit. I grinned and kissed her lips as I waited for her to continue.

“I’m leaving New York. For good.” Her words would have shaken me to the core if I hadn’t been used to this type of fucked up cycle my entire life. I never got good news without bad news following right after.

“Are you leaving tonight?” I asked, and when she shook her head, I kissed her forehead, her nose, then her lips, then slowly down her chest until I was on my knees and in between her thighs.

“Then I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”