Winged Memoirs

Day 198

It has been almost half a year since I have been alone living in the rain forest. The peaceful lively sound of the singing birds with the buzz of the chirping insects, the smell after the pounding rainstorms and the deep colors of the greenery around keeps me whole. Sometimes I stare at the scenery and get lost in my thoughts and wish I had someone that I could share them with. It gets lonesome when I am sitting by the waterfalls and watch them playing on the other side. It makes me miss my family more than usual.

I recently finished making my tree house and I am currently in it right now writing in a leaf journal i made. It has been raining heavily the last couple of days and I couldn't feel more alive. I love waking up to the smell of the rain and the humidity it causes. Drinking fresh rain water off the leaves always reminds me of my family. Some days they are all that I sit and think about. It is little things that remind me of them that comfort me the most.

Lately I have been keeping a close eye on natives from the village but luckily none of them have noticed me. Time to time I think that I should join them, but then I remember the risk. Is it worth it? What if they remembered me from the fight that broke out with my family. Besides things the way I have learned them has become what is known and familiar for me.

Last night before the loud sound of thunder and lightening awoken me I had a dream that they tried kidnapping me when I was with my family. Yet when I woke up to sleep again I had run to them in the second dream. This time there was a lady that I vaguely recognized. I begged them to take me is as one of their own and surrendered my bow and arrows hoping they would deem me as dangerous. They shook their heads frowning, took my bow and aimed it at me, but then I woke up.

Day 202

Today I met a friend by the waterfall. He spotted me and sneakily went off to find me. His Portuguese was broken but I could understand it. He were playful and giving. I have a bag of fruits that he gave me in exchange for the picture I was sketching at the waterfall. He called themselves Ompi, drawing a picture in the dirt and claiming it as his own. There was a gentle warmness to him as he pulled my hand toward it and than away. I nodded although I didn't quite understand, and he smiled.

There is something different about him than the rest of them but I cannot define it from a far. Nothing like the stories that my family would tell me when I was younger. Perhaps it being the only human interaction that I have had since I have been alone. His skin was darker and his hair is a little bit shorter than mine, but we are about the same height with the same colored eyes. We laughed and he spoke of something about pretty girls while pointing to me. It made me wish that I could meet them too as I grew up mostly around boys.

Day 205

I am missing my cousins and wonder where they are. I regret that they left me here alone when a fight broke out. They did not know where I was hiding and I did not know where they had gone. Although almost everything that I know about surviving in the rainforest I learned from them there is still a part of me that believes there is better ways. These ways that I have not yet learned, but maybe the others already have?

I often imagine becoming one of them, but something always stops me. There is something in me that fears them for whatever happened with my family. I have never found out what happened after they left me. The only thing I do is completely avoid the others side of the territory as my cousins taught me I should. That is where we had gone hunting the day that they caught us, well everyone except me because I ran as fast and far as I could and never looked behind me to see if they were following.

Ompi and I went hunting today together where it is forbidden for them to be. He is a rebel with his own cause and we had a successful journey. I caught a deer and he caught his brother two manatees. My cousins never taught me how to do this as they said it wasn't good and that the manatees were our friends. As to why he is not allowed where we went is unknown to me as I could not understand what he was telling me. I could see the sparkle in his eyes as we went there anyways.

He isn't scared of anything or anyone as far as I can tell. There were somethings about me that reminded me of myself, and others that are so unlike me. Today marks the fifth day that we have spent time together. He risks a lot coming to see me because no one knows I am here still. Our friendship is a secret, one that could potentially get us both in trouble with the others. Some day I will ask him if I can join them and then it will be safe. I don't want to have to spend the rest of my life in hiding. I hope someday they can lead me to where my family could have gone.

Day 215

Earlier today Ompi showed me a picture of a women that looked familiar to the lady I have seen vaguely in my dreams. Then he showed me a second drawing of what looked like him when he was younger and her. It made me start wonder to wonder again why my parents left me when I was too young to remember. My whole life I have grown up resenting them for leaving me but today after seeing Ompi with his mother it made me believe maybe there was a good reason. I can't quite place a finger on why she appears to look like the woman from my dreams, but maybe it means something.

