Where is the Gingerbread Man?

In an effort not to groan into his notebook, Detective Grimm grunted instead. For a second he was afraid that the elderly lady in front of him would criticize him for being rude but thankfully, she didn’t say anything.

Which Detective Grimm was grateful for because he could already tell that this was going to be a long day.

“So you’re telling me, Ms. Granny-of-the-Boy-Who-Lives-Down-the-Lane, that you bought pixie dust from Ms. Tinkerbell and thought it would be a good idea to sprinkle some over a giant gingerbread man with gumdrop buttons that you were making for yourself and your family?”

“Yes, Tinkerbell said that pixie dust helps make desserts even more special,” Granny answered nervously. “By, you know, making them float.”

“Ma’am, you were supposed to sprinkle the pixie dust after you took the gingerbread man out of the oven, not before,” Detective Grimm explained as calmly as he could. “The extreme heat makes the pixie dust go into overdrive as well as changes its function into making things alive instead of float.”

“Oh,” Granny said. “I . . . may have missed that part.”

Detective Grimm had to clear his throat to stop himself from saying something cheeky.

“So, after you opened the oven just a tiny bit and the gingerbread man escaped, what happened?”

“Well, me and my husband chased after him of course,” Granny said like this was the most obvious answer. “It took me a long time to make him after all, the gumdrop buttons were kind of expensive, and my grandson was just about to come home from school with wool from the black sheep. We wanted to eat the gingerbread man! We deserved to! He also smelled so delicious . . .”

“I see,” Detective Grimm said as he wrote her statement down. “And did this gingerbread man say anything to you?”

“Ah yes! As we chased after him, before our stamina wore out, he kept yelling, ‘Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me! I’m the gingerbread man!’ It was so infuriating!”

“I’m sure it was,” Detective Grimm said without a hint of emotion. “Where did you last see this runaway dessert before you and your husband were forced to stop to catch your breath?”

“Near the miller’s,” she answered. “You know, the one whose daughter just became Queen because she spun straw into gold.”

“Alright, Ms. Granny-of-the-Boy-Who-Lives-Down-the-Lane, we will get back in touch with you soon once we have more answers,” Detective Grimm told her as he put away his pen and notebook. “Though, I must warn you, your gingerbread man might have been eaten already.”

“Oh, I doubt it, he was awfully fast,” Granny said optimistically. Detective Grimm just nodded as he went ahead to the miller. Thankfully, the miller didn't live too far from the granny, and before he knew it, Detective Grimm was knocking on the front door.

“Yes, may I help you?” Detective Grimm would be lying if he said he didn’t jump out of his skin a little at the voice behind him. He turned around to see the miller standing behind him, his hair all askew and his face red.

“Um . . . yes,” Detective Grimm asked as he took out his notebook and pen. “I am asking for the whereabouts of a sentient gingerbread man with gumdrop buttons. Would I be amiss to assume that you have seen the treat?”

“No, you wouldn’t,” the miller sighed as he scratched his head. “You see, I was outside on my rocking chair, taking a break from work so I can think of a good present for my daughter. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but she is expecting my first grandchild, also the King’s first child and heir.”

“I’m aware,” Detective Grimm nodded, remembering the announcement just a few days ago. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. Anyway, she’s understandably a bit nervous these days so I was trying to think of something that could help ease her pregnancy a little when all of a sudden, this gingerbread man came running out of nowhere saying, ‘Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me! I’m the gingerbread man!’ And well . . .”

“You thought the gingerbread man would be a good present for your daughter so you ran after him?” Detective Grimm guessed.

“I did,” the miller admitted. “I figured that it would at least cheer her up. She does love gingerbread. But the gingerbread man was right, I couldn’t catch him.”

“Where was the last place you saw him?” asked Detective Grimm as he wrote all of this down in his notebook.

“Umm . . . ah, it was in the flower field by the school,” the miller answered.

“Thank you,” Detective Grimm said though inwardly he was worried. Chances were, the gingerbread man would have passed the school right as classes were done for the day. And since the kids were probably faster or at least had more stamina than the granny and the elderly miller, it was likely that the kids caught the gingerbread man.

And magical sentient foods did not sit well in children’s stomachs.

Detective Grimm hurried a little faster and within several minutes, he was in the flower field that the miller was talking about. Even though the school had ended a little while ago, there were still several kids hanging around, either playing games like tag or just simply making flower crowns.

“Hey! It’s Detective Grimm!” cried Jack, who was holding a bucket with his sister Jill. In an instant, Detective Grimm found himself surrounded by the children, who all either wanted to show him the flower crowns they just made or tried to get him to play tag with them.

“Sorry, I can’t stay long kids,” Detective Grimm said with a genuine smile as he gave a flower crown back to Little Miss Muffet by gently placing it on her head. “I’m on the hunt for a running gingerbread man with gumdrop buttons. You guys haven’t seen him by chance, have you?"

“There’s a running gingerbread man?!” the children cried excitedly, making Detective Grimm sigh softly with relief. They obviously hadn’t seen him, let alone eaten him.

