Zhu's Clues to America

Sitting in the living room came as a reward for the hard-working Huangdi Zhu. He was good at his job as a chief consultant at an electronics agency, specializing in electronic GPS and navigational systems. He had moved to America 17 years ago and had had the opportunity to learn a lot about the culture and the people. He thought they were quite nice and didn't get in the way of his work. At the office, they called him Mr. Wizz-Z, referring to the first initial of his last name, and the fluidity with which he would recall rare pieces of information - he found it quite humorous. In China, nobody had given him a nickname.

His boss was nice to him and had helped him get American citizenship in the short time he had been in America. So had his beautiful American wife, Lydia. He had wonderful people in his life and had managed to do what many men struggle with all their lives; establish a future. With an 8-year-old son and another baby on the way, his keen sense of responsibility had to be polished to keep the family's needs satisfied.

It was a strange country to him however; he thought the cars were oversized and the roads even more so. The food was not the best either. It was no reason to be discontented, although the food could be much better.

Sitting on the couch with legs stretched on the ottoman, his shirt with the top three buttons undone, and his spectacles placed carefully on a mahogany cabinet placed at the end of the couch. He began to reminisce about an early experience in America all those years ago when he had first flown across the ocean.

He had realized quickly that to flourish in this new land he would need a vehicle. And so, one day he went to a dealership to find a vehicle to satisfy his needs.

The name of the dealership was "Sandy Automobile". The lot had rows and rows of cars. All different colors, but their size was fairly consistent. Apart from the high-end sedans that were lined up neatly next to the road, all the cars were large. The dealership itself was modest, but large, and had window panes showing an exclusive selection of upper echelon vehicles. It was a sunny day and the light glimmered through windscreens and fresh car bodies. Particularly, it refracted with elegance among the dealership in the adjacent window panes, displaying a calming façade as salesmen in suits discussed with customers or sat on their computers awaiting calls.

Zhu approaches the first gentleman he saw and introduces himself.

"Hello, sir! My name is Zhu and I would like to buy a car."

The salesman replies earnestly "Hey, how are you?" and then shakes his hand.

Zhu replied, "I'm good, thanks."

"That's a wonderful watch you have there, what is it?"

"Ah, an antique from my ancestor. It was given to me by my father" said Zhu.

"Very nice. Let's get to business, what kind of car are you looking for."

Zhu thought for a moment "Hmm, something comfortable... large, but practical."

"Well, we specialize in that criteria. Here let's take a look at the Chevrolet's" replies the Salesman.

The salesman walks with Zhu to a line of Chevrolet vehicles; midsize, full-size, all kinds of sizes but generally large. Zhu is impressed by the size of these vehicles, he has never driven a vehicle of this size. It would be a perfect vehicle to drive through the desert landscapes and the long roads in the southern States. He had been heavily considering a road trip through the belly of America, wondering about all the things he could see and learn.

"These cars are so big!" exclaims Zhu.

"Yup, that's how we do it in Texas. American cars for American people"

"But I am not American, I'm Chinese!" Zhu replies amusingly.

"Well, now you're American... welcome! How about we give one of these girls a test drive, how does that sound? You seem like you know exactly what you want, but if you have any questions on pricing or loan application I'll be right here. May I ask, are you working on a budget?"

"Hmmm. For now, I will see what I like..." he considers carefully the selection of vehicles and what would be ideal for his needs.

After a moment of consideration, he lands his finger on a green Chevrolet station wagon, "This one!"

"Great choice, sir. I'll go grab the key" the salesman leaves back to the dealership to grab the key for the vehicle as Zhu waits by the wagon.

As Zhu waits by the wagon he takes a look to his left and notices a man wearing an oversize khaki suit with a creamy blue tie, light brown shoes, and sleek shades approaching. Zhu is impressed by the fashion but looks away before the glance becomes a stare. Eventually, the khaki man is right next to Zhu.

"You thinkin' of buyin' this wardrobe on wheels?" the man says.

Zhu is stunned initially but then finds a reply, "Yea... yea I guess I'm thinking about it."

"Well if you had any sense, you wouldn't... this right here is a hunk of shit!" the man repeats.

"Umm excuse me, I don't know you" replies Zhu.

