Whine and Dine

Writer's Note: This is an updated version of a story previously published on Vocal.

Katelyn Renee Simmons did not know how to date.

She had read all the romantic books in her library, she had seen all the cheesy romantic comedies, and she even tried dating apps at unfortunate points in her life, but it was all to no avail. Still, her best friend Alexandria Matthews, or "Alex" as she liked to be called, decided to butt into her life and tell her that she needed to go on at least one date that did not end like the Hindenburg. Kate responded to her with a more fitting analogy; her dating life was more akin to the Titanic, where all the more "privileged" people were sent off to new adventures while she was left frozen in the water.

Despite having a fairly good time being single, she thought a change in her life was necessary, if only to prove a point to her thirty-four year-old self. She figured one last venture into the metaphorical shark-infested waters was a good benchmark; if it were successful, yay! If it were unsuccessful, also yay because she would be able to say "Yeah, it's true. My dating ability is about as effective as a submarine made of chicken wire."

December 21st, 2012 was to be the day Alex set her up on a blind date. Today was that day and was also when the world was supposed to end so, at the very least, it meant the date itself could not be too bad in comparison. Kate went to a local department store, one of many in the St. Louis area, ahead of time and purchased a nice red dress. Then she returned it and got a nice black dress. Then she returned that and got a jogging suit. Alex told her to go back and get the red dress.

"But that looks so... red. What if red isn't my color?"

"Red is your color," Alex said in an exasperated manner, "I know Andy would like it too."

"You think so?"

"I know so. He's a good friend of mine! He has been in my life for ten years and he deserves the best, that's why I'm setting him up with you. Now go in and get the dress!"

Resigning herself to potential humiliation, Kate walked back into the department store to purchase the dress. A few moments later, Kate came back out of the store holding the jogging outfit. After a terse look from Alex, she once again went back inside, and this time emerged with a long, flowy red dress. At the very least, with her caramel skin tone, she looked like her favorite character from a life simulator game she played.

"Dress has been taken care of," she thought to herself. Next on her list was, as Alex said, "getting some makeup and shoes to go with it", during which Kate felt like she was in a land dedicated to impeccable boredom. Luckily, the plaza had a shoe store nearby, so they made their way over there. Kate, being clueless in both fashion and dating, asked Alex to come along this time. She promptly refused.

Frustrated, Kate walked into the building and looked for a pair of shoes that matched in both fashion and practicality. Of all the shoes in the building, a pair of red ballet flats seemed to be calling her name. She grabbed the shoes, paid for them, and returned them to Alex who responded with a nod of approval.

"So, what's next?" Kate asked, "staring at a blank wall for six hours?"

Alex looked at her with a stern expression. "No, you go home and get dressed. Andy is meeting you at the restaurant I told you about tonight at seven."

"Then I shall do that," Kate turned around, and then back to Alex. "Where do I live again?"

-----

The clock on Kate's wall read 6:15 PM, indicating to her she had forty-five minutes to be at the restaurant to meet her blind date. Kate had wanted to look up "Andrew Parker" on the social media website SocialNet, but at the same time wanted to go in completely blind to not set herself up for disappointment. From what Alex had told her, Andy was a young man roughly around her age who had ambitions to become a journalist for the St. Louis Skygate, a popular online newsletter devoted to science fiction.

Kate herself loved the idea of aliens and other science fiction stories, and in fact, had begun to search related videos on ViewMe after coming home from her shopping trip. After another seemingly five-minute video, Kate glanced at the clock, staring at the numbers as they said 6:47 PM.

It took all of a minute for Kate to register what she was reading on the clock. At 6:48 PM, she immediately stood up and ran to her bedroom to retrieve her dress, a white shawl, her shoes, and she brushed out her hair before getting dressed and running out the door.

Thankfully, her apartment was close to the restaurant she was supposed to meet Andy at, a detail no doubt thought ahead of by Alex for this reason. The restaurant was a nice enough establishment being not too fancy and, to Kate's relief, not too full of people. Kate looked around and laid eyes on a tall, dark-haired man with gray eyes sitting at a table near the front of the restaurant, fidgeting and looking at his phone.

From his body language, he did not seem very keen on being there as well, so she figured this was the one she had been sent to meet. Looking around, every other occupied table had either a couple of people or an entire party, depending on the social situation. Fearing embarrassment, Kate stepped forward and somehow eventually ended up at the table occupied by the lone man.

"Hi Kate I'm Andy?"

"Erm, what? The man looked confused, but before he could get anything else out, Kate quickly realized her mistake.

"I mean, are you Andy Parker? I'm Kate Simmons. My friend Alex told me to meet you here. I like science fiction and detective stories and walks in the snow am I going too fast?"