“How tall is he?”

“How can he run without breaking his legs?”

“Why is he running? What did he do?”

“Do you think he’ll be mad if we eat one of his gumdrop buttons?”

“He’s about as tall as a baking sheet, he can run because of pixie dust, he’s running because he doesn’t want to be eaten, so yes, he will probably be mad if you ate one of his gumdrop buttons,” Detective Grimm answered quickly before any more questions could be asked. “You wouldn’t want to anyway, the magical residue from the gingerbread man would give you a bad stomachache.”

“How bad of a stomachache?” Jack Horner asked with a raised hand, a fresh plum on his thumb.

“Bad enough for your parents to call the doctor.” This was met by horrified gasps as one even proclaimed they ate an apple every day to avoid seeing the dreaded doctor. Only when the kids calmed down, did Detective Grimm continue. “So I guess you kids haven’t seen him, huh?”

“No, I saw him.” Detective Grimm’s head whipped to Mary, who was standing just outside of the crowd, holding her little lamb.

“Mary, why didn’t you say anything?!” Little Miss Muffet cried, earning her a shrug from Mary.

“What happened dear?” Detective Grimm asked, knowing full well that Mary was just a quiet child.

“Well, I had to leave school early because he somehow got inside the school again,” Mary explained as she patted her lamb before setting him down. “Just as I got out, I saw the gingerbread man running through the field, yelling, ‘Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me! I’m the gingerbread man!”

“And then what happened?” Detective Grimm asked as he made his way over to her and crouched so he was eye-level with her.

“Well, I thought he was in trouble so I tried to run after him to help but then my lamb whined because I was leaving him behind so I stopped. I’m sorry, I don’t know where he was running to.”

“It’s okay, it seems like he is pretty fast, so you might not have been able to catch up with him anyway,” Detective Grimm comforted her. “But if you could point me in the direction that he was running in that would be a great help.”

Without a word, Mary pointed to the trees that lay beyond the school building. Detective Grimm frowned as he stood up. There was a very wide river in that direction, with not a single bridge to cross it for miles. The gingerbread man wouldn’t try to swim across it, would he?

Well, if he did, as long as Detective Grimm found some of his mushy remains he could close the case and call it a day.

“Well, looks like I must be off. See you later kids.” As the children all said their goodbyes, Detective Grimm headed towards the trees, wondering if the case was really drawing to a close. Within minutes, he was in the small grove of trees, and in even less time he was in front of the river.

And right across from it, was a fox he was very familiar with.

And the fox just smacked his lips, like he just had a satisfactory meal.

Or treat.

“Hi Foxy Loxy,” Detective Grimm called, causing the fox to jerk in surprise.

“U-Uh...hi Detective,” Foxy Loxy called back, easily going back to his cool and suave persona. “Has a goose or another friend of Chicken Little died again? If so, I swear as an honest fox that it wasn’t me.”

“Not a goose this time,” Detective Grimm answered with a shake of his head. “A sentient gingerbread man. Have you by chance seen him? Or . . . eaten him?”

“A sentient gingerbread man? Why no, I haven’t seen such a miraculous sight-”

“Do I need to take you to the police station and pump your stomach again?” Detective Grimm cut him off, not in the mood to play these kinds of games right now. Luckily, Foxy Loxy blanched as he hung his head.

“No, I ate him,” Foxy Loxy admitted before he picked up his head, a defiant expression on his face. “But it wasn’t my fault! He was just standing by the river so like any good fox, I offered him a ride and he accepted! But then the river got deeper so I had him climb higher and before I knew it, he was on my nose! How could I not eat him?”

“Ah, so that’s what happened,” Detective Grimm said with a sigh of relief because the case was officially closed. There was just one more thing he had to take care of. “But don’t worry, you’re not actually in trouble. Well, legal trouble that is.”

“What? Really?” Foxy Loxy said, blinking his eyes in surprise. “Wait, what do you mean by-”

“The gingerbread man came alive thanks to pixie dust, so it wasn’t going to stay alive much longer anyway. Honestly, you probably did him a favor, giving him such a quick end,” Detective Grimm explained. “But that gingerbread man did belong to Ms. Granny-of-the-Boy-Who-Lives-Down-the-Lane, so I do need you to come with me so you can apologize to her for unknowingly eating her dessert.”

“. . .That’s it? No loopholes? No forced servitude for seven or a hundred years?” Foxy Loxy asked.

“Well, the granny might ask you to help pay for some of the ingredients or help around the house, but that is as much as she is legally able to ask you for compensation.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Foxy Loxy agreed amicably before he walked into the river and started swimming towards Detective Grimm. “I was kinda bored anyways.”

“Bored? You just ate a sentient gingerbread man,” Detective Grimm asked with a raised eyebrow. Then, right as Foxy Loxy climbed onto the bank, a thought struck him. “How did he taste anyway?”

“Honestly?” Foxy Loxy said as he shook the water off his fur. “Kinda gritty.”