Day 225

I haven't seen Ompi since the day that he showed me the old drawings. Lately I have been gathering as much food as I can find. Lately hunting and creating seems to be the only things that comforts me and keeps me from overthinking. Today I finally finished my new bow and the arrows that I started ten days ago since I last wrote. This week I am going to go hunting for birds for food and so that I can find some feathers for the arrows.

Day 229

I had a dream last night about the woman in Ompis picture and it was the same woman I have dreamt of before. In my dream I was with not only her but his entire family. Something inside me felt more complete than before. My cousins were there and it was like our family was one, but they were fighting about something. I woke up abruptly to the sound of macaws passing through the trees and couldn't fall back asleep.

What initially awoken me was the sound of one screeching loudly. I got up and followed the sound of it crying to find that it had been injured by an unseen predator that probably escaped when it heard me coming. The scarlet macaw is beside me as I write this. Luckily I got a couple of its feathers just enough for my arrows. Hoping I can nurse him back to health as I am sure that it has a mate somewhere waiting for it to come back home.

My cousin told me once that they mate for life, and I feel it my duty to make sure that it heals and can find its way back home. He has beautiful deep red with green yellow and blue feathers. I can't wait for the day that Ompi comes back so that I can show him the feathers on my bow and tell him how I saved his life. I hope that we will be friends forever kind of like the principle of how macaws are mates for life. Something inside me feels sad that it has been such a long time, but something else feels happy for him that he is busy with his family.

Day 240

Ompi came and saw me yesterday and gave me a special piece of jewelry. He said that his mother gave it to him and that it was very special to him. In exchange I gave him one of the arrows that I made. As excited as I was to tell him the story of the macaw he got to see for his own two eyes instead. It has not regained its ability to fly again since I found him. His wing was bitten and still healing from the damage. He has stayed with me ever since as a loudly screeching semi talkative friend.

I named my scarlet macaw Rojo. Ompi taught me that is the Spanish word for red. It seemed fitting for him and he likes saying it back when I call him. There is not many words I have been able of teaching him. Without gaining back to ability to fly again I will keep him for as long as I can and take care of him. On my shoulder is where he likes to be and nibble on my ear and hair when he is hungry.

Maybe it never had a mate, or maybe it'll find her again some day. I do not know, but he brought a big smile to Ompis' face as he put his hand to it and it climbed up on his hand. He learned how to say hello and he greeted Ompi with a screech after me. Becoming used to me he has become quite an affectionate bird. I taught Ompi the word companion, and told him Ompi and him were my companions.

There was an unfamiliar look in his eye before he left to go on his way that I did not know. It was an eagerness like there was something that he wanted to tell me but did not know how. Sometimes I wish that I knew how to read thoughts so I'd have an idea, but nothing came to mind. It was like his eyes were smiling waiting to tell a story, but I don't know what that story is. I have a feeling it was either a story for me that he was waiting to share, or a story he wanted to tell his family.

Day 257

I've been having a lot of dreams about going and meeting Ompis' family but when I think about it in my waking life I am unsure. Someday I will talk to him about it but I am secretly hoping that he will ask me. I've grown quite accustomed to living alone and so has Rojo. Still there is a part in me that says I am supposed to be with them.

Day 260

I woke up this morning to Ompi calling my name and Rojo trying to repeat it after him. Ompi told me I needed to leave where I was staying but he wouldn't tell me why. He handed me a map that he drew and told me where I should go. There was fear in his eyes and he left quickly after. I am afraid but I have faith me and Rojo will make it safely to wherever he has led us on the map.

My bag is full and I have everything necessary to survive and keeping myself safe. Leaving my home is difficult but I will try and come back some day, but I don't know when. Hopefully there will be answers when I make it to where I am going. It burdens me that I was as close as I was to asking him if I could join him and his family. Now for reasons that are unknown I have to leave and start a new again.

Keeping my fingers crossed that there is people where I am going that can help me by telling me what happened. This is the last page my journal has and I will have to make a new one once I know that I am safe. I will write again when I have begun again. Until then I will be running with Rojo.

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