It’s 2019, and sexual empowerment has never been more widespread. Historical boundaries are slowly breaking down, and old taboos are finally being laid to rest. With the spirit of this liberation in mind, I want to talk to you about a frequently misrepresented form of sexual pleasure: prostate stimulation. Anyone born with male sex organs has a prostate, but so few of us take the opportunity to explore its potential for sexual stimulation. I firmly believe every man should have a prostate orgasm in order to experience just how pleasurable it can be.
It isn’t as weird as you think.
We all know there are some negative connotations out there about men pursuing a prostate orgasm. Before I get into all the reasons why I believe every man should have a prostate orgasm at least once in their life, I want to clear up these fears and misconceptions because they are largely unfounded.
The first question that most guys have about anal play is: Does it hurt? And here’s the thing: it can hurt if you go about it without proper preparation. However, you can virtually eliminate any pain or discomfort simply by doing a little bit of research. (And since you’re reading this article, you’re already on the right track, so good job!) The number one consideration is that you must use lube. The anus doesn’t lubricate itself, so using a high quality lubricant is by far the most painless way to insert anything into it. The other important measure in avoiding pain is to relax and to take your time. If you try to force anything, you greatly increase your chances of hurting yourself. There’s no rush: keep it slow and enjoy exploring your body.
The other major misconception people have is that anal play is messy business. Which is… fair. But again, this can be solved with adequate preparation. We all know what else goes on down there, but if you’re mindful and eat a healthy diet, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Use the restroom an hour or two before you start your session, and a shower doesn’t hurt either. In fact, if you want to take some extra precautions, experimenting in the shower provides a worry-free environment. Another option is to cleanse yourself with an enema, but in most cases, this is an unnecessary step. Whatever route you take, don’t let these minor reservations keep you from seeking out the immense unique pleasure that is the prostate orgasm.
The prostate is the sex organ you didn’t know you had.
I don’t want to insult anyone’s intelligence here, but do you know what the prostate actually is? In everyday lexicon, most people have heard of prostate exams, prostate cancer, and other medical jargon. But I’d bet many of us don’t quite grasp what function the prostate serves and why it has so much potential as a source of sexual pleasure.
The prostate is located between your penis and your anus, and it surrounds the urethra. It has a couple of key functions, including producing something called prostatic fluid, which actually makes up the majority of your semen. The testicles get all the credit for semen since the sperm is the stuff that makes babies, but when it comes to volume, sperm only makes up about 5% of seminal fluid. The rest comes from the seminal vesicles and—you guessed it—the prostate. But your prostate does more than simply help your body produce semen. It also contains muscles that help expel semen during ejaculation. Basically, the prostate is your penis’s right hand man.
Now that you have a basic understanding of how important the prostate is to your sexual functions, imagine the pleasurable possibilities you could unlock by stimulating it directly. And here’s the good news: you can. All it takes is a little know-how and some open-mindedness, and you’ll quickly discover why the prostate is known as the male G spot.
You don’t have to take the rear entrance.
This section comes with a huge disclaimer because, no, you can’t have a prostate orgasm without some sort of anal penetration. However, if you are skeptical of the power of the prostate, I encourage you to dip a toe in the waters by massaging your perineum (the skin between your testicles and anus). This is about where your prostate is, and applying some minor pressure to it while you masturbate will heighten your experience. Trust me, if you try this method and enjoy the additional pleasure, it’s just a preview to the new world that can be uncovered with a true prostate orgasm. For that, you’re going to have to get your hands dirty—or better yet, use a toy.
You can use toys to make it even more fun.
The world of sex toys is massive, but it is admittedly much more geared toward women than men. Getting into prostate play is a great excuse to try out toys that will make hands free prostate stimulation easier and even more pleasurable. In all honesty, it’s pretty difficult to attain a prostate orgasm using only your fingers, but the right tool can work wonders. While traditional dildos can provide anal and prostate pleasure, specialized prostate massagers are designed with key features that optimize pleasure while ensuring safety.
