A little to large

It was 1995 and still the scene of big hair and wild clothing prints but anyhow, the 90’s were what fantasies were made of! I started dating a guy I met at work who just happened to be a doctor and a hot kind of doctor. You know what I’m talking about, the so good looking that it would be embarrassing to have him as a gynecologist kind of guy! We were off and doing the dating scene and I figured that since this guy was a doctor, well that he would be skilled in the bedroom. I know I was thinking secret ninja sexual secrets but what I actually got in the sex department with this guy will forever go down in my most embarrassing bedroom scenarios!

“Mike” and I went for dinner and it was about our tenth date and I just couldn’t wait any longer for the moment of gratification. We went to a really nice Mexico restaurant in my neighborhood that was known for being authentic and boy did they deliver on our date night, we started with a glass of Merlot ! Little did mike know that I had on a bustier and matching , sexy undergarments. I should have known we were in for trouble when he reached in to kiss me but instead, burped in my face. I wrote that off as not horrible but certainly avoidable in the future. We took a cab back to his house and it was on like donkey Kong the entire ride back to his place. Hands groping, kissing and the look that says it all! We barely make it inside his house before we’re ripping each other’s clothes off and stumble down the hallway to his room. It was the first time I had seen his room or been in it. In the corner sat a armoire and to be honest, it was beautiful. We’re rolling on the bed half naked and I’m thinking okay this is the moment of truth, he tells me that he’s got a surprise for both of us and I’m thinking champagne or a glass of Merlot, he goes over to the armoire and man alive, I’ve never seen so many sex toys and apparatus! The first thought that flashed through my mind was he’s overcompensating for something. He takes out some ropes and asks me to tie him up and at this point I’m thinking we’re about to have an all out me on top rodeo! So, I obliged but he wanted me to tie him up face down and while it seemed a little strange, I thought it might still somehow work. He told me to go to the armoire and pick out something to play with and well my family being from Texas and all, I picked up the biggest dildo I have ever seen in my life. It’s at this point that it gets really weird because he asks me to slap him with the dildo and me still seeing some potential in this moment gave him a good wack across his butt cheeks. I slapped him so hard with the dildo that he farted loudly and at this point, I put my clothes back on in between laughter and left him there tied up face down on the bed with a giant dildo laying next to his red ass cheeks and called it a night. Needless to say that his housekeeper found him that next morning and our relationship ended but man his memory and that glass of Merlot will live on forever!