The man chuckled, "Considering you haven't even sat down before talking about your interests I don't entirely know."

Kate awkwardly laughed in response before sitting on the chair opposite him. "I am here to meet someone named Andy, and I am sincerely hoping it is you because if not I just sat down at a stranger's table and that is so not cool on my part."

"That's me! Alex told me to meet you here." Andy extended his hand over the table with a palm to the side. Kate reached over and shook his hand, but while returning her hand her arm knocked the candlelit centerpiece down on its side.

Kate's eyes widened as the candle fell over and almost ignited the tablecloth. Andy quickly stood up and grabbed the candle, moving fast enough to extinguish the flame before putting it back on the candleholder in the centerpiece. Kate's brain, however, didn't quite register the danger being over before she grabbed a close-by glass of water and poured it on the table close to where the flame was, spilling it all over the white tablecloth.

Everyone in the restaurant had noticed the commotion and veered their eyes tot he table, particularly on Kate herself. In response, Kate slunk back into her chair and wrapped her shawl around her body.

"I'm Kate," she said, meekly, before putting her face in her hands. "Nice to meet you, Andy."

A few moments later, Andy and Kate had been moved to a different table while the servers cleaned up the water damage. In a moment of clarity, Kate looked at the wall next to the table and took note of the fire extinguisher before slinking back down into the chair. Not too long afterward, a waitress showed up with a writing pad. Kate smiled at her and looked over at Andy. "So, what would you like to eat?"

Andy picked up the menu and looked through it. "I'm a fan of the steak or the chicken Alfredo. The white wine here's pretty good. You?"

"I don't come here very often," Kate responded while picking up the menu herself, looking through the variety of very fancy wines and meals. "I think I'll take the chicken Parmesan. Oh, and the red wine looks good! I'll take a glass of that!"

The waitress took the order and walked back into the kitchen, leaving Kate and Andy alone once again. This time, Andy took the lead in the conversation. "Have you lived in St. Louis very long?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded while looking around. No one else seemed to be looking at her anymore after the water incident, so momentarily she felt less embarrassed and capable of talking in actual sentences. "I've been here about four years. I moved here after college seeking a full-time job in journalism. So far, I just have freelance work here and there. Our uh, mutual friend Alex, she 'discovered' me and helped me get my foot in the door at a local newspaper here."

"Oh yeah, she's immensely helpful. I've known her for fifteen years, we met in... Middle School? It was that long ago? Honestly, sometimes I forget how old I am. Anyway, we hit it off as friends and we've been so ever since." Andy fidgeted in his chair. "I hope you don't mind my asking, where did you live before here?"

"A small town here in Missouri. They have a casino, a prison… there are other places, but I didn't go out much before. I hope I'm not oversharing."

Andy shook his head. "No, not at all. I'm surprised you have told me so much with a cool head. You seemed nervous when you first got here."

Kate awkwardly chuckled. "You uh, you noticed that, right?"

Andy gestured to the table currently blocked off with chairs as the restaurant crew removed the tablecloth for cleaning. "I think they noticed it more than I did."

Kate once again chuckled awkwardly as the waitress showed up and put two glasses on the table, Kate was slightly further away from her as she filled it with dark red wine. When that was over with, she filled the other glass with a crisp clear wine. Kate carefully reached over and picked up her glass, putting it to her lips while praying to whatever being she could now that it didn't spill and cause more embarrassment.

Andy, however, picked his glass up, and before he could reach it to his mouth, the neck of the glass broke, and the cup spilled all over his lap. Kate slunk back into her chair as Andy facepalmed, stood up, and tried to wipe off his pants as the waitress screeched and loudly apologized. "I am so sorry! I think that glass was defective!"

Andy smiled, "Yeah, it's okay, that kind of stuff seems to keep happening to me." He took his napkin from the table and placed it on his lap, hoping it would soak the wine out.

"I will go get you another glass!" The waitress said politely, then started walking relatively fast towards the bar. As she rounded the corner, however, a loud crash echoed across the restaurant, drawing the attention of everyone.

It seemed she slipped on her wine-soaked shoes when they contacted the tile floor. "I'm okay!" she yelled out across the restaurant. Andy and Kate looked at each other with worry before Kate, trying to break the awkward tension, lifted the bottle left on the table and poured herself another glass of wine.

Minutes passed, and the server returned to the pair and put a glass down, pouring the remainder of the white wine bottle into it. Andy slightly frowned when the wine barely filled a small amount. Kate smiled and lifted her glass, gesturing to his as the two tapped each other with a resounding clink.

Andy smiled and nodded, and the waitress picked the Merlot bottle out of her hands and filled his glass with the contents. Kate smiled as Andy finished his glass of wine.