The most important of these features is a flared base. Any sex toy used for anal play should have some sort of curved or widened base to ensure that the toy isn’t fully inserted into the anus and potentially lost in the rectum. There’s a simple rule to remember: if it doesn’t have a flared base, don’t stick it up your butt.
Another important safety feature with prostate massagers, as well as with all sex toys, is that they should be made with body-safe materials. This is where a lot of companies cut corners, but don’t let yourself be swayed by the lower prices. If you’re going to be putting anything into your body, you want to make sure it is made of high quality, safe materials. High-grade silicone is one of the best options for safety and durability. If you get a silicone toy, just make sure to use a water based lubricant, as a silicone based lube can damage your expensive toy.
With these safety concerns in mind, there’s still a bevy of shapes and designs and features that you can go with when it comes to anal play, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Conventional dildos provide a sensation of penetration and butt plugs provide a feeling of fullness. If you are chasing after the elusive prostate orgasm, however, I highly recommend you seek out a specially designed prostate massager.
Prostate massagers are slim to provide ease of penetration and curved to reach just the right spot, providing the utmost in both comfort and stimulation. One of my top-tier prostate toys is Vector by We-Vibe. It ticks all the safety requirements and further ups the game with ten vibration settings. It also features a rechargeable battery and a wireless remote. To top it all off, it’s 100% waterproof which, let’s just say, greatly increases your options of use.
You don’t have to touch your penis (but you can).
One phenomenal advantage of the prostate orgasm is that it can eliminate the refractory period normally associated with penile orgasms. That is, if you can keep your hands off your penis. You basically have two options: you can keep your hands off and achieve orgasm purely through prostate stimulation, or you can “double up,” as it were.
Different bodies will experience orgasms differently, but many men won’t ejaculate when experiencing a prostate orgasm. This allows them to have multiple or even consecutive orgasms, which is practically unheard of with penile orgasms. If you want to try for consecutive orgasms, my best advice is to avoid touching your penis—tempting though it may be. Once you start, it’s incredibly hard (no pun intended) to go back. Your orgasm will be intense, for sure, but you probably won’t get more than one.
This is certainly not to say that you should never double up. Masturbating normally while massaging your prostate won’t allow you to have multiple consecutive orgasms, but when you reach orgasm this way, it can be one of the most intensely pleasurable experiences of your life. I will say that it is difficult to achieve this sort of orgasm with just your hands, or even with manual toys. This is just another reason why I highly recommend a vibrating prostate massager like the Vector by We-Vibe.
You can extend your playtime.
Sometimes, we could all use a good quickie. But nothing can match the euphoria and sheer relaxation to be gained from an extra-long playtime session, whether you’re by yourself or with a partner. But for a variety of reasons, it takes a bit of care to make something sexual last that long.
For one thing, folks with penises have to deal with a refractory period after each orgasm. This means either your session ends when you orgasm or you’ll have to find something else to do while you recharge. Prostate and anal play help with both these issues: if you master the hands free technique I mentioned earlier, you can have multiple prostate orgasms throughout your session and skip that refractory period. On the other hand, if you have a penile orgasm, you can switch to prostate stimulation to gear up for round two.
All of these benefits remain whether you’re with a partner or on a solo excursion, by the way. Any way you look at it, opening the door to prostate play and anal play greatly expands your options in the bedroom. Variety is the spice of life, so you owe it to yourself to experiment with these new realms of pleasure.
This is a totally unique sensation.
In case I haven’t made it clear enough, I want to state plainly that the orgasm you can achieve via prostate stimulation is an entirely different sensation from a “normal” orgasm. Penile orgasms are often a localized sensation, while prostate orgasms can surge throughout your entire body. Afterwards, your legs will be shaky and you’ll need a moment to recover before you can stand again. It’s a truly transcendent experience, especially the first time.
Every man should have a prostate orgasm if for no other reason than to experience this unique feeling. Some men may decide that they don’t particularly enjoy anal play, and that the payoff of a prostate orgasm isn’t worth the discomfort. I firmly believe that most men will absolutely enjoy the experience, as long as they go about it with the proper tools, a healthy mindset, and appropriate preparation. Bottom line: if you give prostate play a chance, your only regret will be that you hadn’t discovered it sooner.