The man extends his hand and introduces himself.

"I'm Larry, my dealership is right across the road."

Larry waves his hand to the other side of the road and outlines a large rotating sign with the word "Larry's Dealership". A large red tube man waves around in a random, heart-warming pattern.

He continues, "We've got the best deals in town and especially for a new American like you!"

Zhu chuckles politely. He is quite prepared to make arrangements to buy the station wagon. He knew he wanted it before he got there he just had to see it in person before he could make the decision.

"I think this car will suit me sir" replies Zhu.

"Listen uhh-"

"Zhu"

"Listen, Mr. Zhu, this guy right here makes his business on rip-offs. He gets these as trade-ins, gives them a nice interior wash and a buffer on the outside, and throws them on the lot. I tell you from experience, partner! Been 20 years or there about's since we been opposite each, other only a matter of time before this whole scheme comes crashin' down!"

Zhu looks at Larry in consternation. Just then, the nameless salesman returned from his journey and decided to clarify his two cents on the matter. He grabs Larry by the collar and pushes him into the tailgate of a full-size truck. Then begins yelling in his face.

"You got no right to be chatting with my customers like that, boy! You best get your sorry ass off-a my property before I send that little peacock head of yours into the stars, ya hear me!"

The salesman was furious and the ruckus had made it inside the dealership. Zhu adjusts his spectacles and looks around to see the reaction to the commotion. The actions of the salesman left the surrounding audience quite flustered, but what was to happen next could not have been predicted.

The salesman raises his fists and clashes squarely with the side of Larry's head. Larry takes the fall and gets up a little disorientated, Zhu tries to help him steady himself but Larry gets right back on to the salesman throwing a few low kicks at the knees and ankles.

The two salesmen are now squared in the middle of the parking lot jumping around like a couple of jackrabbits in the middle of a playground argument. Eventually, Larry makes the move and goes in with two jabs and a hefty knee to the stomach. The salesman doubles down and Larry ends with a punch in the gut and a push putting the salesman to the floor.

"Come on!" says Larry grabbing Zhu by the arm, "He's gonna get you involved in this B.S".

Zhu didn't know what 'B.S' meant but figured the smart thing to do would be to follow Larry to his dealership on the other side of the street. In the meantime, the Salesman could tend to his wounds, and then, his shattered vanity.

The two men cross the street, careful to avoid any oncoming traffic. Larry speaks on the whole walk over about his selection of cars and the high quality of business that his salesmanship has garnered. Originally from the east coast, he had moved to Texas after-tax complications, or as he expressed "government theft". He liked the Texan style and didn't mind the bluntness of the cowboys, he had learned a lot from the way they process and interpret business and political discourse. He said that Texas was what was left of "the land of the free", a truly American state. Zhu didn't have the opportunity to say much about himself.

Once they had crossed the road and arrived at the lot Larry showed him a range of vehicles, very similar to the ones across the road. Just as big and colorful. Zhu explained to Larry that he liked the idea of purchasing a station wagon so that he could road trip around the southern States of America.

"This is the perfect one for you!" Larry said.

Before the men stood a large Cadillac SRX in a beige cream with tinted windows. "This one comes tinted on all windows, keepin' them sun glares out of your eyes."

Zhu was quite impressed, he liked the car.

"Let's take her for a ride shall we?" said Larry.

"Sure."

Larry headed into the dealership to grab the keys for the vehicles. In the meantime, Zhu waited outside in the blistering heat. Keeping an eye out for the salesman from the other lot just in case he would have any ideas. The coast was clear.

Larry comes out and cooly throws the keys in the air for Zhu to catch them, he misses and they fall to the floor.

"Don't worry 'bout that my man!" says Larry, as Zhu bends down to pick up the keys on the concrete.

"Alright, hop in. Let's take this bad boy for a ride..."

Zhu gets into the driver's seat and pushes the key into the ignition. Then the engine starts with a hum like that of a bee. He likes it already.

Pulling out of the parking lot he briefly glances to the other side of the road where the Salesman is speaking to what seems to be his manager. He throws his arms around in erratic gestures with a tissue in his nostril sealing a bloody nose.

