Won't Miss a Second

If walls could talk, what would we say?

Would we tell tales of our inhabitants? Or, would we complain of the mice and termites you ignored?

Would we be grand story tellers or would we sing like canaries at your next jury trial? To be honest all these answers are correct, we're bored and people are hilarious in what you do when you think no one is watching. So what kind of wall do you think I am? A hotel wall, a wall in your home, or a politicians office wall? Nope, I'm the wall of a beat up crummy Volvo and believe you me as a car wall I see and hear all kinds of juicyness on the flip side I have seen and heard things Id rather forget. Take my driver Mike for example the past few months alone has further drilled in my head that he is a crumb from the stalest moldiest cookie...with raisins. Allow me to set the scene for you:

Mike is a married man of fifteen years. He and his wife Becca have 3 children together . Typical story boy meets girl, boy knocks up girl, boy marries girl. They have their good days and their bad days and more common than not days where Becca complains Mike is being distant, sneaky and dishonest; and Mike saves his hide by being charming and gaslighting Becca into believing she's at fault and that everything is ok. When that doesn't work he perfects the art of manipulation by playing the woe is me card and blames his mental health and just throws himself on the sword of being a miserable human being to garner pity.

Becca; knows Mike is full of shit but yet eagerly takes his side and goes a long with his reasons, excuses and lies in order to maintain her own image of a "good woman" while having her own affairs, putting the children in the middle and keeping a tight reign on the life she fears losing. So needless to say both have issues in my opinion all three characters in this drama have issues.

As I was saying; every day on his way to and from work he calls someone he calls "Princess" and let me tell you the those calls were enough to make a grown man blush and probably kill others, and I have seen Mike's goods more time than I care to (referring to seeing things Id much rather soon forget). I can tell "Princess" is suspicious because she has asked on more than one occasion when he always talks to her on his way to and from work, despite his excuses of wanting to focus on his kids when he was home, I could tell she felt something was fishy despite her silence. I remember going " Sweet Damn, there might be hope for this one she's got a brain." or so I thought. So a few weeks ago, the shitteth hitteth the fanneth for my driver Mike. Seems "Princess's" friend who is not one of Mike's fans (bit of a story of unrequited love there) decided to play detective and found out about Becca and I guess threatened Mike to come clean or he was going to tell his wife everything which said friend ended up doing anyway, along with the little tidbit that "Princess" was pregnant that sure as hell knocked Mike back a peg a three.

See, as I mentioned Mike is a slimeball, but these women even though I think they are idiots (hold onto your pitchforks feminists, you'll see why) my heart breaks for them. I mean I am just a wall in a nasty car that smells like stale french-fries and gym socks and I can see this man is in the wrong and yet; they are trying to calm HIM down , contadicting him when he pulls the "pity me" card of saying he is a POS and messed up in the head. The wife is blaming his upbringing, which in my opinion you get to a point in life no matter how bad your childhood was where you need to start taking ownership and stop blaming mommy and daddy (thats right I said it); and "Princess" is blaming the wife and the marriage because "[he] must be unhappy in the marriage if [he] is trying to have an affair." (Which again from the standpoint of a wall and thus have never had a wife or any spouse for that matter if you are so unhappy that you are considering stepping out have the balls to either get help and or end it cause obviously there is not a whole lot keeping you two loving each other and there's gonna be one idjit who is yelling "think of the children." the children are seeing this shit your not doing them any favors besides showing em a lack of morals, respect, and boundaries which are going to make relationships hard for them when they grow up not to mention dealing with your dysfunctional asses.)Both seem to be promising not to abandon HIM when he's the one that has abandoned both of THEM. Sure enough he's putting the ball in his wife's court about how he doesn't understand why she stays, he doesn't deserve her or her loyalty because he messed up again. I had to feel for "Princess" at this point all the empty words and promises of the future. The "I love yous" and the plans of having her look into jobs for him to move closer, if she could be a fly on me I know her heart would be breaking from the hurt and hearing how he was claiming her as a mistake. Even if he did not say those words to do this much back tracking and to ignore his mistress to pacify his wife told me everything. Shame "Princess" wasn't listening to it.

Whether ruled by love, hormones, or girly bits I cant understand which. I felt for her from what I had heard Mike was pulling out all the stops, the plans for the future to the point of having her look around for a house and a job, the "L" word, the whole shebang. To find out it was all I lie, even though he was denying it was a lie and trying to tell her it was all real and that he was in love with both of them and wanted both of them in his life. Claiming he had planned on going through with their plans and that he just needed some time to think. I can kind of understand where he's coming from. Getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar and to find out the cookie is about to have another cookie that you put there I can believe you need some space until he drove us home to his and his wife's house. Must not need as much space as he thought. Have you ever watched a show and you see something and you want to just yell through the screen to let them know "hey look out"? Welcome to my life; cause I would have loved nothing more than to blow the whistle a little more on how he was still playing both of these women with all his double talk; telling one thing to one and something else to the other.

