Around & Around

When Valentina first moved to Los Angeles, there were some people that she couldn’t leave behind. It wasn’t easy for her, being alone in a town she had no idea of. Nonetheless, she never expected it to chew her up and spit her out the way it did. When she finally got on her feet, the first thing she wanted to do was show off to her friends that she made it. Thus, leading her to invite old men back to show off her new life.

Valentina and Joaquin’s relationship was never ordinary. The two were always fighting or fucking. When Valentina met Joaquin, she thought he was cool. Meeting him once when she was out with a group of friends. Never did she realize that she would be stuck in this circle with him three years later. It was back and forth all the time with him. He was always running off other people she was with, talking to her any way he wanted to, getting what he wanted and leaving. She always liked how he could put her in her place, unlike most men who would back down. She felt like he bought her back to Earth. Though, she always felt like she landed face first on the way down. Still, she couldn’t get enough, no matter how many times she told him to leave her alone.

It was strange to Valentina, knowing she was usually the one always leaving others. Every time she thought she could handle him, get the upper hand, she was always the one left frustrated. But honestly, she didn’t know any better, until now. Being in LA and being on the site, Valentina honestly felt like she was changing. She was making decent friends, doing things outside of partying and finding herself growing, in a way. She wasn’t angry all the time, worrying about money; she liked the space she was in.

So when Joaquin called, Valentina didn’t know what to do. Her stomach got tight and she bit the inside of her cheek as she stared at the phone, reading his name over and over again, burning it into her mind. She stared at it until it stopped ringing, but she knew better that Joaquin would only try once. After prepping herself, she answered after the third call. “Hola mamá,” A deep voice said on the other line.

“Joaquin,” Valentina could only say, trying to sound unimpressed. The two started to talk in their native tongue, talking as if they didn’t yell at one another until they were red last time. Joaquin told Valentina how good he was doing in business and that he was in town. As always, he didn’t ask, saying he was coming to see her. Feeling herself beginning to slip again, she tried to tell him no, but it was unlike Joaquin to take it. He only told her that he would be over in ten minuets.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, not wanting any kind of negativity like that in her life right now. Still, after she hung up the phone, she hurried to get ready, convincing herself that a talk wouldn’t do any harm and that she wasn’t going to let him inside. She put on a tight dress, as usual, her makeup already done. Hearing the horn outside, she glanced out her window to see he bought a new car—a new Mercedes. She slid into her heels and made it outside, trying to beat him from coming to the front of the apartments.

Sliding into his car, she greeted him with a hug, giving the stupid excuse that she thought he was going to take her out. She knew better. He even told her that he did. They both knew what he wanted. She tried to remain calm, not to crack and show him that she was nervous—trying to stir up small talk, something she was horribly bad at. He didn’t buy it, looking at her with hungry eyes. “Te ves un poco pequeña, mami,” he said, letting her know he wasn’t happy about it. “I don’t like it,” He said clearly in English.

“Well, I didn’t fucking do it for you,” She replied hastily.

Like a bomb, Joaquin snapped, his voice raising to her, telling her that he shouldn’t have come over. Trying to keep her cool, Valentina didn’t say much. He taunted her, grabbing her chin to make her look at him, reminding her where she came from, yelling at her that she changed until another bomb in her set off. The bickering soon took off into a screaming match in the car. The two yelling at each other in Spanish. He invaded her space, like always, and she didn’t back down, lashing back at him like he was doing to her.

It wasn’t long until she got out of the car, slamming the door as hard as she could. Her middle finger went up, a loud and sharp fuck you coming from her mouth. She knew it wasn’t the last of it, Joaquin coming behind her, grabbing her arm, telling her to get back here. It was that circle again she found herself in. The world already felt like it was spinning, she was so mad.

They yelled all the way up to the room, Valentina telling him to go home and fuck off. His hands touched her chin again, this time to kiss her. He was rough, like always, and even after all that, she felt her knees melt. Pressing her hard against her door, his hands searched all over her body, and that quickly, depressingly, she gave in. He was in her apartment, the two not even bothering to go back to her room.

They did it in her kitchen. As always, he wasn’t gentle and he didn’t face her. She didn’t care about how happy she was before he came, it still felt good. Being reminded of home, some sort of familiarity in her life. It wasn’t until he was finished that it quickly subsided. Her high was gone. Before she could even pull her underwear up, he was dressed. “Te dije que sigues siendo mía,” he whispered in her ear before smacking her butt. She adjusted herself and suddenly she felt dirty—a feeling she hadn't had in a long time. She didn’t want to face him. She couldn’t. Her jaw jutted to the side, hoping he would just go. He turned her around to face him, planting a hard kiss to her lips. After that, he finally left, telling her he’d call her, which she knew was a lie.

The first thing Valentina did was take a shower. She always felt so icky after they did it. The water ran over her, like her disappointment. She felt so defeated, really believing she could leave him in her past. She didn’t feel happy at all and she didn’t want to be bothered. She felt stuck again, regretting even picking up the phone.