"Ahhh, let's take a left here at the lights, eh?" says Larry.

"Sure, no problem."

Larry continues, "See that what you saw there... it's not typical business in America. Sometimes rivalries get heated and lately Kyrie's been stealing far too much business from me. He's not the best salesman either, he gets real cocky with me, so today I had to show him a lesson."

"Is Kyrie the man at the other shop" replies Zhu, not entirely sure why Larry is telling him this.

"Yeah, he's got a real temper. Known him for about 16 years now and he's the first one to let loose in any damn bar. He's a knucklehead but he's got a nutcase, you follow?"

Zhu didn't know what any of that meant, particularly the last 'knucklehead' and 'nutcase', but he figured he'd play along.

"Yeah... knucklehead," says Zhu.

Larry begins to chuckle and Zhu adds a few himself. The two men are enjoying the ride and Zhu thinks the car moves marvellously.

"How's the car runnin' for you, my man?" says Larry as they head back around the block towards the parking lot.

"Oh, very nice. I like it"

"That's good, this one is a beauty. Got all the safety features too, you look like a family man."

Zhu nods as they head into the parking lot, "How much is it?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's within your range. You can talk with Lydia at the front desk, she'll set you up with payment plans and ownership contracts. How does that sound?"

Zhu nods once again. They park the car and the two men get out. Larry leads Zhu to the dealership. An interesting architectural choice between a modern exterior and a little more rustic on the inside. Possibly just recently completed, a new taste for minimalism, Zhu thinks to himself.

Arriving at the front desk, Larry introduces Zhu to Lydia. She is a beautiful woman with sandy-brown hair and delicate hazel eyes. She wears a plain light-blue sundress with flowers and beige mules with a strap over the bridge. Zhu feels himself flushing but convinces himself that he is hiding it.

"Hi, there Mr... Zhu, am I pronouncing that correctly?" says Lydia.

Zhu completely missed the part where Larry had introduced him, but he figured to play along.

He pretends to read the name badge but he already knows her name, "Eh, yes. And you are... Lydia, correct?"

Lydia laughs and smiles warmly. She turns to her computer and begins typing something up. The printer burrs and two pieces of paper are ejected. Lydia gets up to grab them and files them into a sheet protector.

"Follow me over to this desk Zhu," she says.

They walk over to a desk and Zhu takes a seat opposite Lydia. He clasps his hands into a neat position. Smiling, he looks like an official player.

Lydia begins her speech, "So we can set you up on financing over a 12-month lease or you can pay the $42,000 straight up. Additionally to that..." she brings out the other paper she printed "... you will need to sign off on this proof of ownership document and verify that you have a valid drivers license to drive in the U.S and an insurance coverage plan. Also, to register your vehicle with the DMV by the end of this week."

Zhu looks at the information pensively. He has enough money to buy the car flat out and he won't need to worry about bills for this month because of the signing bonus at his new job. Figuring that he's in a comfortable buying position, he proposes: "I will buy the vehicle in cash today, but... on the condition that I can drive you home."

An awkward pause occurs, Lydia looks down and seems to flush but Zhu can't really tell. She replies, "That's very kind of you, but I have my car parked outside. I'll need it to get to work tomorrow."

"Okay... how about we can get some food later on. I only just got here and I need to find the best Chinese place in town. Do you like Chinese food?"

Lydia looks at him slightly muddles and laughs nervously, "I'm sorry, I don't understand..."

"Do you like food from China?" Zhu rephrases.

She touches her head behind her left ear, "Oh right haha, yeah... I do actually. I know one good spot but I'm not sure... you're the expert."

Zhu puts his hand to his mouth and looks down, thinking profoundly.

"How about we set a date? And I can drive you in my car to get a drive-thru? I want to become more American."

Lydia laughs, "sure, leave your number on the form and we can arrange that."

"Okay. And you will call me right?"

"Yeah, of course. You're funny."

They fill out the remainder of the paperwork together and Zhu pays entirely for the car. Heavy in heart, however, because it cost over half of his signing bonus and he will need to be very stingy on his consumption over the next few months.

He drives home thinking about the fight and Lydia and when he would see her next. She had a beautiful smile and she was a true American woman with a great heart.

***