Eventually, he calls "Princess" and they set up a time and place to meet and talk. No gold stickers for guessing what ends up happening but I assure you it wasn't a whole lot of talking. An hour later he was out like a bat out of Hell and back to ignoring "Princess's" calls and on the phone with his wife. Not sure what the rest of the night was like. Seemed peaceful enough until the next morning. "Princess" followed Mike all the way to his job which I'll admit creeped me out a little, but was also impressive since she had never visited his job before and with Mike behind the wheel I have worried before with his driving if I was gonna end up in a junk lot. Well you'd think Mike would now have to deal with everything or at least get angry, nope. The Yutz completely ignores her and from what I am able to overhear they didn't talk (surprise surprise) and he had left her hanging with no answers. Instead of dealing with it he gets on the phone not sure if he was calling back up or what, I will say for what he did "Princess" was surprisingly calm. Yeah she was frustrated, and if you had your time and resources wasted I am sure all of you would too, but she wasn't irate she wasn't behaving irrational I wasn't having images of a Louisville slugger to my headlights so I don't think back up was needed but from what I have seen Mike can't handle his BS in front of him.

Not even five minuets goes by and Bossman pulls up and Mike hops in the car and we are pulling out; last thing I heard was Bossman letting her know she had to leave and that Mike just needed some time. I know I'm a man well as far as a wall is able to have a gender but even I find it trashy that everyone is rallying around this dirt bag. He cheated on his wife someone that regardless of his reasons pledged his life and loyalty to so long as they are married and he lead, lied, impregnated, and yes even cheated; cause I can attest she had no knowledge that he was married, on this lady as well. He even hid behind his children to hide it from her and yet, everyone was rallying around him. No wonder humans have problem with narcissists, mental health is used as an excuse to justify all around bad behavior, and it goes unchecked, unacknowledged and with no REAL consequences for the REAL offender. Before we pulled completely out I heard "Princess" calmly agree to leave as she was not there to cause any trouble and get in her own car. What happened next I am not sure it was clouded judgement due to the awkwardness of the situation, exhaustion as the sun wasn't even up yet, or maybe it was a calculated risk to get Mike's attention, but as she was pulling out she took a wrong turn and ended up in the small ditch that if it wasn't for the snow two feet of snow and ice she would have cleared it. Since his phone didn't immediately ring I'm inclined to believe it was truly an accident. She must have eventually called him because about an hour and a half later Mike comes back slamming the door and cussing as we drive back to the main building and she was still stuck in the ditch trying to pack the snow to wedge her floor mats under the tires my guess to get traction. He left the car so I was not able to hear what was said til he came back not even five minuets later, apparently she was really stuck but from what I saw he gave one push and not even a good one. I had to hand it to her despite how everything had played out she was still cool calm and collected, she asked him if he'd at least wait with her til the tow truck came to get her, stupid SOB wouldn't even do that much. He left her there in the dark in seven degree weather as we pulled out so he can go and get his "wounds" licked, sometimes I really hate just being a wall because if I could I would have made the car stop or if I was feeling extra poetic I would have veered into the same snow bank she had; give him a taste of his own medicine.

For the next week I didn't hear much more, Mike is on a short leash with his wife calling every free moment he has which in my opinion he is getting off easy. Sure enough Mike had told his wife a much different version of last weeks events that resulted in restraining order against "Princess" so as far as I knew this was the end of things, until this past week. Mike has started reaching out to "Princess at the normal schedule that is unless interrupted by Becca. I know it's the same person because I have heard several mentions of the baby. I am glad to have my show back, I feel for the characters all except the main one that I am forced to endure everyday, I still enjoy him though. Kind of one of those characters you love to hate and can't get enough of cause you are wondering what they are going to do to fuck up now.

The show has taken a disappointing albeit interesting turn; Mike has two women, but is still married to one. We'll call her Woman A. Woman A and B know OF each other, but only in the sense that Woman B is currently aware of Woman A while Woman A knows Mike was involved with Woman B but is under the impression that he is no longer in contact with her. Between you and me though I think Woman A knows but is wanting to keep blinders on for the reason I have previously stated and after fifteen years and Mike making a habit of this no woman is that gullible. As for Woman B I know she loves Mike, but I am not sure if that love has stayed love or if it has morphed into into hate or quest for revenge? Mike talks about being with her; about leaving Becca, but he also talks about giving Becca the benefit of the doubt and "seeing if she can handle the real him as he gets better and gets a clear head." to "Princess" then reassures his wife and talks about fixing things with her and their family when he's on the phone with his wife.

When I hear "Princess" and Mike talk I can imagine a chess game of bullshit where I doubt both players know they are playing. He bad mouths the wife about how he is not loved and is only seen as a meal ticket. When I hear the Mike talk with his wife I wonder if they are team members in a sick game against princess in order to have something to bond and hold their crumbling decaying toxic waste of a relationship together; a common enemy as it were. As for "Princess" I can't decide if she is the stereotypical mistress; wanting him to leave his wife for her (Why I don't know. My understanding of humans is that if a Guy cheats on a woman with another woman the odds he'll cheat again on the woman he cheated with are exponential.) or if she's got something up her sleeve; an agenda to pay him back for the stress, hurt and humiliation. One thing is certain though, I am along for the ride and I won't miss a second and neither should you.

Stay tuned my friends...