Not too long afterward, the food was brought to the table and placed before the pair. Kate dug into her food the moment it hit the table. However, this was a bad idea as the food was still steaming hot.

Kate enjoyed the taste of the chicken Parmesan but was not so inclined to enjoy the raging wildfire destroying her taste buds. Reaching for anything to drink, she grabbed a complimentary glass of water off the table and downed it while standing up quickly. Andy looked worried as she did so, but she sat back down and put the glass close to the edge of the table.

"That was a bit too hot, I am so sorry!"

"It's okay," Andy replied, stifling a laugh, "I made the same mistake the first time here too."

"Yeah, I just hope nothing else bad happens tonight. I wanted to make a good impression!"

Kate soon realized one must never tempt fate as she sat back down on her chair. Throughout the evening, the chair's integrity slowly decreased over time. When she rested gently on the seat again, the legs gave way and she fell to the ground, yelping while grabbing onto the table to keep herself up. Instead of the table, she'd grabbed the tablecloth. The expected result resulted and the contents of the table joined her on the floor. Thankfully, she had managed to roll out of the way of the hot food plates, but rolled directly into a different chair and knocked herself out.

After she woke up, Andy insisted Kate go to the hospital, so he drove her across town and took her into the emergency room. He sat with her in the waiting room to ensure she was okay, and after the doctor made sure she did not suffer a concussion, she was released. The two began to walk out the ER doors, Andy putting his jacket over her to keep her warm in the late fall weather.

"Well, this was about as disastrous as I'd expected," Kate stopped walking, using her phone as a reflective screen to look at the large bandage on her forehead. "I would honestly not be surprised if you didn't want to try this again."

Andy shrugged. "Honestly, it wasn't the worst date I've ever been on. This one time I went out on a first date with someone who talked to spaghetti noodles."

Kate looked at him with a very confused stare. "Spa-what?"

Andy briefly shuddered before looking her in the eyes. "I don't want to relive that."

The two started laughing as they walked down the hospital's parking lot. Eventually, they spotted Andy's sedan a few rows over. Andy walked Kate to the passenger side of the car. She smiled and climbed in, hitting her head on the door frame and falling to the concrete ground.

"You okay?"

Kate popped back up from her landing spot and shook her head, "I'm okay Mr. Andy I'm just a wee bit wizzledy doo."

Andy laughed as Kate leaned forward and looked up at the stars, particularly at a six-star constellation in the northwest sky.

"I named that, by the way."

"What?" Andy turned and looked at where Kate was pointing.

"I won a contest when I was a kid and the prize was naming that constellation. I named it 'Selora' because that name kept popping up in my dreams at the time."

A short silence followed, immediately after which Kate looked back over to Andy. "I know that sounds weird but after this date, is it honestly that bad?"

While Kate sat in the passenger seat and Andy leaned against the car, the pair discussed their date as well as their respective history with dating as well. As Kate learned, Andy had never had much success with dates in the past, mostly due to his lifelong internal combat with shyness. As the clock hit 1:30 AM, Andy got into the car to take her home.

The trip across town felt quicker than it was. After passing by a local movie theater, Kate and Andy got into a playful competition regarding their favorite science fiction films, of which Kate declared herself the winner. When they finally arrived at Kate's home, Andy got out of the vehicle and opened the door, helping her out of the car to avoid another hit to the head.

Kate walked to her door but stopped when she heard Andy's voice calling back to her. "Hey! I forgot to give you this. I noticed how much you liked that wine back at the restaurant, so I bought you a bottle from them as a memento for this... nice? Date?"

Kate smirked and took the bottle. "Thank you, kind sir. I'll be sure to finish it when I'm done taking my pain meds."

Andy gave a sly smile. "So, we on for next week? There is still plenty of nice places in this town that practically need a remodel."

Kate took a second to register what he'd said, then smiled as brightly as she could after lightly smacking his arm for the joke. "Uh yeah! I'll see you next week! I just need to update my medical insurance."

It was Andy's turn to laugh as he turned around back to his car. "See you around, Kate."

Kate returned a small smile as she turned back into her home. As soon as she was able to put her key in the lock, she turned around and put the bottle of wine on the ground next to the door, and then immediately sauntered over to the couch to sit down, finally realizing she was wearing Andy's jacket since he put it on her. As she sat down, she pulled up a messaging app and sent a text to Andy, saying as such.

"It's okay, I'll get it back from you later. Next week sound good? :)"

When that was done, Kate placed her phone on the table and passed out, Andy's calm smile the last thing she thought of before drifting off to sleep with his warm jacket as a blanket.

About the Author:

N.J. Folsom is an introverted writer based in Missouri. In his free time, he likes to play video games and draw. If you like the story and felt it was worth your time, please consider donating to his PayPal so he can write more!

PayPal.me/adventfear